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I fell in love for the first time when I was still finding myself. I was young and reckless just eager to take off after high school. I had absolutely no clue how love would’ve changed me at that time. It was very enthusiastic, but also somewhat a frightening experience that I imagine would never end, but it did. It’s unfortunate that love doesn’t last forever. Since then no matter how many people I’ve loved or how many dates I’ve been on, my first love has and will always affect me to this day.
She was someone in my life that helped me see the bigger picture that led me to the right path I needed to travel.
Even if I wasn’t take the right path she would’ve still stayed right next to me. She always seemed to be right about everything, but never held it against me when I was wrong. My first love affected me so tremendously that without even being in my life, I knew I would be a changed person.
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Proficient in: Incident That Changed My Life
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“ Amazing as always, gave her a week to finish a big assignment and came through way ahead of time. ”
Which I am. She was much more than my love or my girlfriend. She was my best friend before it all, the one person who had influenced and inspired me the most. Her beliefs and positive attitude towards life were contagious. I would get lost in her astonishing big brown sparkling eyes every time I looked at her. Everywhere she went, there would be laughter and happiness spreading out like some sort of wonderful infection or virus-like.
She was always in a great mood, always had something pleasant to say, and no matter what was going on, she could always get me to smile back.
Throughout the relationship, I learned who I was as an individual. Over time I grew up and I had this vision of who I saw myself as, but when someone else loves you, it makes you see yourself through their point of view. It’s not the same as getting a flattering remark from my mother or having the support of my brothers. My first love didn’t owe me anything. She didn’t even have to love me back. But, In some magical way, she did. I found it attractive how she admired me for who she saw me as. I was a good friend with a good heart. I wanted to make her as happy as she made me.
I pray I never find someone I love as much as I had loved her. I say that because the affection I had for her was too much for me. My emotions went in every direction it could possibly go. The love was passionate, solid hard, strong, and raw. Over time it became too overwhelming. My feelings weren’t controllable anymore. She was the first thing I thought about every morning and the last thing I thought about at night. I felt insufficient when I wasn’t near her. She was my other half, and what I interpreted was the best part of myself. She made me mentally deranged and emotional. Our entire time together was a roller coaster of missing her, loving her, hating her, and needing her. I prayed to God I never ever felt that way again.
It's been two years now since this experience changed my life and it is something that I will cherish for the rest of my days. I found that kind of love young and I loved every minute of being in it. Even when we were fighting and I hated her, I loved her. That kind of pain and hurt mixed in with such passionate love was too much for me. It was too much for my heart to hold onto and when we both decided to leave, I didn’t understand how the world would keep turning. Just so happens one day I woke up and the ache in my chest stopped hurting. All the shattered pieces of my heart seemed to be put back together. That’s when I became fully aware I didn’t need that kind of love or that kind of life. It’s not that I don’t want to fall in love again. I can’t wait to fall in love again, but I hope and pray it is a very different kind of love.
My ex taught me more about love and life than she will ever know. After the separation occurred plenty of my family and friends remind me that she would never find someone who loved her quite as I did. Despite them saying this to make me feel better, I also hope the same is true for her, too. We were young and naive and in love, but it was the wrong kind of love. It was a once-in-a-lifetime kind of love for both of us, and I hope one day we both find someone or something better, something more like a whole kind of love.
My First and Last Love That Changed My Life. (2021, Dec 20). Retrieved from https://studymoose.com/my-first-and-last-love-that-changed-my-life-essay
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