The Bridge Between Love And Arranged, Semi-arranged Marriage

Occurrence of semi-arranged marriages are increasing since people are getting more educated, especially, the females can share their opinion with their parents or parents are becoming more aware that marrying someone only by looking at the family does not guarantee that the chosen spouse is as desired. The first reason why I prefer semi-arrange is that the male and female can meet before the wedding which helps them understand whether they are compatible or not. For example, in an article “The semi-arranged marriages!” (2009), the author wrote about how meeting before marriage helps to know whether both bride and groom are compatible for each other or the groom is just how the bride wants him to be (vice versa).

Moreover, in another article by Gardiner Harris (2015) in New York Times, he shared how a matrimonial site helped Ms Pant find a suitable groom for herself and how she emailed him and met him. After their first meet, they decided to let their family know that they want to marry each other and as both sides agreed they were happily married.

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Although, it is quite unusual to see how the parents were not the ones who proposed the wedding, but its occurrence is increasing due to increase in matrimonial sites, said Harris. This brings to my next reason is that family plays a supporting role in semi-arranged marriages.

Unlike love marriage, where most parents do not agree or support due to the economic or religious status of the chosen one or arranged marriages, where the family makes their decision entirely based on the family of the bride or groom.

For instance, in an article “Swipe Right for Matrimony: The Evolution of Indian Arranged Marriage” written by Nandita Raghuram (2015), the writer wrote about how her cousin was matched with a girl and then they met for a year and then got hitched. Here, the family introduced the male to the female then both sides met for some good amount of time before getting married which means they were very much known to each other before marriage. Their families are involved from the beginning, so the chances of divorce will be low since the couple can talk to their respected parents and solve any issues whereas in love marriages, the couple may not be able to share their problems with their parents since they will think that they married on their own so they should take their own responsibility, Bharsha Nag Bhowmik (2017) wrote in The Times of India. Finally, it will not be an unhappy marriage.

For instance, love is not what couples look for in a semi-arrange marriage, it is comfort and friendliness that helps build a marriage, Harris (2015) wrote in his article when he interview a married couple. Moreover, another article “Love is not all you need in a marriage” by Tim Lott (2013) included how trust and respect are important to last a marriage. One can always build love, respect and trust before and after marriage if he/ she gets married without any pressure or second thoughts.

The bridge between love and arranged, semi-arranged marriage might just be the new norm as one in four marriages are now semi-arranged. Nowadays, people do not get married without barely knowing each other or even seeing each other, at least not in urban areas. Although many thinks that love marriages are safer since you know the person and know what to expect in the marriage, but then again around 55% of love marriages end up in divorce, Suzan Talo wrote in her article “arrange marriage vs love marriage” which included statistics from UNICEF, Human Rights Council. So, if love is the most important element that keeps a marriage going, why is the global divorce rate of love marriage so high? Also, having a low divorce rate, arranged marriage is not always the best since many couples unwantedly stay together due to family pressure. Regardless, any types of marriage will always have its pros and cons, but that does not mean that no marriages are successful. There are marriages which take place only after consent from the bride and groom and in my opinion, these are the ones that are the safest type of courtship: the semi-arranged agreement.