How I Overcame My Fear and Anxiety?

So here’s how I overcame my fear… Not my fear of heights, not my fear of demonic horror film children, but the fear of day to day life. My story starts as a young boy. Always anxious, always afraid of the ‘what if’s’. So much so that I missed out on so many opportunities that I might not get again. I was so anxious every second of the day even before I knew what ‘anxiety’ was or that the feeling even had a name.

I remember thinking to myself ‘I’ll always feel this way’, afraid and feeling lonely. It seemed impossible to me that I could ever change, mainly because anxious thoughts were all I had ever known. I became so fearful through school, college, and eventually at work. Always feeling down about myself and unconfident. One day I’d had enough. I didn’t know how I’d change the way I was but I knew there must be away.

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Anyone can change, right? My ultimate fear was living a life of anxiety and depression. I knew that I didn’t want to live the rest of my life the way I had been and so that fear motivated me to change. Instead of letting it cripple me, I harnessed it to swing my mind back around and into a productive state. Here’s how I saw it. There were these two options; Be depressed forever Or Use the fear. The compounding effect of multiple years of anxiety on my brain reached a critical mass where I didn’t care about feeling stupid or exposed anymore.

I was going to overcome my fear one way or the other. I was determined. You see, I think everyone needs to reach what I call a ‘critical mass’ where the way you feel goes beyond depressed and into ridiculousness. When you reach that point like I did, it becomes a joke that you’ve lived that way for so long. Not a ‘haha’ joke but more a ‘Do I seriously want to live that way forever?’ kind of joke. When you can step back and look at yourself you can start to get a bit of perspective on things. I overcame my fear of a life of anxiety by doubling down on productive activities. It was only when I took the ‘risk’ to do what I truly wanted that I felt mentally free. I started to learn that most people are afraid of being judged by others and so they never really try for what they really want. I realized when I stepped back to look at my life, I had become side-tracked. I was living on autopilot ignoring what my mind craved. This meant making time for what I was passionate about. Not going to bed late, waking early, going to school, watching TV all evening, and repeating the cycle. You have to say enough is enough. A mundane cycle of life is enough to give anyone an anxiety disorder. Yes, we have responsibilities however when I remembered back to my childhood self, I didn’t have the same levels of fear that I ended up having in my early teens. So that was it. I was going to carve out the life I wanted because I knew that no-one could change my life but for me. Not my mum, not my dad, not my teacher. Only you can do that. But you have to want it.

Stress and Anxiety in Sports

Introduction:

Sports have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember, and I know from countless experiences how stress and anxiety can affect ones performance. Anyone involved in sports in anyway will understand the feelings that rush through you when you are in a high risk, and high pressure situations. Those final moments of a close game, or even the night before your big match or competition, are great examples of situations that would create the sudden rush of these feelings; and therefore, triggering a spike in anxiety. Whether you are in the stands, on the bench, playing or coaching, you get that “butterfly” feeling in your stomach. The difference between success and failure is how you deal with high pressure situations. If you let nervousness and anxiety overcome you, it could cost you and your team the match or that podium spot you worked so hard for. The question is, how do you control it, and how important is it that you control it?

The Issue:

“Anxiety is a negative emotional state characterized by nervousness, worry, and apprehension and associated with activation or arousal of the body” (Robert S. Weinberg, Daniel Gould, 2007). When given the opportunity to shoot that final shot for the championship game, or that final at bat, most don’t take it as an opportunity but rather a curse. In these high risk, and high pressure situations, the fear of failure taints their view of these possible opportunities to excel. This is what causes their stress and anxiety levels to rise at a drastic speed. Look at athletes such as Kobe Bryant and Tiger Woods. These are two athletes who are considered to be two of, if not the most clutch players in their respective sports. Do you think that when Kobe Bryant has the ball in his hand with 10 seconds left on the clock, he has any doubt in his mine that he will not make the shot? Not even in the slightest. When Tiger Woods is about to shoot a must needed approach shot? No, he sinks his chip shot to go on and win the 2005 Masters Championship. Sure, they may miss; they do miss in many cases for that matter; but the probability of success they have skyrockets when they have faith in themselves and believe that they are going to make that shot.

The opposite affect occurs when there is doubt in your mind. You tense up, your heart races, and your mind races with negative thoughts about all the possible things that could go wrong with all these thoughts going through your head it prevents you from focusing on the task at hand, and what needs to be done for you to get the best opportunity to win the game. Athletes such as Bryant and Woods embrace these opportunities and have enough confidence in themselves to help them sculpt the careers they have had, the championships they have won and of course all the handy money, fame, and endorsements that come along with it.

Measuring Arousal and Anxiety:

“Arousal is a blend of physiological and psychological activity in a person, and it refers to the intensity dimensions of motivation at a particular moment” (Robert S. Weinberg, Daniel Gould, 2007). To determine how to work through periods of high stress/anxiety, you must first distinguish the type of anxiety and its severity. How do we measure anxiety/arousal? The physical effects of anxiety, such as increased heart rate and respiration and arousal increase in severity as the anxiety increases.

Physical signs of arousal are things such as increased heart rate and respiration, where symptoms of anxiety can be anything from feeling nervous, to becoming physically ill. When experiencing symptoms of stress, take a deep breath and gage the amount of side-effects that are occurring. The gage in which we measure anxiety and arousal differ from person to person. To accurately measure this we must identify certain triggers that are unique to individuals and find ways to cope with them. Everybody has their own reasons to be afraid of failure, for they have their own unique consequences. What they have to find is a way to deal with these consequences and control the outcome.

Controlling It:

The first stage in controlling your stress and anxiety levels is acknowledging the fact that you experience these symptoms, identifying common triggers, and finding ways to work through these periods of anxiety. A very important and useful way in coping with stress and anxiety is to train at a maximum level. “Aim to exercise regularly. Exercise dissipates the adrenaline that builds up in stressful situations and leaves us feeling with a sense of achievement and control” (BrainMac Sports Coach, 2011). If you know at critical points in your sport that you have trained to your maximum level, are convinced that you are more prepared, physically stronger, and more focused than your opponent, your stress levels deplete and you are now prepared for the task at hand.

A great technique which many coaches have taught and used with me is the use of visualization methods. Studies show that if you take time before every match, or even if you are lying in bed the night before your match, and visualize yourself hitting that game winning shot over and over in your head, it will put you in a more positive mindset; therefore, improving your chances at being successful. It is a technique that requires much attention and detail as possible; visualize the sound of the crowd, the colours all around you, your teammates, etc. The more detail in the event you put into it the more it resonates in your mind.

When it comes time to hit that shot, if you are able say to yourself, “I’ve already hit this shot 100 times last night,” your anxiety will drop, and your mind will be focused on all the possible successes instead of possible failures. There are also very knowledgeable sports psychologists in the field that are very helpful with understanding the importance of controlling your stress and anxiety. “Sport psychology consultants can work with athletes to strengthen their mental preparedness in order to enhance and improve athletic performance” (Ott & Van Puymbroek, 2006). They are trained to help you understand the pressure you are under and give you ways how to deal with it.

Conclusion:

For some athletes sports aren’t just games to them they have that extra competitive edge which can sometimes be a good thing, but can also lead to a lot of external pressure and internal stress. There are many athletes that take it upon themselves to be perfect and when mistakes come they shut down and do not know how to deal with the overwhelming pressure that they put on themselves. There are also external factors such as coaches, parents, friends etc. that can also put even more pressure on you which is why athletes who have problems dealing with stress need to try and block out some of these factors and focus more on themselves.

“Concentration, confidence, control and commitment (the 4C's) are generally considered the main mental qualities that are important for successful performance in most sports” (BrainMac Sports Coach, 2011). If you can concentrate on the task at hand, have the confidence that you will beat your opponent, control your state of mind, and commit to what needs to be done you should have no problem with stress and anxiety. With these 4C’s and use the techniques explained above, it should help you immensely in helping you push through those stressful situations you may encounter.

References:
Weinberg, R. ; Gould, D. (2007) Foundations of Sport and Exercise Psychology Ott, K. ; Van Puymbroeck, M (2006) The Sports Digest
http://www.brianmac.co.uk/stress.htm
http://www.brianmac.co.uk/psych.htm