Interpersonal Communication – Conflict Resolution

Introduction

Conflict is a part of our lives; however, what we can do is to make sure it doesn’t have the power over our lives. What I learned in conflict management skills may be hopeless because learning these tools cannot make conflict go away; yet, what it can do is make us deal with conflicts when they do happen in everyday life. To explain more properly, I will separate my own conflict assets and the assessment results. Whether I agree or disagree, and then form a definitive perspective about myself in relation to conflict.

While taking the Conflict Styles Assessment, I found that my highest score was in compromise, collaboration, and accommodation, making these types my main styles. My score was low in avoidance and competition, both of these styles I considered my secondary.

I took the test and my scores on all of the five conflict style. Avoidance: 12, Competition: 14, Compromise: 25, Accommodation: 14, and Collaboration: 25. While contrasting my results with my initial conflict management style.

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Avoidance, my avoidance was fairly low for myself but the quiz ranked my avoidance slightly higher. “Avoidance happens when we let denial, joking, and procrastination rule conflict”. (Wilmot & Hocker, 2011, p. 151) Competition, shockingly for me, ranked highest in a personal setting. My own ranking was lower then what I ranked. “When conflicts are seen as fights to be won, and tempestuous selfish behavior is employed, it is a good bet that competition is at hand” (Wilmot &Hocker, 2011, p. 157)

Compromise, my compromise is lowest in the results.

I ranked myself a few points higher then the results. “Both parties engaged in conflict that equally gain and lose for the greater good are engaging in compromise” (Wilmot & Hocker, 2011, p. 163).

Accommodation, my accommodation score was the most very similar and I ranked almost the same result. “The key element for accommodation is setting personal and individual needs aside for another, and putting more selfish desires on the backburner”. (Wilmot & Hocker, 2011, p. 165)

Collaboration, my collaboration score was similar as well, but slightly lower at the assessment result, but it’s a good thing because it can be more challenging than the other conflict styles. “It requires an intense and high consideration for individual needs and the needs of the other party to reach a solution that works for both” (Wilmot & Hocker, 2011, p. 168).

Analysis

The results of my conflict assessment style test were not completely unexpected to me; besides, I knew I would score high in accommodation, collaboration, and compromise. Though my avoidance and competition scores happened to be relatively low, it was a surprise for me that my avoidance was higher.

Avoidance in my everyday life is when I am dealing with a conflict with my romantic partner. I will try to distract the attention to another topic to avoid any conflict. With these changes planning a day of fun to avoiding issue we are having at the time by simply change the topic of subject. My practices in avoidance is negative because “conflict engagement versus conflict avoidance is essential to resolving differences and increasing relationship satisfaction” (Arricale & Pistole, 2003, par. 7).

Competition, my competition score was not great, I ranked myself highest in competition, but I think the fact that being the last child my upbringing makes me focus on my “own concepts, beliefs, and purposes” and view conflict such as “equal to competition” (Tang & Wang, 2006, par) Compromise, I do try to compromise regularly in my life, but somehow I have difficulty when it comes to compromising now as I have grown up it could be because I had to compromise so much in life. I can have communication problems and don’t feel comfortable telling the other person up front so I just compromise. 'we'-users [during a conflict] may have a sense of shared interest that sparks compromises and other ideas” (Aaronson, 2006, par. 1).

Opinion

I do believe that my solid styles are collaboration, and compromise, and accommodation, avoidance and competition are not that strong, however, I would say that did not score very high on my conflict styles, I think I use them more than I should. My conflicts could be better resolved if I found a way to have more balance amongst my conflict styles, and also by simply being more genuinely myself.

Conclusion

During this assessment, I realized that although I have always admired myself when it comes to handling conflict, but I have some of the areas that I still need to work on, like avoidance or accommodation. The conflict assessment only set my opinion, as I did my own scores.

References

1. Aaronson, L. (2006). We can work it out. Psychology Today. Retrieved fromhttp://envoy.lcc.edu:2259/ps/i.do?id=GALE%7CA144403027&v=2.1&u=lo m_lansingcc&it=r&p=AONE&sw=w
2. Arricale, F. & Pistole, C. (2003). Understanding attachment: beliefs about conflict. Journal of Counseling and Development, 81.3. Retrieved fromhttp://envoy.lcc.edu:2259/ps/i.do?id=GALE%7CA106027122&v=2.1&u=lo m_lansingcc&it=r&p=AONE&sw=w
3. Tang, S. & Wang, J. (2006). Interpersonal conflict handling styles: a survey of Chinese collegestudents. Canadian Social Science,2.3. Retrieved fromhttp://envoy.lcc.edu:2259/ps/i.do?id=GALE%7CA208336798&v=2.1&u=lo m_lansingcc&it=r&p=AONE&sw=w
4. Wilmot, W., & Hocker, J. (2011). Interpersonal conflict. New York, NY: McGraw Hill.