Understanding Others: In The M/F Box by E J Graff

When is the right time to become aware of what others encounter in their daily lives? In “The M/F Box” by E.J. Graff, she writes about events that question how society today is not conscious of how insignificantly transgender people are treated. Graff describes occurrences where ignorant people worsen situations when help is needed, and due to their distinction, they are mistreated. Graff argues that society should rethink gender identity because our oversimplification of male or female identities leaves transgender people outcasted.

Graff effectively evokes sympathy by challenging society’s oversimplification of gender identity by pointing out people’s ignorance through exposing appalling anecdotal experiences. In order to understand why transgender people struggle in society, we must understand their physical and mental complexity. Graff strengthens her argument by identifying this complexity. Physically, “one in 2,000 infants is born with genitalia ambiguous …enough to question: boy or girl?”(Graff). Genitalia ambiguity is when the external reproductive system of the fetus is underdeveloped.

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It could also mean that the internal reproductive system of the child does not match the external genitalia. Due to a difference in physical appearance, there is a conflict among transgender people in society.

but similarly, the mental complexity of transgender people further complicates their place in society by introducing terms like intersex, intergender, cross-gender, etc. Furthermore, “‘sex is a complex constellation of characteristics that includes not only chromosomes but also ‘gonadal sex, internal morphologic sex, external morphologic sex, hormonal sex, phenotypic sex, assigned sex and gender of rearing, and sexual identity.

’' (Graff) (further, explain )However, because society confines us to male or female, these terms are broadly overlooked. The confinement and oversimplification narrow the opportunity for transgender people by forcing them to not only fit in but also comply with social characteristics. This strengthens Graff’s argument by making readers feel sympathy. Due to social norms, doctors have the authority to assign sex to children with genitaliafor changeand, ambiguity to conform to society’s idea of gender identity. genitalia forchange andThese procedures are performed by “[cutting] off infant clitorises or penises” (Graff). Instead of solving the issue of identity, these children are left with an everlasting conflict. ¬¬¬In time, “those children have come of age and are telling their stories: severe depression, sexual numbness and a longtime despair at having been folded, spindled and mutilated.” (Graff) It may take years for the truth to come out about these individuals’ identities which only leads to more confusion. Some parents might decide to never inform them of what particularly happened to them at birth. “After a child he called ‘John’ was accidentally castrated soon after birth, [a doctor named] Money advised his parents to have him undergo surgery to construct a vagina, raise him as ‘Joan’” (Graff). Eventually, this child grew up believing that he was always a male living in a female’s body which cause an internal and societal struggle. Today and in the future, the definition of gender and sex has become more complex. Society needs to factor in that not only do transgender people struggle internally but treating them inhumanly worsens the matter. By alternating our perspectives on gender and sex, John could’ve lived by his true identity. Graff gives a voice to people that are transgender through anecdotal experiences by informing her readers of only a few of the many events that go on throughout their lives. These anecdotes are presented in a tone that makes the reader sympathize with transgender people when identifying unjustifiable events. When considering Oiler, a truck driver, who was wrongfully dismissed when his employer found out that he wore women’s clothing on his own time. When defending himself, “Oiler tried to explain that he simply wore women's clothes on the weekends: He wasn't going to become a woman; he didn't want to wear makeup and heels on company time” (Graff).

This was classified as sexual discrimination because Oiler would not confine themself to the man that he would present himself to be. Based on our social norms, Oiler felt the need to hide his true identity from society. Graff shares another horrific story. “Tyra Hunter's car crashed in Washington, DC. When firefighting paramedics cut away her dress and found male genitals, they laughed and mocked her. She bled to death in the hospital” (Graff). Both cases identify where society discriminates against one’s true identity because they do not conform to our social norms. These anecdotes provoke a sense of sympathy to strengthen the argument forchange in gender identity. Graff informs her readers of traumatic incidences that the transgender community encounters, she effectively uses sympathy to prove her argument through anecdotal experiences of the hardships that transgender people endure. Graff questions why society has not been able to altercate our meaning of male and female, when there are people in the world who do not define as one or the other. Our conception of being either one or the other gender, degrades people who have a complex version of themselves, and needs to be more accepting.