Turtles All the Way Down

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Novelist John Green is someone who lives with obsessive-compulsive disorder. John Green is the author of Turtles All The Way Down. This book helps people gain an understanding of OCD from the vulnerability the leading character Aza gives off. The Author John Green also lives with the obsessive-compulsive disorder.'I get terrified of having an illness or containing some kind of contamination. And then I become incapable of thinking about that” Green states in NPR audio. Just the thought of having OCD or experiencing this disorder seems hard to deal with.

A spiral is different for many people, for Aza it's something that seems to follow her inwardly, which keeps going forever.

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Many people think you can deal with it just by saying it's going to be okay. Technically speaking that's referred to as a classic cliche. It just gets to the point of feeling like it’s never-ending. Aza experiences intrusive thoughts about becoming susceptible to C. Diff and has come to the conclusion she's going to die.

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What seems to in some way make it so frightening to her is once she's in it, it doesn't feel like an intrusive thought spiral at the moment; it merely feels like a thought. Which can be absolutely terrifying to someone who suffers from a mental disorder. Aza tends to isolate herself without recognizing it; this is because she struggles with expressing her feelings with language. This isn't, something you can see with the naked eye, it's more to it than that.

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She tends to bar people out without barely recognizing it because she's so wrapped up in her own mind. Which makes it harder on the people around her.

Aza isn't completely sure if she's genuine or not. Which is understandable with what she's dealing with. Aza succumbs to the intrusive thoughts that plague her anxious mind often and starts nervously to self-harm. Her compulsiveness is like a defense mechanism that she merely uses to manage the overwhelming fear inadvertently caused by the obsessiveness. Aza states “I find that my OCD makes me a terrible detective'. She has trouble perceiving the world around her because she's is so fixated, and deeply focused on herself. Aza enjoys a homely life in a sense of worldly things, but as far as being social she's not very sociable. Her surrounding sometimes tends to get her worked up, but it all stems because internally she thinks the world is fighting desperately against her. She’s trapped inside her spiraling intrusive thoughts. Aza has OCD, it’s not a mental disorder her friends can see, but it’s there.

It's as if Aza is being cruelly tortured, as Daisy points out. Aza pain assigns little room for anyone else. She sees Daisy as her best friend, but she's never in fact gotten to appreciate Daisy. This is due to the fact Aza only worries about herself unless it benefits her in any rather way. She doesn’t listen to Daisy; she doesn’t know about her money struggles and doesn’t read her fanfiction. So, therefore, that makes her blind to the problems Daisy may be facing, because Aza refuses to regard anything outside of her own problems. Quite frankly Aza is naive to many personal situations. She’s not an idealistic best friend. Aza disorder indeed causes her to solely focus on herself and shut everyone else out. Aza's trapped in her own head so she can't possibly understand what others feel. Throughout the story, The main question is how can she remain a worthy friend if she doesn't understand where Daisy?

Nevertheless, she does love Daisy. When called out on her behavior, she at least attempts to change. Not immediately and not without beating herself up about it. Towards the end, it’s apparent that she does care about Daisy, just in her own way. Daisy is portrayed as a great friend throughout. She purposely involves Aza in conversations, encourages her to pay attention to Davis, and makes her investigate the missing millionaire. It's very intriguing because a focuses daisy is this outgoing platonic dream girl that is trying to teach her friend the value of risks. Daisy keeps Aza involved in ordinary juvenile life. Aza reads the fanfiction and sees all her worst traits in Ayala. Daisy is no longer pictured as the perfect best friend. This is because it forced Aza to see her faults and how it affects everyone around her. This bothered her even more because Daisy had every right to express frustrations, and these frustrations sometimes are villainized. Aza’s obsessive disorder caused her to push many people away and most notable her friendship with Daisy. Aza was incredibly selfish without recognizing it until she fell out with Daisy. This uncovered her eyes to everyone around her problems and not just her own. This story demonstrates the importance of friendships and the effect they can have on the mental state.