Self-realization is not a New Age concept. Discovering the true self dates back to the dawn of spirituality and you do not have to look far to discover its various form and versions. Ceremonial magick is but one of many methods of achieving the rebirth of the self. When I took a serious approach to learn Ceremonial magick… the most empowering concept was the discovery of the self. THIS I absolutely had to attain — it was the voice to my song.
But in the early stages of my understanding, I was not fully embracing what that meant. I am not speaking of the idea of \”finding one’s path.\” But the discovery of the True Will, our celestial mind. The true, clear, being, that we are prior to any conditioning forced upon us.
When I began to branch out within-study and practice, I cross-referenced everything. Looking for the single piece of knowledge overlooked because of mankind’s general pompous attitude in regards to their own creation.
I had to also escape my own self-inflicted ego. While I still fumble from time to time with egoism in terms of materialistic concepts, I have and continue to make connections and parallels in the spiritual world. Regardless of my findings, I refuse to conform to a “process” merely because it fits my ideas. Rather, I’ve become the process. Of course, I naturally see the benefits of using materials and ideas from previous like-minded individuals to gain perspective and knowledge – but I learned that it’s through practice I am finding wisdom.
But before all this can begin, self-realization must be understood. Self-realization finally revealed its true meaning to me, but it did not come quickly nor without trial and error. At first glance the concept was easy — but I had only touched the surface. My previous comprehension of self-realization was misguided. When I first picked up the book \”The Secret of the Golden Flower\” my thoughts on it were very different from what they are now. Originally, I took the text to mean that we must \”banish out\” all conditioning of our former influences in order to truly find our selves. Time passed and I put the principle to practice and began my own process. I now understand the text quite differently. My understanding of it now is that during childhood we are all disconnected from our true self due to some sort of conflict or event. As if a trigger is switched and our consciousness divides into a conscious state and an unconscious state. It has become clear to me that in order to \”attain\” the true-divine self, banishing out all the negatives and influences’ from life is not an accurate approach. In the end, it defeats the entire purpose of recognizing the very thing that disconnected you in the first place. Instead one should face it; understand it for what it is; accept it, and then ignore it. The point is not to embellish the past, but simply rewind the self to our previous unconditioned being. We then begin the process of learning that these self-altering events are due to the conscious conditioning — and not you. The \”collective\” barrier. The fear and lack of confidence that plagues us dwell in our consciousness; the only waking state we know. The totality of what you are is not fully realized. Only the mundane consciousness is invoked, limiting us and our grasp of true reality. To understand this is to begin the process of \”undoing,” not erasing.
Once we are able to understand the rewind process we can venture further back to the state of our celestial being. Where we are “reborn” and become our true divine self. Naturally, I understand it\’s not as simple as \”1-2-3,\”, and many spend a lifetime trying to \”achieve\” this rather than discover it. Meditation and the Middle Pillar exercise have been extremely beneficial to me once I understood the power of these two exercises. Even if this change within me is only psychological, but then again magick IS a form of psychology. This is where my thoughts on quantum physics become a factor. And while I can understand it within my own mind; I certainly will not attempt to explain quantum state here. I\’ll do very poorly in trying to elucidate — as some of you know from reading my post using “programming language” as a metaphor. :p While I feel I have made a lot of progress in my spiritual journey, I suddenly feel like I am on the brink of an epiphany. “My eyes are wide open.”