Understanding Paternalism: A Personal Reflection

Categories: Family

Reflection, Pages 2 (498 words)

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Growing up in a household with two brothers and three sisters, I was deeply influenced by the values of a paternalistic family. Despite having more sisters than brothers, the dynamics within our family were such that traditional gender roles were strictly enforced. My father, guided by a background of stern discipline, raised us with clear guidelines: men were to be protectors, while women were expected to excel in domestic duties, focusing on cooking, cleaning, and becoming ideal housewives.

As a child, I did not find my childhood particularly enjoyable due to the limitations placed on my social interactions.

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I was restricted from spending time with male relatives, cousins, and even friends. My father would often remind his daughters, "I'm providing you with the tools you need to protect yourself." The true significance of his words did not become clear to me until later in life. Reflecting back, I now understand that my brothers enjoyed more freedom not because of their age but because of their gender.

This paternalistic mindset, not only present in my father but also in uncles and distant cousins, strained my relationship with my family as I matured. I began to question the reasoning behind raising girls solely to fulfill traditional gender roles.

The Evolution of My Parenting Philosophy

Today, as a parent myself, I have chosen to take a different approach in raising my own children. Regardless of their gender, I emphasize equal opportunities and responsibilities for all. Gone are the days of different curfews and distinct expectations based on gender.

My children, both boys and girls, share the same responsibilities, curfew, and opportunities for personal growth. This shift in my parenting philosophy is rooted in the belief that every individual, regardless of gender, should be empowered to take care of themselves and their surroundings.

Challenges and Benefits of Paternalistic Upbringing

While growing up in a paternalistic family presented challenges, it also offered certain advantages. The paternalistic values instilled in me the importance of making decisions that would benefit my future self, even if it meant sacrificing immediate gratification. A paternalist with a lower discount rate can rationalize various interventions for the betterment of an individual's future self. This includes preventing self-harm, discouraging harmful habits like smoking, promoting healthy behaviors such as exercise, and enforcing financial responsibility, such as saving for emergencies and retirement.

In conclusion, my personal journey from a paternalistic upbringing to embracing a more egalitarian parenting philosophy has greatly influenced my perspective on traditional gender roles and individual autonomy. While the strict rules of my childhood may have strained my relationship with my family, they also provided valuable insights into the potential benefits of a paternalistic approach. As a parent, I strive to strike a balance, nurturing independence and responsibility in my children while acknowledging the value of thoughtful guidance for their future well-being.