This is Marilyn. I know you must be very upset with me for disappearing without letting anyone know. I had to go to meet Gerry. I could not have waited another year in order to meet him. It has already been 10 years that we have not seen him. All we received from him was money. I thought because there was plenty of room for me in the spaceship to Mimir, I might just take the chance to go meet him now instead of waiting for a year.
I was ready to pay the fine. I knew I would be breaking some kind of regulation. There was a sign on the door also that warned me to keep out. It was an unauthorised personnel. When the EDS pilot found me, he was shocked to see me on the spaceship. He asked me the reason for which I came on the EDS. I told him that I wanted to go see my brother in Woden.
After listening to me, the EDS pilot, Barton, tried to help me. Barton made the spaceship go faster by cutting the deceleration to a fraction of gravity, in order to save fuel for a little bit. I insisted to him that I was willing to pay the fine and I could do things and chores in order to help them. Even though Barton tried to help me, he knew that he had to let the commander know because it was his duty to do so. The commander was shocked to know that I was still on board.
He reminded Barton that there was limited supply of fuel and that there is a law that states any stowaway discovered in an EDS shall be jettisoned immediately following the discovery. Barton told the commander that the stowaway was a girl but the commander could not do anything to help because many lives depended on the cruiser, not just mine. I was frightened at the time when the commander said that Barton had to go through with the procedure of making me leave the spaceship to die. Barton was obliged to make me leave the spaceship because it has to be that way and no human in the universe can change it. I insisted that I did not do anything that was so wrong that I had to die and my main motive was just to go and see Gerry. I asked him why everybody insisted on me getting off the ship. I even screamed it. Then, he told me the reason that it was because the spaceship was carrying the ala fever serum to the six men that are in group one. They will die if the ship does not reach them on scheduled time. That was when I had realized the two choices that there were.
The first choice was me dying alone and the second choice was me dying and taking the seven other people along with me including Barton and the six people in group one. There was also no other cruisers that could help. Barton told me that I would have to go when deceleration began; it could be no other way. Barton still tried to get me some extra time to stay on the spaceship. He asked the commander about the time I had leftover and commander that Barton had violated some laws, but still tried to help me not worry about the laws. Commander stated that I had until 19:20 to live and then I had to be sacrificed in order to save those six people and Barton. I realized at that point that when I hid on this ship I got into something I didn’t know anything about and now I have to pay for it. I had broken the law of entering an unauthorized personnel area but the penalty was something that could not be revoked. I realized that I was going to die even though my motive was just to meet my brother. Motives were irrelevant and it was what Barton and the commander had to do. Barton did what he morally ought to do which was to let me off of the ship and do the action that brought about the greatest good for the greatest number of people. He had to the action that minimizes violation which was to sacrifice me. Barton tried to reach Gerry because I wanted to talk to him before I died and he also gave me the supplies needed in order to send a letter to you mom and dad. Barton tried to reach Gerry but could not reach him and left him the message instead. He also told the person in charge to get Gerry on the line as soon as possible. Barton promised to keep the letters that I wrote with him and the next spaceship shall deliver them. It was almost 18:45 by the time I finished those letters. I remembered how I had everybody with me mom, dad, Gerry, and all my other friends. I had never felt so alone.
I tried to explain that I was innocent and just got on to meet Gerry. Barton stated that even if I was innocent, I would still have to die. There just was not enough gas on the spacecraft. The spaceship was only suitable for one person and having any extra weight on it will lead it to crash. Barton had an obligation to kill anyone that was on the spacecraft illegally. Even if he did not have that obligation, I would still die because of a lack of gas in the spacecraft. I even insisted on my rights and asked for the time I deserved. It did not change anything. It still led to my death. In the end, none of these changed the circumstances that led to me dying. Everyone did what they morally had to do but my only choices were me dying or me and six other people dying.
All I wanted to do was meet Gerry. I got on the wrong spaceship to meet Gerry. I wished it had not happened this way. Everyone tried to help me. There was nothing that could change the circumstances. Either I had to die alone or take six other people with me. I know that you are mad at me and probably Barton too, for just letting me die. I should not have been the spaceship. I came to meet Gerry because it had been a long while from when we last saw him. I just could not wait. Barton, as a pilot, tried to do everything possible to help me. He talked to the captain and even told him my situation and got me these two extra hours to write to you. He did everything that he could. In the end, it was just what he had to do because otherwise, the other six people would die with me.