Some people may think that age matters in relationship while others say that relationships work best when the male is older, but I do not agree with either ideology. I used to believe that age matters in a relationship but after personally going through an experience that counteracted those beliefs, I finally believed. When my cousin, Mojgun, met the love of their life no one, including myself, ever believed that the relationship would work, especially since she was five years older than him.
Usually in the Persian culture, the man is supposed to be older than the female, always, and when that isn’t the case, there is not much hope for the relationship. After being together for six years, they finally married, and now she is expecting their second child, and they are happier than they could ever be. With that, age doesn’t matter in a relationship because it all depends on the individual’s ideals, culture, and what their goal is in that relationship or that point in their life what they’re looking for.
Age doesn’t matter in a relationship; as long as they both are mature and they have a same goal in their life and they care about each other. A relationship is like a boat in the ocean if they don’t know where they’re heading too and if they can’t work together, they never can land the boat. The only thing that matters the most in a relationship is the love between couples.
If you are in a relationship with a person that takes advantage of you or abuses you, it makes no difference what your situation or age is they will do that no matter what the age is. An example of that is one of my mom’s childhood friends married a man two years younger than here, and since they have been together he has been abusive to her ever since. It has not gotten any better, in fact it has gotten worse, because now she is use to it and thinks that’s what love is. No matter what people try to do, including my mom intervening, she always goes back to him because that’s how her brain is trained now. That’s what she grew up with, especially with her relationship, and that’s what she is accustomed to.
The relationship obviously is not healthy because they both don’t have the same goals in that relationship, which should be including treating each other with respect, not degrading each other. No matter what the age, if she was younger or older, her husband is the type of person who is abusive, and age would not fix any of it. It would remain the same because that’s how his personality is. Perhaps, if he was actually loving, and really treated her with respect, she would know what real love is, but she does not, and it is sad to see her live with that, thinking that deep down it is love. Love should not hurt, and in her case that’s all she feels on a constant basis from him. Through this example, it clearly shows that age does not take a toll on the end result or on what’s occurring between my mother’s friend and her husband. No matter what the age, everything will still stay the same, and eventually as time passes by things will get worse and worse, as sad as that is. When people have the same goals on the other hand, like for example, wanting to settle down and have children, relationships are more likely to be successful.
When couples have the same goals at the time of meeting or starting a relationship, it plays really vital to the success of that relationship. If one likes to go out and party, and the other does not there is always going to be that friction between them because one is doing something the other does not approve of, and so forth. Regardless of the age, there is always going to be that friction. On the other hand, if both like to stay at home, dine in, and share the same interests it really doesn’t matter what age they are because they share the same interests or common goals. When couples have the same long-term goals in mind, such as having kids or settling down getting married, they will do whatever they have to do to complete that end goal, and both do that to make sure it happens. For example, if a man is not looking to settle down, while the woman is, there is always going to be friction, and most likely that relationship is not going to work out.
In my own experience, even though I am only twenty two years old, I have had relationships where girls wanted to become something more serious than I could handle, and I just was not ready for that. As a result it caused a lot of road blocks because we did not see eye to eye on what was going on with the relationship and where it was going, therefore me having to break up with her because it’s not a common goal we shared. I did not plan on marrying her or being in a committed relationship where I knew I wanted to marry her, I just was not ready. Regardless of age, if one is ready to settle, when the other is not, the relationship is most likely not going to work, because it’s in their mentality, the personality, whether they want to settle down at that point in time or in their life. Anyone could make an argument that if someone was older or younger, it could have an impact, but in the end, it all depends on the individual and age doesn’t necessarily mean that your outlook, personality, or opinions change.
As one gets older, you can argue that their opinions become more solidified, and they become more stable with who they are, and what they want in life. Primarily in the Persian culture, women are always treated with the utmost respect. It does not matter how old each partner is in the relationship, because there is always the basic foundation of treating each other with respect, especially Persian men with Persian women. They are like a team, and no matter what, they will do what they have to do to win the game (life), side by side.
When a couple sees eye to eye, it does not matter how old they are, it matters that they understand each other, and want their relationship to work. Relationships work if you take the time to get to the know the person you are going to be with. If they don’t share the same ideals, culture beliefs, or goals in life, most likely the relationship is not going to work. It all depends on the type of individuals that are paired together and whether there is chemistry and that drive to make it work, otherwise it’s an uphill battle. When couples who are together share the same interests, goals in life, and beliefs, there’s a higher probability that their relationship will work, regardless of their age.