I make enough mistakes, and the newspaper will recognize it, and people around me will recognize it and they tear me down and pretty soon I will begin to believe it. There was the time when my confidence was really low there was the time when I took this job when I came from Nigeria I don’t know if I could do it. I had to bring out my self-confidence letter. A letter I write to myself when I was feeling good.
I have congratulation on getting PhD before 40. Congratulations on winning a national championship good job on raising three good kids and marrying the right woman. I wrote a letter to myself it was my own brag sheet my own letter about things I was proud of because there are moments and we’ll all experience them in our career, in our lives, in our job hunting, in our relationships when we are not feeling good about who and what and where we were and I had to bring out that letter and read it time and time again, for a period of about two weeks to weather me through that storm it was important stop the self-talk the negative self-talk.
If you watch you will see some athletes that have a little-bandages or a little brand around them Lance Armstrong is a perfect one What is his self-affirmation? Livestrong is not a brand it was remind him of who he was. Live-strong then it became a brand. He would move that from one arm to the next arm when doubt and fear came into his mind.
Live-strong, put it on there, let’s go. We will all have it we place it two ways to build self-confidence. I am worried about my time I am going to tell you one way that you can build self-confidence in others we are coaches and educators, we are teachers, we are people who will create value in the world and in doing that, we are critical by the nature what we do. What can we do? We fix mistakes. When I am fixing that mistake ‘Robert, this is terrible you need to bend your knee, you need to do this. What I have done Robert’s self-confidence? Bend your knee, then do this, then do this. Next thing you know Robert’s crushed. Ignore what Robert’s does wrong and find Johnny or sally or Freda over here. Great goal Freda, I love how you kept your knee low you followed through and you landed like this. Great job, Johnny: ‘oh’ Great, Johnny not demoralized. His confidence is not short and what I have done is. I have build Freda’s imagine how we could change the way we parented kids.
Instead of, ‘get that glass off the counter, what’s wrong with you? If we catch the mother, good. Great job thankyou Alice for taking your glass to the counter.it sounds simple but we forget about it. Or as educators, or as somebody as a team if we imagine to praise the positive behaviour that we wanted to reinforce. We forget it sounds so simple catch them when they are good we forget it. Here is what they did there is a study in Kansas that did this. They did video and we all do video and we show the video of them doing the run of the play. ‘um, this goal happened because the basket was not protected, we did not rotate here, right? We needed to do this and then cover the slot. And if that is the baseline, improvement of the Kansas state team went like upward then, they said they ignored all of that and they just showed them the times they did it right. The times they did it perfect that presented no goals spoke to the same points, improvement went like upward. It changed and revolutionized the way we coaches interact with our student athletes we can apply to that business world we can apply that to our student group works, we can apply that to our management teams easily. Catch them when they are good last and certainly not least self-confidence people interpret feedback the way they choose to. If I could give you one thing to take from this, it is no one will believe in you unless you do we are supposed to be different folks and when people look at us believe in yourself.
Talk to yourself positively all the time keep repeating I can do it until your fear disappear. How positive affirmations can help shape your life in amazing ways your ability to say positive and maintain positive thoughts determines the tone of your emotional life the words you use to describe what is happening to you and to how you feel about external events triggers the emotions of happiness and unhappiness that you experience. When you see things positively and constructively and look for the good in each situation and each person you have a tendency to remain naturally cheerfully and optimistic since the quality of your overall life is determined by how you feel.
A positive affirmation simply a short statement that you say to yourself and repeat to yourself in in order to get your subconscious mind reprogrammed and thinking along and empowering train your thought so what’s example well one that I am using right now for example is simply this ‘I am a millionaire’ that is my affirmation and what I do is I repeat it to myself again and again. Of course I am not technically right now a millionaire even thought I am financially dependent so what is going on here why I would be saying to myself is not this delusional is not this unrealistic is not this fantasy in anything successful that you have done in your life we can pretty much look back yet that history that you’ve gone through and notice that the places where you succeeded at where the places where you were confident we had some sort of faith that something would happen and you have some sort of vision beyond current reality.