Opinion Essay Writing Sample

Categories: Writing

IELTS Writing Task Question

Outdoor games are way better than the ones played indoor. What is your opinion?

IELTS Writing Task Answer

The prompt states that outdoor games are better than indoor games. I strongly believe in the statement. I support my favor towards it with multiple opinions which are mentioned below.

Firstly, there is a need to understand that whether a game is played in the indoor space or somewhere outside, it keeps the brain active and hone various skills of a person unless it is non-productive.

But today, in the tech era, where smartphones, tabs, video game consoles are the dominators, it is necessary to go outside in the sun and play for a plenty of benefits.

Undoubtedly, physical fitness is everyone’s concern, and one can clearly see that computers, consoles, or gadgets cannot provide the same. It is necessary to have a healthy body and sharp mind and outdoor sports let you achieve both of them to a great extent.

Secondly, playing indoor may give cabin fever to many.

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Indoor games on words and phrases, solving a puzzle, linking words to a given subjects, etc. are the types of plays that introduce isolation to life and somewhere harms your interpersonal skills. On the other hand, when you play outside, you feel fresh, merry and energetic. There is no mental stress when you return home, and you can focus better on other things.

One can use and leverage outdoor games as the opportunity of networking. In fact, many people from the business class use them to cement their business relations, generate leads and make loyal customers.

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All this is quite hard and next to impossible when you sit in front of your screen with your gaming console.

Teenagers are especially encouraged through physical activities in schools to incline more towards playing outside than to play in the boundaries of their homes. This is so because the brains of the little ones develop at a much faster rate when they go out and play. With their habit of playing in the open, they get to explore different kind of things and people. They also become good learners at their schools and become better personalities in their life ahead.

Another great reason to favor playing outside is the development of competitive spirit. These games are all about bonding well with your friends and digging out learnings from the failures and knowing how to respect the winners. This attitude is quite helpful as a person advances in his/her academic, personal or professional life.

Adding to everything above, playing outside teaches a plethora of things. Some of these are team spirit, discipline, organization, lessons on obeying rules, etc.

However, there are many that hold a different viewpoint. They strongly believe that indoor games are better than the ones that are played outside. They are safe, can be played at any time and there is no need to put any extra efforts.

But I believe, you can’t understand the meaning of winning unless you get down on the field, sweat and apply hard work.

In conclusion, I want to mention that in many schools and educational institutions, physical education holds an apex position. Teaching the importance of playing outside in detail and clearly to the teens is necessary. Apart from the little ones, the outdoor games are for all those who look forward to having a fit body and healthy mind. They surely have an extra edge over the indoor sports in more than one ways.

References

  • Indoor Games Vs. Outdoor Games |
  • Benefits of Indoor & Outdoor Games for Kids |
  • Outdoor Games: Advantages and Disadvantages of Outdoor Games |
Updated: Dec 26, 2023
Essay's Scoring Result:
Expert's Assessment
The essay articulates a clear stance on outdoor games, supported by relevant perspectives. It effectively underscores the significance of physical activity in the era dominated by technology. However, some points lack depth, and the essay would benefit from a more nuanced exploration of counterarguments. The organization is generally sound, but transitions could enhance coherence. Grammar is mostly correct, though there are occasional lapses. The essay references external sources, showcasing an attempt at well-rounded support. It successfully communicates the importance of outdoor activities, albeit with room for refinement in content depth and structural fluidity.
How can you enhance this essay?
The essay presents a clear viewpoint, but it would benefit from a more nuanced exploration of opposing arguments. The introduction could be more engaging, avoiding a direct repetition of the prompt. Additionally, some points lack depth and could be further developed for a comprehensive argument. Transitions between paragraphs need improvement for better cohesion. The essay contains grammatical errors, such as "on words and phrases," requiring careful proofreading. The use of external sources is commendable, but proper in-text citations should be incorporated. The conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing key points. Overall, enhancing content depth, refining transitions, and addressing grammatical issues would improve the essay.
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This essay's assessment was conducted by:
Dr. Emily Chen
Cite this page

Opinion Essay Writing Sample. (2017, Aug 30). Retrieved from https://studymoose.com/opinion-essay-writing-sample-essay

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