How Does Parents Divorce Affects Children

Abstract

My research paper is based on divorce. These days divorce area common all around the world, however divorce can affect children a lot of negative ways. I am trying to research on how children are affected by divorce. Two types of children which are children when they are still young and children who are teenagers who are fully grown. Especially focus on how children are emotionally and circumstances are getting affected. In conclusion I am also going to write what is the best way for children whose parents are going through divorce.

Keywords: divorce, emotional, children, effect, parents

Divorce is very common in these days, and I don’t think it is a huge deal, I have seen a lot of my friends whose parents are divorced but still maintain friend like relationship. However there are more bad cases on divorce. Especially for the child.How much stress do children have when their parents go through a divorce process? For children whose parents care and love are absolute, and for adolescents who are sensitive and sensitive to changes in their surroundings, parents' divorce remains a scar and a pain even in adulthood.

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Divorce is done through its own legal process which is complicated, also it is one of the most difficult experiences in a family's entire life. Sometimes divorce is done by mutual consent. Although it is normal for one of the parties to take the first step, when a divorce occurs, there remains loneliness, fear, pain, or anger behind it.

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Some pour hatred and anger on one side, others erase good memories. Some people cannot accept what has happened and hope for reconciliation that will never happen. Others go looking for other partners, trying to forget everything. The responses of divorce will be varied. However, marriage may be irrevocable, but the role of mother and father goes till death. Through divorce, adults decide to end each other's relationship but you can't end your role as a parent equally. Divorce should not allow children to be surrounded by an environment of violence, loneliness and anger.

First, children can have lack of affection and confidence. Some children may feel they are not fully loved by anyone which can affect negatively when they grow up. Children depend on their parents the most when they are still young, and although the child is not a parent's property, the child must maintain a relationship with both parents in order to grow up healthy. The most common action after divorce is fighting either side of parents claiming to care for a child instead of taking care of child one by one. Then, the affection of the other parent may seen as unnecessary or lacking for the children. This is one of the most serious mistakes made by divorced parents. It causes the greatest damage to the child. A child needs contact with both parents for healthy emotional development. Meeting and enjoying each other is the right of the child and the right of the parent. When children are lack of affection, they can get in to mental problems, socially insecure and fear to express emotions.

Second, children can go wrong due to divorce. Separation from missing parents is very difficult, and the children will have hard time fetching about the situation and understanding. Some children fantasizes about the return of his parents which they could feel they are abandoned from missing parent. Unfortunately children often attribute/blame the repressed violence to themselves. Parents are set as objects of anger. Then children express criticism toward the target in various behaviors such as fighting, nervousness, indigestion, frequent crying, and more. This relieves the hurt or stress of the mind that he or she has received. The problem is that these experiences in childhood can be expressed in adulthood, a child may become impulsive, aggressive and hostile.

Another situation from divorce is when children is over adolescence. Parental divorce can have a severe impact on their children regardless of age. Some people might think that teenage children are better prepared for such situations. They think this is because teenagers are more mature than children of other ages and are in the process of becoming independent from their parents.

Teenagers become very mentally unstable as they become adults. Maybe even more so than being young. Therefore, parents shouldn't take it not seriously just because the child tends to be independent. Adolescence is a time when they need to grasp a stable family more than ever before. When parents divorce in adolescence, when they learn how to have a deep friendship in life, their children become skeptical about valuable traits such as trust, loyalty and love. Then, child can avoid having close relationships with anyone when they grow up. I would say that doesn't mean that if parents divorce, teenage children cannot live a normal life emotionally or otherwise. They can have a successful life, too. Especially if you have a good relationship with both your parents. Parents who have good effect on child, will still have a little more possibility for child to prosper due to stable mind. There are a lot of couples going through divorce, divorce is always not a good choice however it doesn’t mean parents can not lead the child in better circumstance after divorce. Most children who are exposed to the parents' divorce process go to the consulting hospital after a considerable amount of time has passed since their parents divorced. It means after a child develops psychiatric symptoms after parents’ divorce they start to go to consultant. Therefore, parents should prepare to explain to their children the moment they decide to divorce. While a child who senses a parent's situation has time to feel and judge the situation they are going through, a child who is suddenly informed one day will inevitably feel a great loss. This is delivered as a shock to parents as if they were dead. More than trying to tell the child a lie about divorce, it is better to tell the child about parents’ situation on divorce and tell portion of reason why they are getting divorced. This might give child shock at first, but later on they will get used to it than getting informed in later future. Also it is important not to change the environment directly after divorce. For example, moving out of the house or more constant argument between parents should not happen often. Things should start to change gradually that child can. acknowledge the situation slowly and in better condition so that child can feel more comfort about divorce. Lastly, going through divorce, parents should make sure to tell the child Divorce and how it effects children that it is not your fault, and we still love you. It may be hard, however constantly telling the child how much parents’ still love them no matter what is very important step so that child would not feel guilt and depression. Since, child can feel the divorce is happening due to them and they are discarded.

Divorce are very detrimental to children, however parents can change that. Due to different effect parents give to their child, the child can live a better life. Parents should take responsibility of their actions toward children.

Reference

  1. Morin, A. (2019, August 6). The Psychological Effects of Divorce on Children. Retrieved from https://www.verywellfamily.com/psychological-effects-of-divorce-on-kids-4140170.
  2. How Could Divorce Affect My Kids? (2019, July 26). Retrieved from https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/how-could-divorce-affect-my-kids/.
  3. How Parental Divorce Can Impact Adolescence Now and Later. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/surviving-your-childs-adolescence/201511/how-parental-divorce-can-impact-adolescence-now-and.
  4. Lyness, D. A. (Ed.). (2015, January). Helping Your Child Through a Divorce (for Parents). Retrieved from https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/help-child-divorce.html.
  5. Wong, B. (2017, December 7). The 18 Best Things You Can Do For Your Kids After Divorce. Retrieved from https://www.huffpost.com/entry/parenting-after-divorce-advice_n_6679462.
Updated: Jan 24, 2024
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How Does Parents Divorce Affects Children. (2024, Jan 24). Retrieved from https://studymoose.com/how-does-parents-divorce-affects-children-essay

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