Memorable Vacation

Categories: Vacation Time

Essay, Pages 3 (615 words)

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Vacations are the time when everybody enjoys. Some went to their families, children went to their grandmother home, students went home from hostels stay with their families and enjoys. Despite of these normal vacation, there are some vacation which a man can never forgot. These vacations are special because u went to trip with your families or friends and made wonderful memories which u can never forgot. You keep these memories through rest of your lives.

Same thing happened to me.

I had many vacations.

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But the one which I never forgot was trip to Northern areas of my country which is known for their beauty. I made most memorable memories of my life that imprinted on my brain and I never forgot them.

It was Feb-12-2018, me and my family planned to trip Kel which is in northern area and around about 14-hour drive from my city. We planned to leave early in the morning. I could not sleep the whole night waiting for sunrise.

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At last it was dawn and we left house. The weather was cold. I can saw the sunrising from the east. It was beautiful and worth seeing. I can't take off my eyes from it.

Soon it was morning. The birds were flying in the sky. We stopped in Islamabad for breakfast. It was 8:00A.M. After eating breakfast and taking rest, we continued our journey. Now our journey started in mountain area. The road was quite good. Infact, it was highway.

After crossing the salt range, I can saw the beauty of mountains.

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It was beautiful. We continued to drive.

Our first stop was at Sharda which is halfway to Kel but unfortunately, we can't made it. Because we forgot the way and reached Muzaffarabad which is at other side of Sharda and mountain. It was night. We all were tired. So, we stayed in Muzaffarabad. Next day we started our journey again. Because we have to cover too much distance as we were behind from our schedule. So, we drove like hell in the mountain.

We reached Sharda in the evening. And we came to known that there is snowfall in Sharda tomorrow. So, we changed our plan and stayed there. In the morning the snowfall started, the snow was dripping from clouds like water dripping from tap. The wind stopped and it was quiet. It looked like someone attacked them. I enjoyed by making snow clones, playing snowball fight.

It was fun. I don't want to leave. But my brother didn't agree. So, we started our journey once again to Kel which was 5-hour mountain drive from Sharda. We saw many natural fountains on the way and we stopped at one or two took some photograph and continued. At last we reached Kel. By the luck there was snow falling too. At that time, I felt like happiest person on earth. We booked a room in hotel.

After that we went for hiking in the snow. The hiking path was slippery due to snow. We have lots of fun there. We made photographs and came back to hotel. The Kel consist of most worth-seeing scenery. So, next day we went there and took photograph. We stayed in Kel for one week after that we came home.

I don't want to leave Kel. But I cannot stay there because my vacation was going to over. I was sad on the way back because it was very difficult to go there again. But I was happy at the same time because I made such memories which I never forgot my whole life.

References

https://theplanetd.com/things-to-do-in-pakistan/
https://www.lonelyplanet.com/pakistan

Essay's Scoring Result:

Expert's Assessment

The essay recounts a trip to the Northern areas, vividly describing the journey and experiences. However, it lacks clarity in expression and suffers from frequent grammatical errors, affecting overall readability. The narrative structure is somewhat disjointed, making it challenging to follow the chronological events seamlessly. While the author effectively captures the beauty of the landscape and the joy of the trip, improvement in sentence composition and grammatical precision would enhance the essay's coherence and impact.

How can you enhance this essay?

The essay can be improved by enhancing sentence structure and grammar for better clarity. Begin by ensuring proper tense consistency and avoiding colloquial expressions like "like hell." Additionally, use correct prepositions and articles to improve overall fluency. Pay attention to punctuation and capitalize 'I' consistently. Incorporate more descriptive language to vividly portray experiences and consider organizing the narrative chronologically for smoother flow. Finally, proofread to eliminate spelling errors and typos.