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Felicia Khoo. Although it might sound like a typical name, it means the world to me. In my eyes, my mother has always been a headstrong and resilient woman - the one who has never failed to motivate me to keep going regardless of the numerous pitfalls I come across. even when coming across many pitfalls.
Having gone through many gruelling challenges, my mother is no stranger to daily setbacks. Despite being confronted with many difficult situations, she has always stood her ground and continued to smile.
Her story starts with her as a young child.
She was treated unfairly at home, especially by her own mother, who gave her severe and unreasonable punishments and did not see her as her own child. Unlike any other child’s, her home was not a safe haven where she could come back to for comfort and love. Instead, she was scolded daily and blamed for things that were not her fault and faced chastisement.
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Even with an unsupportive and cold family, she refused to falter and pushed herself to grow into a stronger and more perseverant person.
Five years old young girl, stark naked, thrown out of her home by her mother. That was a memory she would never forget. Whimpering and scampering, she headed to the only other place she knew of for comfort - her neighbour's home.
Such was my mother’s childhood, a miserable one full of unhappiness. A normal day at home would include the petrifying sight of a cane and no food on her plate.
When she was lucky, she would get the leftovers from the previous day, but they were merely scraps compared to the food her brothers were eating. Looking back now, she feels aggrieved at the unfair treatment she received from her mother and still ponders on the reason behind the disparate treatment she and her brothers were given.
Growing up, my mother lived in a one-room Housing Development Board (HDB) unit with no bedrooms, where she and her three older brothers would sleep on the floor. Their home was quite small and mostly bare, devoid of furniture. She had a difficult childhood, and even more so with a mother that did not believe in girls' education. By virtue of her mother’s grounds of girls becoming part of other families when they grew up, her mother believed that spending money on a daughter was impractical and was very reluctant to pay for my mother’s education, which was why my mother was barely able to undergo a complete basic education.
At seven years old, my mother attended Opera Estate Girls' School, but being on the receiving end of bullying in school by her peers because of her scrawny size made her primary school education difficult too. Despite being the victim of bullying, she refused to let that dishearten her and instead, took it in her stride. “Although their comments might have been hurtful, I just didn’t really care much about them. As long as I didn’t let them affect me, I would be fine.” Disregarding their vile remarks, both her confidence and positive outlook were unaffected, and she remained optimistic and resilient, never giving in to the encircling negativity and carrying on with her ordinary life.
Having a controlling mother who did not think girls should go to school, my mother was forced to pause her education before Junior College at age seventeen because her parents had stopped funding her schooling. However, she later continued her studies in night classes for her 'A' Levels, for which she paid the fees independently through working in the day and studying at night. Besides studying, she took on many different part-time jobs in order to fund her own education, which included tutoring children who lived near her house, working at Swensen's, selling shoes at Far East Shopping Centre and as a door-to-door salesperson selling encyclopaedias in HDB flats. In retrospect, the job experiences she gained from the numerous distinct lines of work that she took up were helpful in giving her exposure to different customers and job industries, in spite of the encounters sometimes being not-so-pleasant. Nevertheless, she continued working and enjoyed the process of the experience, learning as much as she could from it, not at all with the desire to give up. Evidently, this period of her life definitely was not smooth sailing, but regardless, she pushed through it and did acceptably for her 'A' Levels. She never considered giving up her dream of achieving further education even with the strenuousness of each day, but instead worked even harder to strive for her goal. At this point, her only desire was to study hard and work hard; to get herself out of poverty.
“Resilience knows that you are the only one that has the power and the responsibility to pick yourself up.” – Mary Holloway
My mother’s growth from a fragile, young and impoverished child to a determined and self-sufficient woman has been a roller coaster of a journey for her. With past events that might not have been the happiest but have had a profound impact on her, playing a significant role in shaping her character and framing her moral principles to become more tangible, she has familiarised herself with the utmost importance of resilience and tenacity and is a stellar example of resilience. To this day, she continues to adhere to this quote to the best of her ability and spares no effort in working hard in memory of her humble past and what she has gone through to get to where she is today.
Being able to experience what life was like for my mother since she was just a child through her eyes has been a thoroughly eye-opening experience for me. Besides just learning the importance and true value of resilience, I now understand what my mother had to go through – the countless adversities, the horde of negative encounters, and the sundry setbacks – and how she grew from these experiences to be quick to bounce back instead of dwelling on the past and wallowing in her misfortunes. With her fortitude and remarkable resilience, I am sure that had she been born under better circumstances, and perhaps in a more supportive family, she would have gone further in terms of both education and career, possibly becoming a greater success. Her life story has been a great inspiration to me and motivated me to strive on through difficult times and recover quickly from hindrances.
The Story Of My Mother’s Life Struggle. (2024, Feb 04). Retrieved from https://studymoose.com/the-story-of-my-mother-s-life-struggle-essay
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