My Father And I: Inspiration And Hero

Relationships are the most important necessity to living a normal life, especially to those whom have a strong family relationship. Since I was a child, I developed a strong relationship with both sides of my families. There have been days or periods of time where lack of communication existed, but for the most of my life I am close with many members of my family. School or my job can get me busy, making it difficult to give that extra effort to remain in contact with my family members.

The relationship between my father and I have suffered a lot due to the lack of communication; which negatively impacted our relationship. Not only was the lack of communication, our relationship seemed to stop being the same, both of us started to separate each other from our lives and this happen when I graduate from high school. I have learn two important lessons, one being that this is an issue created because of lack of communication; and secondly, that it is really difficult for me to change myself and to work with this issues, but I needed to do something so the relationship does not get more deteriorated.

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This is the reason why I will increase my interpersonal communication between my father and I through the use of regulatory conversations and other approaches that I have learned through this semester, in efforts to continue the relationship my father and I had in the pass.

The reason why everything started was puberty. In men puberty makes our thoughts change and that is the main reason why my father and I become more separated than the usual.

Every day we discuss something we do not like about the other it can be on dinner, car rides, or just in the house. The reason of this was because our thoughts were different. My father has been raised as the old mans who want power over anything. What my father said must be done. I have been raised with a lot of problems and my mind has become an open mind one, I always look for the better to everyone. My father and I always have different opinions about what are best and that had led us to fights and separation. Through this semester I learn a lot of things that will help my communication with people.

I understand that lack of communication was the reason why our relationship has decreased to what it was. During this semester I learn a lot of things that will help me in my life and others that will help my communications with my family and to give useful advices. Reading through the book I learned that there are two orientations that are being utilized by my father and I; conformity and conversation. These two different orientations represent the normal parenting strategies everyone used where one is the leader or the enforcer and the other being interested to increase the relationship with openness and strong communication. One example is that my dad is and has been strict on what we discussed. When I was younger, I remember my father having a little patience with my thoughts, he always gets angry at me. He always wanted that everyone follows his rules and values. My father had learned values and rules on how fathers present themselves in the family, and how they should parent their children in the 20 centuries. I then realized that my father must change his thoughts after reading an interpersonal relationship in the textbook (Beebe, Beebe and Redmond, n.d. Augustine 3 Pg. 7). Which lead me to the fact that my father was wrong and that I also had to change my way to communicate. Every time I approached to my dad, I had the face and the tone of and angry person and that lead my dad to act the same way. The conversation between my father and I were extremely limited. School, grades, finances and future life steps are the only things ever discussed on a regular basis. The relationship I had with my father will never evolve to into an ideal father.

I stated earlier that my father would get angry when I speak or express my thoughts in situations, which include car rides, dinner, or even when we were alone. This showed that my father had interpersonal power over me in the sense that he controlled when we talked and what the topic was for discussion was. Interpersonal power, emphasis on informational objective and the parenting style of conformity are all the attributes that have navigated my father’s direction of our current relationship. Since I respect my father, I avoided telling him the ongoing issues that I’ve been concerned with for over 13 years. The answer to end with this issue was right in front of me and has been all along. The only thing I had to do was to be honest with my father and telling him the negative aspects of our relationship. Tell him all the thing that bothering me; I may be able to recreate the rules that my father has created in our relationship.

Just like all big decisions in life, a plan needs to be implemented and it starts with the use of nonverbal communication. This is also can be described as “Nonverbal communication” as discussed in the textbook, which is defined as, “Behavior other than written or spoken language that creates meaning for Augustine 4 someone.” (Beebe, Beebe and Redmond, n.d. Pg. 180). When I spoke with my dad, I always got angry but if I send him messages, I do not have to see him. By texting my father every day is making us two know what we are doing, and this would create constructive communicative habits. These messages will make my dad know about the 21 century and help with my dad become more comfortable with a new style of parenting, since he might recognize the era and how millennials are. Secondly, I need to spend more quality time with my dad and do memorable activities together to increase and enrich our relationship. While spending time with my father doing this quality activities, I can be honest and talk with him about the direction of our relationship and how we can change. I also recognize that this is a long-term plan, it might take days, months or years until I can spend some quality time with my father, but through effort and determination; our relationship should be entering a much healthier state within a year.

The long and not easy road that my father and I have been going down may seem to decrease the problems and create a better future. My father’s rules and values make this issue become more difficult to change because he is afraid to a big change. My plan is to not give up until my father and I had a great relationship. By being respectful, showing honesty and obtaining every opportunity that I get to spend time with my dad, I will be able to recreate the negative regulatory rules that have separate our relationship since my youth. Family interpersonal relationships can be ambiguous, especially when roles like mine run the show; but with the right plan in place, it’s never too late to change the direction of the relationship.