Strained Relationship with Father in Childhood

When I was in second grade, my dad and I did not get along very well. I used to think my father did not care about me. I would get frustrated with him because he would get mad at me about my grades and my behavior at school. I felt that there was no way that I could please my father. It made me lose all hope; I felt that I would just be a failure for the rest of my life.

He would tell me that I did not care or try hard enough to get good grades. He was right.

When I was younger, I did not care about grades. I had a friend who was a troublemaker and I liked being around him and getting in trouble. One time, we had to go to the office because we had a coat hanger sword fight in the locker room with some other kids. I went to the office so many times that year, and I am lucky I did not get kicked out of school.

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My dad didn't like my bad attitude, and he helped me shake it off over the next couple of years, but it was not a mere walk in the park. It was a rough path my dad and I was on. I hated my dad back then, and I didn't want anything to do with him. I thought he was out to get me, but I am glad that he persisted in helping me.

I eventually realized that he was trying to help me, but that was not until around fourth grade.

One day, in fourth grade, our anger and frustration had built up, and it erupted into a huge fight. "How can you say that you love me and care about me?" I yelled at my dad. No, I would not believe it! There was no way he could say that to my face! I continued shouting, "All you ever do is punish me, ground me, and get mad at me!" Instead of the rage and anger I had expected, my dad grasped me in a hug and whispered in my ear, "You will not understand how much I love you until you have children of your own." He went on to tell me that he wanted the best for me and that he was trying to discipline me so that I could take care of my own family one day.

It was as if my eyes were opened. I realized my dad was trying to help me, and that he did love me and care about me. I understood that to be able to have children, I would need to discipline them as my dad had done with me. To take care of them, I would need money from my job. It was then that I understood that my dad was preparing me for the future, and I will never be able to thank him enough for that. That is why I love my dad so much.

I remember when my dad read a paper I wrote in seventh grade. It was about who inspires me the most. He read it and asked why I said he inspired me the most. I answered, "That day, that one day back in fourth grade, it all clicked in my brain. I love you dad, and you are my inspiration." All my dad replied with was a smile, and I could tell that meant a lot to him. Whenever someone asks me who inspires me the most, I always answer, "My dad is who inspires me the most."

Without my dad, my future would have been destroyed by my past actions. My dad has changed my life for the better. Through the pain I felt, through the tears I shed, through the rage I released towards my father, I have realized my dad does love me. He has also shown me how important it will be for me to discipline my children someday, and how good grades will help me get a good job so I can take care of my family one day. My dad and I are closer than ever now, and I can not believe I ever hated him. I guess sometimes it takes difficulties and arguments to show you how much someone cares about you.