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I had never thought of the manner in which my parents raised me until I came to know of the two approaches of parenting. It is then that I realized the difference between natural growth and concerted cultivation and the inequality that both bring to people’s childhoods. To start with my parents’ childhoods are different in that my mother had a natural growth childhood while my dad had a concerted cultivation childhood. My mother grew up in a family of two siblings and they lives in a small apartment if New York.
Many of her friends lived in big houses and they were wealthier than them. My mother’s parents were poor and at the age of 16, she had to help them work so that they could sustain the family. My mother recalls that the only form of fun she had was hanging out with some of her friends to play sand balls at the beach. Her childhood was unfortunate and her parents could not afford to buy her toys to play with.
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I remember my mother saying that she never had a chance to go for vacations while all her friends went. All the money that the family raised would go in educating my mother and her siblings.
My dad on the other hand was raised in a well off family with wealthy parents. They had a big house and three cars which mean they were not a struggling bunch in the society. His life was much easier compared to my mother’s.
His parents brought him up with a lot of money but my father had persistently worked to have things he could call his. His parents were a bit tough on him and even after campus they still believed he was a child and they could not allow him to make decisions of his own. My dad worked hard and acquired a nice job that enabled him to own a car and a house. At this point, his parents were convinced that he could make guided decisions. The reason for giving the brief history of my parent’s is to cut clear the difference between natural growth that my mother passed through and the concerted cultivation that my dad grew up with.
After my parents married, that is where I come in. my childhood is one of a concerted cultivation with a lot of activities scheduled for me. I hated most of those activities and also enjoyed some of them. I remember vividly having to attend piano lessons, tennis, and swimming lessons just to mention a few. These activities overwhelmed me and I never had time to do what I wanted with my life. I had an average of 10-14 activities a week which was stressful but my parents pushed hard for that. They would even drive me to the respective places and pick me up when they felt that I had spent enough time performing. Although I loved tennis and little league, some activities like piano lesson did not matter much to me but I did not have a choice. My parents would insist on all of them and I had to do what they said.
What bothered me was why my parents would schedule many activities which were stressful for me. There definitely had to be reasons for that and I only came to understand it all after reading about both natural growth and concerted cultivation. I am proud that I am a better person today who can manage time better and solve problems with much intellect. It is not that people who are raise through natural growth are bad but concerted cultivation really helped me to understand the world better It is only today that I can be thankful to my parents for a good up bringing that I could not understand when I was younger. I have lived a life of concerted cultivation with many luxuries in my childhood that I perceived to be stressful while others could not afford them. My parents definitely did everything they could to nature me in a holistic way and they had a lot of time for me which is why my childhood was more inclined to concerted cultivation than natural growth.
Parenting Style Of My Parents. (2024, Feb 02). Retrieved from https://studymoose.com/parenting-style-of-my-parents-essay
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