Numerous Victories Generated Fear of Losing
As the ranking climbed, so did my fear of losing. The pressure to succeed and the worry of public embarrassment drove my desire to “win” in all my endeavors. Gradually, the dread of failure superseded the joy of success. Suddenly, the faint whispers of parents escalated. “Did you see that error…What a stunning upset…” My stomach started to churn and my head spun. I buried my face in my arms. As we went back, I realized that rather than playing to win, we had played not to lose, a subtle but vitally important difference in mindset that began to seep into other aspects of my life. I hesitated to voice a controversial opinion or to talk to the girl I secretly admired. Just at this time, the leaving of our captain added insult to the injury. With the left of the captain and robot operator, our robot team thoroughly disintegrated.
Thoughts that Paved the Way to Overcome Fear
Fear and passion, I realized, are two sides of the same emotion. Fear approaches a challenge with diffidence. The potential pitfalls generate dread and anxiety, contributing to a bad outlook. On the other hand, passion approaches the same challenge with conviction. The promise of opportunity inspires a desire to embrace risk. I decided I needed to recapture my intrepid spirit and develop an optimistic attitude.
This more positive mind-set was later tested as I take the robot team over my shoulder. The first days were awkward as I tried to recruit new members. As I silently observed the schoolmates, I finally let myself focus on the intellectual and social benefits of the experience. Taking the lead, controlling the whole team, trying to find my authority is risky, but I try to push my ability to limit. Surely, it is a very hard transition.
My Findings
However, these positive thoughts surmounted my reservations. I was surprised to see my new team members abandon their idleness as they focus on every screw of the structure and the girls meticulously draw the engineering notebook on Photoshop. Day by day, I opened myself to new opportunities, rediscovering my passion and spirit. I channeled my passion into constructive emotion that inspired me to modify every single code. I have come to realize that every time I take the lead, raise my hand in class, or attempt to make new controversial words, I take a risk. I might perform at my very best, but still, I may lose.
I am no longer afraid to tackle the hard and tough mechanical problem, but instead embrace the possible risk we may encounter on the field. I confidently assign the jobs to my members, despite the chance they may be not rational enough. The possibility of failure still occasionally skates through my mind, but it is quickly eclipsed as I silently rejoice.
Finally, with the bright moon we encounter countless times, we are invited to be a part of the world championship in Houston as the first place in Beijing. In Houston, we won the first awards that China join this global competition in eight years. A crystal tear-drop distilled from the wild joy and excitement plopped down on to the trophy.
