Will the Royal Wedding be the Monarchy's last hurrah?

What could be more patriotic, nationalistic, and just plain British than watching two individuals infinitely more wealthy and privileged than you'll ever be tie the knot? You'd think that, short of splicing together the DNA of Winston Churchill, a bulldog, and a Sunday roast and making the resultant monstrosity lose in straight sets to Roger Federer in the semi-finals of Wimbledon, the answer would be 'absolutely nothing'.

But, if a newly-released batch of statistics are to be believed, Brits are thoroughly apathetic about the upcoming Royal nuptials, and no amount of tins of biscuits with the happy couple's faces on can do anything to remedy that.

Figures released by the Office for National Statistics show that fewer than 180 street parties are being planned across the nation, and the latest opinion polls show the majority of people claim to be uninterested in Kate and Wills' big day, and can you blame them?

The British Monarchy in modern world

In today's modern world, the British Monarchy are looking more and more out of touch.

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In 2008, Americans shrugged off decades of social injustice and did something that the pioneers of the Civil Rights Movement could scarcely dream of by electing their first black President, on a platform of hope and change, writing a new page in the history of their country. Meanwhile, here in Blighty, we have the reign of an aging, aloof divorcee who drives around in a soft top Aston Martin converted to run on wine to look forward to.

It's not like the younger Royals are paragons of contemporary Britain, either.

Prince Harry's penchant for turning up to parties dressed as a Nazi officer, and referring to Asian colleagues at Sandhurst as 'Pakis' doesn't really chime with the reality of modern Britain as a diverse, tolerant country. It's surprising, really - all things considered - that there isn't a much larger Republican streak running Britain. In fact, support for the Monarchy has remained consistent ever since the death of Diana, never really faltering.

In a country where people take seriously the decision between voting for middle aged women dancing with a dogs or acne-ridden teenage magic troupes on TV talent shows, the fact that so few people think it'd be a good idea to also have a say in who are Head of State is says a lot about how ingrained the Monarchy is in British culture. But that could all change. It's naive to think that staging a hugely extravagant wedding in the midst of some of the toughest economic times in recent memory, whilst the public foots the bill for the security, will have no impact whatsoever on Brits' perception of the Monarchy.

The fuse of a ticking Republican time bomb

In fact, it could well be an event that lights the fuse of a ticking Republican time bomb. It's hard to imagine that the sight of William and Kate gliding down the Mall in their gilded horse-drawn carriage will inspire affectionate Monarchist feelings in the proletariat, glaring at the TV screen over their Pot Noodle. You shouldn't expect, though, a French-style, blood-running-in-the-streets, guillotine-riddled execution.

In the extremely unlikely event that we do, as a country, decide to rise up against the Monarchy, we'll almost certainly do so in a very polite way, perhaps notifying the Queen of her eviction from Buckingham Palace via telegraph. We'd probably even let her keep her corgis, we're so bloody nice. Or, more likely, we'll allow ourselves to be bribed by the extra day off, forget all about storming the Bastille and come to associate said free day off with William and Kate, searing the idea that they're good people onto our brains forever. It's probably for the best, really. Commentary

My AS production piece was written in the style of a column in a quality newspaper, such as the Guardian or the Independent. I tried to emulate the style of columnists such as Charlie Brooker and Hadley Freeman, both of whom use sarcastic, subversive, and sometimes bizarre humour in their writing. The audience, therefore, of my production piece, would be young people, aged around 16 - 30, and perhaps culturally and politically liberal, considering the positions of both newspapers. In the run up to the Royal Wedding, the media has been filled with hype surrounded the big day, and claims about huge viewing figures and massive public interest.

The Royal Wedding in the media

The media also often uses language to represent the Royals in a positive light. I wanted to challenge this representation, and instead represent the wedding as an event people were not interested in, and one that would turn them against the Monarchy. I began my piece with a rhetorical question, the answer to which I intended to be humourous. I did this to set the tone of the piece, and to show that I was using satire to represent the Monarchy as an institution that people don't identify with.

The use of statistics, such as the '180 street parties' was meant to further my attempt to represent the Royal Wedding as an event that the majority of people are apathetic about. I juxtaposed the glitzy election of Barack Obama in 2008, when Americans were filled with hope after opening a new chapter in their history, with Britain waiting for Prince Charles to take to the throne. The contrast between the two heads of state and the two systems was supposed to highlight how outdated the Monarchy is compared to other systems around the world.

I used the metaphor of lighting "the fuse of a ticking time bomb" to describe how the Royal Wedding will perhaps make the public - who are suffering due to government cuts and the economic downturn - more Republican, on the whole. Throughout the article, I try to humorously emphasise how the public are living in tough times compared to how the Royals are living. I inserted, for example, the subordinate clause "glaring at the TV screen over their Pot Noodle" to compound the act that the public are going through tough times, whilst the Royals, at the same time, are having an extravagant wedding.