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Having traveled extensively since birth, a result of her father’s military career and perhaps a hint of wanderlust in her bloodline, Gretel Ehrlich’s narrative in “About Men” struck a chord with me. I identified with her yearning for familiar landscapes and the sense of comfort she sought in new surroundings, much like her quest on the New York Subway for images of Cowboys. In her own words, “What I am aching to see is horseflesh, a glint of spur, a line of distant mountains, brimming creeks, and a reminder of the ranchers and cowboys I’ve ridden with for the last eight years” (Ehrlich, 1985).
On the other hand, Joan Didion’s portrayal of a woman who spends much time at “home” paints a picture of someone discontent with their current existence. The concept of home holds different meanings for each individual, as it is a deeply personal and subjective experience that only we can truly understand - whether it brings joy or sorrow.
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In these stories, each woman interprets “home” in her own way, although they share a common thread of loneliness as they navigate through life in the places they now must call home.
Greta, despite not being born on a ranch, felt such a strong connection to ranch life that she lived among cowboys for eight years. This kinship led her to write about cowboys passionately, as she sought to challenge stereotypes and misconceptions. Greta's dedication to defending the cowboy's character is reminiscent of a protective older sibling standing up to bullies.
In her words, "Such ideas have perverted manliness into a self-absorbed race for cheap thrills" (Ehrlich, 1985, p. 83), her offense at society's portrayal of cowboys is evident. Joan Didion also reflects on the emotional ties to her origins, stating, "And the nameless anxiety colored the emotional charges between me and the place that I came from" (Didion, 1967).
Joan is conflicted as she tries to create a "home" for her daughter similar to the one she had with her parents, while longing to return to her parents' home where she was happy. Living with her husband and daughter, she feels lost and homesick despite her age. In Joan's narrative, readers must interpret her ambiguous statements, such as when she mentions being tired of her parent's dusty house. It appears that Joan struggles with her identity and adjusting to her own home, as she feels a strong pull towards her parents' home. Even her husband senses this disconnect, as Joan acknowledges, "My husband likes my family but is uneasy in their house, because once there I fall into their ways, which are difficult, oblique, deliberately inarticulate, not my husband's ways" (Didion, 1967).
Joan feels confined in her parents' home despite having moved out long ago. She reflects on providing a nurturing environment for her baby and wonders about her capabilities as a mother. Many parents can empathize with these feelings of self-doubt and curiosity, creating a connection to Joan's narrative. Feeling immobilized by confronting her past at every turn in her childhood home, Joan moves aimlessly from room to room. Although she doesn't mention abuse or trauma, it's clear that Joan is grappling with the impact of her upbringing on her adult life.
The negativity surrounding Joan's description of "home," using words like "paralyzed, aimlessly, neurotic," has me questioning why. Gretel, who resides away from the ranch but yearns to go back, searches for comfort by looking for Marlboro ads in the subway when feeling lonely for Wyoming (Ehrlich, 1985, p. 82). Unlike Joan, who misses a small family unit, Gretel considers a lifestyle her "home," portraying men with physical strength and unwavering dedication. She depicts their work being mainly done on horseback, developing a deep connection with animals over people throughout their lifetime (Ehrlich, 1985, p. 83).
In her writing, Gretel Ehrlich characterizes the Cowboy as having both toughness and interior fragility, challenging society's portrayal of them as emotionless and rugged. For Joan, "home" was defined by hallways, rooms, and dust on old furniture, while for Gretel, it was represented by the western sky, cattle herds, and people with kind hearts. Gretel's focus on the Cowboy's struggles contrasts with Joan's preoccupation with finding her place away from her parents' home. She constructs her own interpretation of the Cowboy based on her experiences on a Wyoming ranch, emphasizing the geographical vastness and social isolation that make them enigmatic and difficult to love. Gretel suggests that Cowboys struggle to articulate their emotions, leading her to become their voice, portraying them as both reserved and passionate individuals.
It appears contradictory - maybe she is also still figuring things out. Does Joan truly long for her parents and their old, dusty home, or is she just discontent with her new marriage and new house? Could it be easier to regress rather than progress, in an attempt to avoid taking on any responsibilities? When Joan says, "There is nothing like seeing a thing you know was meaningful to you once and is now empty and wondering" (Didion, 1967) - what was the point of it all? I can't help but ponder.
The woman with her own child is focusing on past emotions instead of creating new memories with her new family, which is frustrating for me. I had a difficult upbringing without a stable home and got married early to escape my parents' constant strife. It seems pointless to keep revisiting those days and yearning for them. My mother was often drunk and my father was violent towards her, so I am grateful for the positive life I have built and am committed to breaking the cycle of abuse, neglect, and addiction.
Joan may have needed a reason to move forward and discover new aspects of herself. Perhaps Gretel saw a reflection of herself in the ranches of the western United States - a mix of history and modernity, reality and perception. These accounts are considered Non-Fiction because the women shared their own personal experiences. Gretel described the large lambing sheds in vivid detail, while also providing historical context by mentioning the Southern men seeking new opportunities in the West after the Civil War (Ehrlich, 1985, p. 84). Joan's recounting of her visit home is so vivid it feels as if it is happening in the present moment. Each writer's description allows me to immerse myself in their stories - Gretel in the untamed Wild West and Joan in the contrasting landscapes of the East and California. I can easily imagine myself riding a horse, tending to cattle, and cradling baby lambs as Gretel's narrative unfolds across the expansive plains.
Similar to how I am transported to Joan’s childhood home, walking through the halls, breathing in the musty air, and peeking into cupboards filled with old plates and bowls, the author’s vivid imagery creates an engaging reading experience. I can picture Joan’s feelings of confusion as she compares her childhood home to her current one, as she states, “It is a vital although troublesome distinction” (Didion, 1967, p. 164). By trying to articulate the contrast between the two homes, she establishes a sense of unease.
She easily brings me to her parents' home while mentioning the "Canton dessert plates and assay scales" (Didion, 1967, p. 164), which I struggle to relate to due to our differing life experiences. However, I do understand her desire to create a home for her daughter on her birthday, the reason for her return. In her writing, she expresses, "She is an open and trusting child, unprepared for and unaccustomed to the ambushes of family life, and perhaps it is just as well that I can offer her little of that life. I would like to give her more" (Didion, 1967, p. 167), a sentiment I have echoed about my own children.
Conclusively, I found both of these narratives to be highly compelling and enjoyable to read. The women in both stories exhibit a profound passion for their relationships and a strong desire to express themselves and protect those dear to them. Being from Wyoming, Gretel’s tale struck a chord with me, as I share her love for the Old West, its stunning landscapes, and the Cowboy Code. When feeling homesick for Wyoming while living in a small beach town in Maryland, I too seek out traces of the Western charm in the surroundings – whether it be in a billboard, a sign, or the friendly smile of a stranger. Like Gretel rightly puts it, “their strength is also a softness, their toughness, a rare delicacy” (Ehrlich, 1985, p. 85). In my own words, I can attest to the truth of this delicate balance.
The Meaning of Home: A Tale of Two Women's Journeys. (2017, May 24). Retrieved from https://studymoose.com/reaction-paper-non-fiction-essay
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