An Open Letter Of Regret

Oh regret, I remember the days, I refused. I refused to change myself. Refused to correct my wrongs to right. Refused to believe the impossible to be possible. Refused to turn my laziness into willingness. Refused to swallow my pride and just to abide. Refused to stand for what is right. Remembering the days, that I am so scared, so scared to change my habits. So scared to follow my dreams. So scared to achieve my goals. So scared to take a risk to fight for my love.

Oh Regret, you are like a forever nightmare that runs every single nerves on my brain every day. It’s just a six letter word that has a single meaning, but it feels like a millions of feelings. I ask you a question before, How, What, What if? What if, something that I need the most, might be something I turn away from. What if, something I turn away from might be something I regret, and what if, something I regret in the end, will hurt me the most.

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I always jump into conclusions, rather than having a solutions. I always ask questions rather than searching for answers. A lot of mistakes and wrong decisions I made. You gave me a lot of heart ache and pain inside. When my life is like a museum of disappointments, hanging from events that were outside of my control, you gave me this mental block of thinking “I need to get over this rather than, get through it”.

And when I try to get over something I don’t necessarily give myself time and the energy, and the care to express how I really felt and allow myself an outlet to just let go and accept the fact that I’m weak. I guess this pain and regrets could’ve been worse if I don’t change. I had only one, only one ticket to change my life and that’s the point of view I realize that regret is painful, change is painful that day, that moment that I am so down, so drain and the only two options I have right now are regret or change and they both hurt, but change hurts less. Now you let me answer my questions. All this time you gave me the answers to all the questions I asked you. That’s the time I recognize that when I choose to change, choose to look forward, choose to let go of that regret, choose to follow my dreams, choose to stand for what is right, choose to fight and risk my life just to be with someone I love that regrets will not serve us, time is running out that.

Six letter word of “REGRET” reminds me that I’m still alive. I’m still alive. My heart beats approximately 4000 times per hour each pulse, each throb, each palpitation is like a trophy engraved with the words, “I’m still alive I can still rewrite my future I can still change”. I can still change. In the end we only regret, the chances we didn’t take. Don’t wait for tomorrow to do what you can do, time is running out. So change.

Works cited

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