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Relationships took time to develop. It was necessary for an entire family introduction and approval for two young people with intentions of dating. Initially, constant supervision was the normal course of action when spending time together, including being chaperoned on all outings. There seemed to be more effort to build relationships and effort to make them work. Couples spent time together getting to know one another and a fellow considering proposal would indeed ask a father’s permission for his daughters hand in marriage and await his blessing.
Marriage vows were adhered to as though set in stone, “For better or worse; richer or poorer; until death do us part.” Those words really meant something. With more tolerance of and forgiveness for each other and less consideration of divorce, the idea of marriage seemed to be a solid commitment. During those times of moral and social ethics it was rarely considered to live together or engage in pre-marital sex. Times have certainly changed as well as moral and social values and with that kind of change comes the need to know who an individual really is.
This can be accomplished by living together prior to marriage.
Today people lead more hurried lives that involve decreasing values and increasing financial burdens. The pressures and stresses of coping with these burdens weigh heavily on a persons attitude and perspective. These pressures and stresses are brought home each day into the family unit. Because divorce rates are so high it has become imperative for two people in a relationship to consider living together before to marriage to help insure success.
It seems as though at the beginning of some relationships people are on their best behavior, trying to make a good impression; score points with the other person. It is only down the road when the comfort zone sets in that an individual’s true personality surfaces. That is when authentic attitudes and behaviors are unveiled.
Families living in this world are faced with economic instability and the cost of living continually on the rise the family unit cannot help but feel the pressure. With the increasing necessity for the woman to work outside the home family time becomes limited. Both partners working lessens the time families have to fit in responsibilities such as shopping, cleaning, getting the kids to extra curricular activities, and just spending quality family time together.
Trying to squeeze in daily responsibilities such as cooking dinner and getting Johnny to baseball practice can lead to getting behind and running late which can lead to hurrying, which can lead to impatience and irritability. This reflects heavily on the family unit. These are real attitudes and personalities that must be recognized and then tolerated by or compromised with the significant other.
It is difficult to comprehend the real pressures and stresses of being in a marriage unless individuals are placed in that kind of realistic marriage setting and married life is put into play. Here the true personalities are at hand. Only after witnessing a person’s authentic personality should a decision be made regarding whether the relationship is a healthy, happy one. The way individuals react to situations when pursuing someone is typically different from the way a person reacts after time has been spent in the relationship and a comfort zone has been established.
It is true that some people cope with the day-to-day pressures and stresses of society by leading more hurried lives. This sometimes results in decreasing values and increasing financial burdens. There is less time in each day to fit the responsibilities of having a family. This can lead to impatience and irritability. These are attitudes that must be tolerated by or compromised with a significant other in order for a relationship as enduring as marriage to succeed. Climbing divorce rates make it imperative for two people considering marriage to live together first.
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