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Carl Band once said, “Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” Growing up, I’ve learned to believe in second chances. Throughout my lifetime, I have noticed that every person makes mistakes at various points in their lifetime. As humans, we tend to hold grudges, but what we really need to try is to forgive and forget. Giving people second chances is a great thing to do; but what you do with your second chance is your decision.
People can use the second chance to their advantage or they can use it to harm the people they have once hurt. I too have made mistakes in my life, but the people I’ve hurt the most while making these mistakes have always been the ones to forgive me. Three summers ago, I met my current boyfriend and I took advantage of him being there for me; he had given me so much love but I took that all for granted.
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How we met was strange. One night, I was on a video call with my best friend and randomly a guy appeared on the call; that was the night I met my boyfriend. At the beginning, the conversation was so awkward because, all he was doing was talking to my best friend, and finally she introduced me to him. She had told me that they meet through mutual friends and became close.
After we got confortable with each other, we talked for hours about the most random topics all night long; I had never felt like I had a connection with someone like I did with him.
After that night, we were inseparable; we talked constantly to each other. Regardless of not having anything to talk about or have the most pointless conversation, we could stay on the phone for hours and it just felt right. As time went on, I thought I had feelings for him and we finally decided to be together. The first month was just what I had imagined, but as school started, we slowly drifted apart. Living in two different states was already hard enough for both of us to communicate so, I started talking to different people and I started falling for someone else. It came to the point that I thought it was best to end things with my current boyfriend. What I didn’t realize at that moment was that leaving my boyfriend was one of the worse mistakes I could make. Even though I moved on and went to another relationship for a while, in the back of my mind, I was constantly wondering what would have happened if we had stayed together and if we had actually tried to save our relationship.
I had not spoken a word to him since we broke up, but two years later, we met again. August 31, 2013, was a night to remember: I got to reconnect with the love of my life. We were both at a charity event for our mosque. I had heard from a friend that his parents decided to send him to military school in Atlanta but I never actually met up with him while he was there. At first all I got was dirty stares from him, but finally we sat down and had a real conversation. We forgave each other for all the wrong things we did to each other and we slowly started bonding again. I got a second chance with him and I made certain that this time I did it right. For the first month, we talked and got to know each other again. On September 25, 2013 we officially got back together. After that moment, I realized that he was the guy for me. He was always so supportive of me and always cared about me. No matter how much the distant was, he was always there for me.
Sometimes he couldn’t physically be their for me but, I knew if I ever needed advice or if I just needed someone to vent too, he was a phone call away. I was blessed to find a boyfriend and best friend all in one. I had given up on our relationship the first time and this time around; I would make sure that didn’t happen again. Now a year has passed and we still are together and happier than ever. Everyone makes mistakes. We all wish we had a redo button that magically fixed every mistake we have made, but life isn't always that easy. In this situation, I was lucky to be given a second chance to mend my relationship. Knowing that second chances aren’t handed out, my current boyfriend gave me one because he believed in me and knew that with that second chance I could prove that things would really turn around this time.
Three years ago, my cousin Wael, aged 17, died next to me in a car accident. It was a very beautiful evening, I just got off work and was excited to go home and drive my new Nissan 350Z my boyfriend just got me. As I arrived to my house, Wael was waiting for me. I hadn’t seen him over a week or so, and the excitement to see him was killing me. I wanted to go out for a drive to catch up, as well as test drive the new car. We were out driving for about twenty minutes or so; we told each other stories and just laughed until we couldn’t breathe any longer. At a point, he kept asking me to let him drive my car. This car was probably every teenagers dream. I didn’t want to at first, because my boyfriend had asked me to please not let anyone else drive it. I couldn’t say no to Wael. He was my everything; we always did things with each other, and for each other. I finally gave up, parked at a random store and switched seats with him.
The fun then really began. We drove everywhere; we drove past my house, past our high school and finally went on this road called Hillcrest Road. This road is known for how small and narrow it is, and its big bumpy hills. We both knew what was about to happened. We were about to have the best time. He got in it, stepped on the gas as hard as he could, and the car speed off. We were screaming with laughter from how fast the car was going, and how much fun it was to feel like we were flying in the air. Finally we made it at the end of the road. I was glad that was over with, because in my head I kept thinking,” please don’t scratch up the car.” He wasn’t done, he asked me, “one more time please?” I gave up arguing with him, and agreed. This time around he put his whole weight on the gas pedal and took off as fast as he could. We were laughing, screaming, and looking at each other as we were flying in the air. There was a moment when the car flew after the hill and started to drift to the left.
I got scared and asked him to stay in the lane. I think he freaked out and didn’t know how to handle the car. He made a mistake by hitting the break while we were flying instead of hitting the break when we landed. The two front wheels locked and as soon as it hit the concrete ground, everything started moving in slow motion. I could feel the car sliding off the road and going towards a white fence. I don’t remember what happened after that hit because it happened so fast. I can recall waking up with glass pocking the soles of my feet, blood dripping down my neck; it was so wet and gushy. I was so sore and in so much pain. I looked over to my shoulder to see if my cousin is still there, but all I see is blood dripping down his nose and I tried to wake him up. I was screaming at him “Please wake up, please.” When he couldn’t respond to me I tried to get out the car even though opening the door was very hard. Everything was blurry and every muscle in my body was aching.
I was told, I just passed out on the ground while I was trying to walk to a house to get help. Eventually, someone called 911 and the ambulance and care flight came for both of us. I was taken on the ambulance to be treated for severe head injuries, while they were working on getting Wael out of the crushed car. I have been hit in the head by the fences we ran into, and had lost too much blood. Wael was pronounced dead due to internal bleeding. When I eventually woke up in the hospital, I heard all the crying and screaming, and that’s when I knew someone died. I couldn’t understand who, I mean it wasn’t me because I was still here. I kept telling myself this is just a dream; I will wake up soon, but I never woke up. That person who died was my cousin. I couldn’t cry, I was numb, I couldn’t feel anything. I couldn’t understand what had just happened. I just couldn’t believe it, no way. We were just having so much fun a couple hours ago it seemed.
I guess bad news spreads faster than good news, because the next morning I was surrounded by people who I knew as well as I didn’t know. It was variety of people from friends, police officers and even family members from all over that I haven’t seen in years. That’s when it hit me, that my cousin is gone forever. I cried and cried myself to sleep. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, and the nightmares kept getting worse as the days went on. All of my family hated me because they blamed me for his death. I developed very bad depression, I stopped talking to everyone, I got angry fast and I felt lonely. I had nothing going for myself. I felt like I lost everyone who I once loved, or at least those who loved me. One day my mom begged me to go get help, or just get out and do something with myself. I had to do something about this; it had been way too long.
I had suffered enough, I grieved for way to long and that’s when I came to the conclusion that God has a plan for me and this is why he is still keeping me around. God gave me a second chance, he wants me to do something with myself. I believe everyone deserves second chance in life. It doesn’t matter if it a big mistake or a small mistake. Walking around with grudges won’t solve anything. Obviously when I was walking around grieving it didn’t do me any good. I blamed God, I blamed my boyfriend for getting me that car, and I took it hard on myself because I willingly handed the vehicle to my cousin. This world is filled with good and bad things.
It’s sad to say that it took a car accident and losing the closest person I had ever had to make me realize this. Wael might be gone but he will never be forgotten. I feel like he begged me to drive the car for a reason. It me who was supposed to be killed, but God took him before me. I believe everyone deserves a second chance just like God gave me another chance. I felt like I died and came back. As long as I am alive I can survive anything, and I know I have a purpose in life. My life did change dramatically; I can’t say I am the same person I used to be. My family went from hating me to being the closest people I have in my life; I went from doing nothing for myself to enrolling at Kettering Medical College. Life can be cruel and destructive, but God gave me a second chance at life for a good reason. This I must believe.
Do people deserve a second chance? The question may be easy to ask, but quite difficult to answer. In life, most people believe that they deserve a second chance. However, there are so many different factors that go into a decision on whether or not to give someone a second chance. In literary work, there are numerous examples of asking and sometimes receiving second chances. It’s usually better if the author has personal experience to draw upon when it comes to the material that they write about. One of the best examples of getting a second chance was Raymond Carver. Having grown in a family with very limited financial resources and a father who was drinking, Raymond Carver was exposed to the unpleasantness at an early age. As he grew older, he started drinking himself. Eventually, the author battled alcoholism and was able to beat it. He was given a second chance in life. The honesty in Carver’s work undeniable; he was able to relate his struggles to his characters looking for a second chance, thus making his readers aware of the importance of giving people another chance to improve their lives.
A group of writers who formed the “Dirty Realism Writing School” became popular in 1980’s. They wrote stories on real life and their characters are deep in disappointment and tragedy. Raymond Carver one of the writer’s, who wrote as a master of minimalism, his writing technique creates a sense of uncertainty and he leaves the reader guessing. Carver in his real life was not a minimalist: in fact it was ironic that he was the opposite, he was a walking tragedy, which showed in the “Cathedral” and “A Small, Good Thing.” The stories were simple and packed with deep emotional feelings, its gives the reader a true inner look at one self. This article will demonstrate that the author always left it to the readers to draw their own conclusions, his stories are similar to the way Carver lived his own life, having a Second Chance. (Comninos, Raymond Carver: A Writer's life, 2009, p. 1)
One could only desire to look at the stories in “Beginners” and the ones in “What We Talk About” to recognize changes: the prose in “Beginners” to make up a compact collection of narration shattered by a flashed of dialogue; in “What We converse About” there is so much white space that some of the tales “After the Denim” look like a story in a mystery novel. In numerous cases, the man who didn’t permit editor to change his own work gutted Carver’s and on this subject Sklenicka voices a fury she is either reluctant or unable to rally on Maryann’s behalf calling Lish’s revising of Carver “a usurpation.” He enforced his own ideas on Carver’s stories, which Carver was credited was actually Lish’s deal. (Clark, 2013) In his interview with (Simpson, 2013). He spoke about his life and the experiences, he is usually thought of as a writer committed to a basically realist mode. The stories seemed to incorporate elements of authority or fiction. The fiction in his stories appears to reflect on itself and question its own status.. Raymond Carver stories are about historical events and relationships between fiction and the truth, its more truth than fiction.
The story “Put Yourself in my Shoe,” this is from his first volume “Will You Be Quit Please?” This story is about a writer someone like Carver, a person who was having a tough life, a failure, a drunk. Carver’s wife and two children were fed up with his drinking and couldn’t take it anymore, so when he moved to California his Maryann didn’t go. That was the end of his marriage and the beginning of his second life. Carver’s second chance at life and love came in 1977, he stopped drinking and he turned his life around, he wrote the “Cathedral” it is said to be the most important short story he wrote. He met his second disease; cancer. Which took his life in 1988? This interview helps me to understand the direct relationship between the story and the writer’s experience. He uses a great degree of experience, mix with imagination. His character comes alive with every word and I could relate to the events and the people in his stories.
At his second chance at life, his stories were often called a “slice of life.” It reveals a glimpse of the man his actual experience and not his imagination. “What We Talk When We Talk About Love” the story focus on two couples who thinks that they know the meaning of love, but actually they are confused about the true meaning of love. The story is based on the couples drinking gin and the whole conversation makes the character seems human. The more they drunk the more they seems not understand the meaning of love. Love may not have been defined but they understood that it would always be elusive. Carver’s stories are genuine,; it features a good beginning, middle and a conclusion that puts everyone who read the story in to a reality mode. With his former writing Carver could not move beyond the hopelessness of alcoholism.
He used alcohol as a means to escape reality and live within his self where there are no problems that need his attention and this shows, in “Cathedral” the story was written about alcoholism and alienation to a sorrowful self-awareness to become a reality of hope. “Cathedral” was about his second chance at life and it contributes to his great success. (Messer, 2012) I believe that Raymond Carver is realism and connected to the people on all levels. When Carver wrote about relationships, the characters connected with his readers.
I believed its more than just entertainment, to me it was a blasted of reality. The importance of giving people another chance to improve their lives, is one of the themes that the readers can pick up when looking at his literary work of Raymond Carver. He brought full circle not a narrate of alcoholism and alienation but sobriety and hoped, but the possibility for the a second chance. The “Cathedral” represents the artistic power and multifaceted undertaking as his most successful and realistic collection of short stories. I believe that the Cathedral” showed his willingness to compromise and get help, a turning point in his life “second chance”
“People do make mistakes and I think they should be punished. But they should be forgiven and given the opportunity for a second chance. We are human beings.” David Millar, a cyclist, had once said. (AllGreatQuotes) The First Stone by Don Aker, conveys this message throughout the novel. Second chances are given to people a chance to fix a mistake. It is a benefit given to people to realize how lucky they are to be given a second chance. As well as, to fix themselves, and their well being. Second chances are so important because it has the ability to flip a whole person’s life around.
Thus, people do deserve second chances as it highlights a person’s quality, proving that second chances makes them realize their actions, gives them opportunities, and the ability to change.First, people realize their actions when given a second chance. In the novel, Reef is assigned to a patient that had a car accident. “Reef’s mind suddenly conjured the mangled Subaru--- thinking again about the girl--- deliberately turning his mind away from the event and the emotions it stirred in him.” (Aker 198). This shows that he is ashamed of his actions and felt so uncomfortable, he wanted to stop thinking about it. The second chance allowed him to think about what he did and made him care for people similar to the girl. Following that, during the end, Reef saw how the overpass had a chicken wire fencing to block things being thrown. “Because of me, he thought. That’s because of me.” (Aker 284). This advent in the novel signify that Reef felt bad that he was the reason for that gate. He realized the damage he caused and that he understood what he did wrong. “Shit didn’t just happen.
He knew that now. Shit got made.” (Aker 284). The second chance caused Reef to finally comprehend that now, everything has consequences. Second chances not only drive people to realize what they have done, they also give the person opportunities. To begin, people receive opportunities when given second chances. For example, Reef got the opportunity to register the things he had done and not serve time. The sentence gave Reef the opportunity to become who he is now. “Events of that day on the overpass had happened to someone else, some other Reef Kennedy.” (Aker 284). His sentence was to force Reef to change. “ “I believe that you need to experience the results of such actions firsthand.” ” (Aker 78). He fixed who he was and now knew to never throw a rock again. If he went to prison, he would have never seen the results of accidents firsthand and grasp what he did was wrong. In addition, Reef is now sober and is continuing to tell his story to kids as his job.
The second chance gave him opportunity to tell his stories to kids instead of being in prison. It also gave him the opportunity to find a place to call home, which is the group home he's currently at. Second chance presents people an opportunity for them to become their real self and for their life to become complete. All in all, second chances should be granted as it promotes people to understand their wrongdoings, gives them options, as well as becoming different. Firstly, people notice their behavior because Reef felt bad and noticed what he did was wrong. Next, Reef got the opportunity to change his thoughts about his life because of the second chance. Lastly, Reef changed who he was after the accident. Second chances can change a person’s life for the better, there are many good things that happened to us because of second chances.
I Believe in Second Chances. (2016, May 22). Retrieved from https://studymoose.com/i-believe-in-second-chances-essay
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