Short Essay on Benjamin Franklin

Essay, Pages 2 (336 words)

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Benjamin Franklin was one of the Founding Fathers of the United States. He was a great politician and inventor, as well as a few other professions. Ben Franklin accomplished very many things in his lifetime. Some of his greatest accomplishments are the following five: the invention of the lightning rod, bifocals, and the Franklin stove: being awarded an honorary doctorate degree from Oxford University in England; being named one of the Founding Fathers for signing the Declaration of Independence. It almost seems like Ben Franklin never took a break a day in his life since the moment he was born.

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Looking at his timeline of important events, it’s easy to see that the man is very much accomplished. Starting with the invention of the lightning rod.

The lightning rod is a metal rod attached to an exposed part of a building used to divert lightning into the ground. And it was important because it protected any kind of tall building or structure by preventing the lightning from catching the building on fire and damaging it.

Ben Franklin’s next most important invention was the bifocals. And he got the idea when he was starting to get old and was having trouble seeing up close and far away. He grew tired of having to switch between lenses so he decided to conveniently fit both types of lenses into one frame by putting the distance lens on the top and the up close lens on the bottom. Glasses like these are still used today, and that’s why the bifocals are one of Franklin’s most important accomplishments.

Another example of one of Ben Franklin’s greatest accomplishments would be the day he signed the Declaration of Independence and became known as one of the Founding Fathers of the US. And Ben Franklin’s could be discussed and raved about endlessly. Those three accomplishments previously talked about are now even half of all the greats things Ben Franklin has done and contributed to America as a country.

Essay's Scoring Result:

Expert's Assessment

The essay discusses Benjamin Franklin's notable achievements but lacks depth and coherence. The overall structure is somewhat disjointed, transitioning abruptly between accomplishments. Sentence composition is acceptable, but the writing could benefit from a smoother flow. While the information about Franklin's inventions is informative, the essay would benefit from more in-depth exploration of his impact. Additionally, the essay could improve its overall quality with better sourcing and greater attention to grammar. The narrative lacks a clear conclusion, leaving the reader with a sense of abruptness. Overall, there is potential for improvement in organization and detail.

How can you enhance this essay?

Consider refining the essay's structure for a more coherent narrative. Start with an introduction that briefly outlines Franklin's significance, followed by separate paragraphs for each major accomplishment. Provide more context and historical background for each achievement to enhance understanding. Ensure a smoother transition between ideas for a more fluid reading experience. Avoid repetitive phrases like "great accomplishments" and strive for varied vocabulary. Additionally, incorporate more specific details about Franklin's impact on politics and inventions. Improve the essay's conclusion by summarizing key points and reinforcing the broader significance of Franklin's contributions to America.