The Complexity of Loneliness: Exploring a Universal Human Emotion

The Blog-Loneliness

Loneliness is a powerful human emotion that is complex and unique to each person. It could be voluntary or involuntary. I think loneliness is a subject that can often be labeled and this is the reason I want to talk about my experience openly in the hope to support others who are facing a similar situation like me.

How do loneliness and isolation feel like? You feel lonely and worthless like you don't fit into this world and nobody understands and cares about you.

Making new friends seem nearly impossible and you feel like you are going to die soon as no one cares about you.

I still remember the darkest period of my life when I had a car accident and subsequent surgery. I remember the extreme pain I felt in my entire body. For more than two months, I was restricted to stay in my house and no one was there with me. I left my house only when I had to visit the doctor due to my appointment.

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I found myself feeling isolated from everything and everyone. I realized everyone was living their lives, going to work, school, church, brunch, parties, etc. After a couple of weeks, I started going on the walks with a Personal Support Worker who came to visit me for a few hours every day. I intended so many times to leave the house by myself, but there was the body brace and the walker that complicated things. My feelings of worthlessness made things even more problematic for me.

Once I was able to leave the house by myself, but I didn't want to; this was voluntary. I spent four months on my own for more than 14 hours a day. I didn't know how to be social, so I just retrieved into my comfort zone (my house). This was the point when people around me started to be upset and angry with me without knowing what I was struggling with.

They developed a very rude attitude towards me for example; I'm not inviting you to any more events, because you never come". When I gathered all my courage and confidence to attend the events and parties, people would still be upset with me. They used to say to me "Why did you even bother coming if you're just going to sit there and do nothing" "Don't expect me to get your food; I'm not your PSW!"

At this point, I realized that they really don't want to offend or hurt my feelings, because they didn't know what I was going through in my life. They did not know that their words were crushing my soul and the pain was more intense than physical pain.

From my experience, I have learned the lesson that we don't live in each other shoes, and we don't understand what the other person is going through. They could be struggling with Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Fibromyalgia, Depression, or Postpartum Depression. So, before making your assumptions, you should try to figure out how you can help them. Take steps to actually help them instead of just writing them off. Tell them how much you care about them and how important they are for you because these are the words that can comfort them and bring them back towards life.