My Favorite Place: Home

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My home is a place where one would expect such pleasure and enjoyment. This could be experienced as one would enter the front door of the home. As one enters, you would start to hear the sound of Disney XD shows such as Good Luck Charley or Ant Farm. Every television in the home will be turned up extremely loud with some type of kid show. It is then that one will understand and know, my home is occupied by children who may be under the age of 15.

The first thing that could be observed at my home is the collection of super hero action figures that is occupying the right corner of the great room.

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The hardwood floor of the great room is covered with super hero action figures which include Superman, Spiderman, Green Lantern, The Hulk and Batman. For each super hero action figure, the corner also includes a Bat cave for Batman, a Warehouse for Spiderman, a Nuclear Plant for the Hulk, and a mobile vehicle for Superman, just to name a few.

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Also in the great room, there is a large television sitting inside a cherry wood entertainment center.

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This flat screen television is normally on Comcast channel 68, Disney channel. On top of the entertainment center are trophies for softball and basketball of my 9 year old daughter. This collection displays all the first and second place trophies that he has been earning since the age of three. There is also a very large trophy that includes a beautiful queen on top of it and a very large tiara wrapped around it.

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This is the trophy and tiara that my 9 year old earned when she won her first Little Miss Byhalia Beauty Pageant at age 5. This room also include a tan and brown sofa and love seat with red pillows that makes sitting in the great room while the fire place is burning, very cozy.

To the left of the great room, one can admire the large open kitchen area. There are all black appliances in this area with oak cabinets. The cabinets are arranged in an "L" shape that makes moving around this room very easy. The kitchen and dinning area are attached and it includes a bay window that makes eating on those sunny mornings a great site for enjoying the beautiful outsides. The oak diner table matches the cabinets and is accessorized with red table decor.

To the right of the great room is a hall leading to two bedrooms and a bathroom room. This hallway is complete with hard wood flooring that shines as the large window allows the sunlight to shine through. Bedroom number one is covered with posters of teen groups such as One Direction and Mindless behavior. The white twin bed bedroom set is full of bright colors such as pink, green, red and yellow. The closet door is usually open to display the array of clothes that are only worn by teens. Bedroom number two includes a steel bunk bed set with Dallas Cowboys stars displayed throughout the entire room. This room also includes more Super hero action figures, remote control cars, a scooter and a number of cars and trucks that would make any little 4 year old boy excited.

The last room to explore is that room attached to the back of the great room. This room is the master suite that includes a huge queen size bed with huge posts. The cherry wood color combines well with the gold and burgundy comforter set. The gold and burgundy color continues on to the masters suite bathroom that has a huge Jacuzzi tub to the left end of the bath and a walk in shower to the right. Also the Jack and Jill vanity makes it easy for both my wife and me to be there at the same time.

My home is really my favorite place to be. The sounds of the different kids shows that are constantly on one of four televisions at all time. The smell of lavender from air fresheners and Gain's laundry detergent and the site of my family relaxing on either the couch or one of the beds really makes each day here in it worth every second.

Essay's Scoring Result:

Expert's Assessment

The essay provides a vivid portrayal of the author's home, emphasizing the presence of children and their interests. The descriptions of rooms, from the superhero collection to the master suite, create a detailed picture. However, there are areas where sentence structure and clarity could be enhanced for a smoother reading experience. The use of specific details, such as the daughter's achievements and the room decorations, adds depth. Overall, the essay effectively captures the unique atmosphere of the author's home, but attention to sentence composition and flow would enhance its impact.

How can you enhance this essay?

Consider improving sentence structure for a smoother flow and clarity. Simplify complex sentences and avoid unnecessary repetition, enhancing overall readability. Provide more varied descriptions to avoid redundancy, especially in detailing the superhero collection. Additionally, ensure consistent use of pronouns for clarity in identifying the family members. Focus on transitioning between paragraphs to create a cohesive narrative. Lastly, check for grammatical accuracy, including subject-verb agreement and pronoun consistency. These adjustments will enhance the essay's coherence and engagement.