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If you knew that today was your last day on Earth what would you look back on and wish you could change? I strive to make my answer to that absolutely nothing because there isn’t anything I would regret more than living a life full of regrets, full of wishing I had done something differently. We should never regret our decisions, no matter how terrible life seems at the moment. Everything that happens in life makes us the exact person we are meant to be.
“You can’t change who people are without destroying who they were.” This is a quote from one of my favorite movies, The Butterfly Effect. In the movie the main character goes back in time to change events he thinks could have had a better outcome. In the end he realizes that these things had to happen for the future to be perfect, just the way it was. Knowing this we need to figure out one thing; how can we live life with no regrets? It seems to be an impossible task in a world that will coldly turn its back on you at any given moment.
A form of jujutsu, called Aikido, gives us one answer. In this graceful and beautiful sport you blend with the motion of your attacker and redirect the force of their attack rather than facing it head on. Morihei Ueshiba, the creator of Aikido, envisioned it not only as the synthesis of his martial arts training, but “as an expression of his personal philosophy of universal peace and reconciliation.
” We should use this philosophy and apply it to our regrets. Take them and mold them to create a positive outcome. They are like the anchors of our lives. You can either let them drown you or you can use them to hold you down, keep you steady. A short time ago I did something that I thought I would regret for the rest of my life. I ended relationships with friends I had known for over 10 years. I would sit around upset, knowing they were off having fun without me. I second guessed myself terribly.
It wasn’t until the end of the summer that I could finally look back and see that if I hadn’t made that choice I wouldn’t have had the best summer of my life. I wouldn’t have gone to Young Life camp, reconnected with the girl that is now my best friend, strengthened my religious faith, and met someone, yes a boy, who taught me to be grateful for what I have, to live only for things you are passionate about, and most importantly, to live with no regrets. It was that choice which I had once been so weighed down by that lead me to these life changing experiences. This ending was really just a new beginning and I didn’t need to regret one single part of it. This is how I want to live for the rest of my life; free of regret and sadness for the past. Before I die I want to be able to look back and smile. To see that every moment, every emotion, every choice made me the person I needed to be. Isn’t that really just being happy?
“The saddest summary of life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.” ~ Unknown We all have something stored in our memory banks of the past that we wish we could have done differently, or something we wish we didn’t do. As we get older we learn and grow, but that doesn’t mean we have to regret what we did before we learned how to do things differently. If we didn’t go through those experiences, we might not have grown into the strong and knowledgeable people we are today. What I’m proposing is that we get rid of the negative thoughts—the could haves, might haves, and should haves—and start living a life that won’t make us feel regretful. Not even at an older, wiser age.
Here is a list of things you can do to practice living life with no regrets:
1. Realize that it’s okay to make mistakes. Just make sure to learn from them, forgive yourself, and move on. 2. Make your health and wellness a top priority and always take care of yourself so you’re ready to take care of others.
3. Follow your own path, not one that others want you to follow.
4. Find the humor in life and laugh like there is no tomorrow. 5. Relax and move with the flow of life by being unafraid of change.
6. Be adventurous by trying new things and taking more risks. 7. Have more intellectual curiosity and embrace creativity.
8. Try to find happiness with as many different people as you can.
9. Think for yourself instead of letting other people’s opinions influence you too much. 10. Try not to judge people before you get to know them.
11. Be thankful for what you have now instead of thinking about what you don’t have.
12. Wish well upon everyone equally and try to admire without envy.
13. Share your happiness with others instead of hoarding it all for yourself.
14. Don’t try to change someone—love who they are now.
15. Enjoy the journey, not just the destination.
16. Know that happiness is bigger than any bank account.
17. Control negative thoughts so that they don’t contribute to the outcome of your life.
18. Use your energy wisely because spending energy complaining, worrying, or being impatient is just wasted energy.
19. Be bold. Find the courage to change things that should be changed and accept that there are some things that cannot be changed.
20.Love your work. If you don’t currently love what you do, figure out what you would love and take the first step toward that life.
21. Turn your discontent into a mystery and enjoy trying to solve it. 22. Face problems from different angles in order to find solutions.
23. Gain independence by realizing that on this earth we are all dependent upon each other.
24. Change your perspective by taking on a wider view of things.
25. Don’t waste time trying to bring disagreeable people around to liking you.
26. Become the person you would like to spend the rest of your life with.
27. Be honest with yourself and others by saying what you mean and meaning what you say.
28. Treat people with respect and compassion.
29. Live in the now by loving the present and being aware of your thoughts and actions. Think happy thoughts and speak powerful words.
30. Try not to put things off until later.
31. Never hold grudges.
32. Face your fears head on and try to do the things that you think you cannot do.
33. Spend time with people who make you happy while also not depending on other people for your own happiness.
34. Stand up for yourself and others and don’t let anyone or anything hold you back.
35. Be yourself and love who you are now.
36. Be a participant in life rather than an observer.
37. Do the things that you love to do as much as you can.
38. Write out a list of goals and achieve them by doing them step by step. Don’t give up when things get difficult.
39. Do something every day that makes you feel proud of yourself—commit random acts of kindness whenever you get the chance.
40. And always keep on moving forward.
I know it seems like a rather large list of things to take on, but you can accomplish a lot on this list by doing just one thing. For example, right now as I’m typing this I’m putting into practice at least eighteen things. Put these things into practice and see where life takes you, without regrets. And please comment below. I’d love to read your thoughts on this
No one wants to lie on their death bed and think about their past mistakes and wish their life had taken a different turn. It is never too late to start fixing your life and to learn from your errors. Start these steps and clear/heal your heart and your head.
Don’t obsess about what other people think of you. Create a comfortable home for yourself now. Don’t put off things for the “future”. Surround yourself with relationships where you can express different sides of your personality freely. Follow your dreams and let your mate have his/her dreams. Support them in everything they do to achieve them. Never disrespect anyone in front of people in words or actions. Apply yourself in work everyday. Be present. Think of things you can do to make the office a better working environment. Be a role model. Be extra kind to everyone every day. Make the effort. Say hi to the shy guy at school or work. Let someone cut in line on the freeway. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. Stay in school and discover what you really like. Don’t take courses that don’t interest you to please a parent or a friend. Try to make it all the way in your education. Be a success and not a dropout.
1Forgive yourself. Everyone makes terrible choices and past mistakes. You can only try to repair and/or learn from them. 2Start with your relationships. All the people in your life have something to teach you. Take one person in your life at a time and make a list of what they can educate you in. For example, your grandfather might teach you about history or the stock market or football. Your mother could teach you about cooking or some other interest. Even if what they know does not interest you-take the time and try to learn from everyone. Value them. 3Make sure the people in your life know how much you care and love them. Tell them and show it to them in different ways. 4Appreciate what you have. Write down 10 gifts (not material things) that you have been given. Post it somewhere you can see it everyday.
5Change any habits that hurt your body. Consuming too much sugar and fat in food, alcohol, drugs and lack of exercise and sleep will slowly kill you. When you are young, it is hard to understand how it can catch up to you when you are older. But it will. Count on it. 6Stop if you have been abusive, dishonest, neglectful or cruel to any person or animal. Stop. Make amends. It takes a strong person to say “I am sorry, forgive me.” However if the person wants nothing to do with you, back away and write them a letter to beg forgiveness. Healing takes time. They might never want to deal with you again but at least you were responsible for your past actions.
7Realise that life is messy and it is better to be open to change. You will be a happier and more relaxed human being. 8Focus more on relationships and interests and less on material things. If you spend your whole life worrying about your appearance or material goods, there will be deep regrets on what you did not pay attention to in life. 9Remember to avoid giving your time to people or activities that are worthless in the long run. If you are in a abusive relationship-get out. If you can’t get out-report them to other people or the law. You are wasting your life so try to go towards people and activities that make you feel fulfilled and happy.
10Spend as much time with your children as you can. Buying them things is not the same as just hanging out with them. Pay attention to the small things that they like. Try to accept them as the valuable people that they are. 11Wishing for what might have been is silly. Accept what you have and be grateful. 12Treat your mate in life like gold. Even your Ex. Don’t fight over money as relationships are more important. 13Realize that the world is made to fit all types of people, and everybody has a place somewhere to make a change. To start looking for a tomorrow, you must forget the past. The reasons are more important than the events. When you fight for your happiness, nothing can get in the way.
How To Live Life With No Regrets
Communication Motivation by Craig Dewe | 310 Shares
I’d imagine getting to the end of your life and realizing you have regrets is one of the most difficult feelings ever. To know that you’ve had your shot and there’s no way you’re going to get your life to live over again. That’s why it’s so important that you don’t miss out on opportunities along the way or fail to achieve your dreams. Despite this desire, most people reach the end of their life with a ton of regrets. Today we’re going to look at how your mindset will ensure you live life with no regrets.
Get Clear On What You Want
You probably have a rough idea of what you want to achieve in your life. While this will change over time it’s important to always keep it in the front of your mind. If you have random wishes and never put any focus on achieving them then it’s likely you’re going to regret this later. However if you know what you want and prioritize it in your life then you’re much more likely to achieve it. If you want to become a millionaire then go and find out what millionaires have done to achieve their goals and follow that path. If you want to be in a loving relationship then work out what character traits your ideal partner is likely to desire and start developing them in yourself. And remember that you’re in control of your entire life. No one is going to hand you your goals, dreams and wishes on a silver platter. If you want something then you have a responsibility to yourself to go out and make it happen.
Enjoy The Journey
Our society has become very results orientated and this can result in a lack of fulfillment in life. Happiness is not a goal that you reach. It’s a state that you can choose to live in every day no matter what’s going on around you. When you have things that you want to achieve in your life it’s important to remember that the end goal can be very disappointing if you approach it the wrong way. The key is to realize that the joy of life comes from the journey, not reaching the destination. If you really want to become an excellent piano player then it’s not about amazing an audience. It’s about the joy you feel when you’re playing the piano. Sure many days will feel frustrating but all people who have achieved great things fall in love with the journey to get what they want.
Failure Is An Option (And It’s Necessary)
The people with the most regrets in life are those that are afraid to fail. Nothing is achieved without failure at some point along the road. Therefore if you’re only going to take the easy road and try to avoid failure then you’re setting yourself up for a life of regrets. No one likes failing, making a mistake, saying the wrong thing or rejection. However they’re a natural and necessary part of the process called life. The people who are successful in living their lives with no regrets are the ones that fall down 9 times and get up 10. There is simply no other way to get what you want.
Be Open To New Opportunities
You have to be open to all the new opportunities around you, investigate them and see if they are something you want to add to your life. Famous hockey player Wayne Gretzky was famous for saying: “You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t take.” The same is true for opportunities. Every time you turn down your friends who want to try some new activity you are missing out on an opportunity. Every business idea you don’t examine, every attractive person you don’t approach is another opportunity that’s disappearing. Once you’ve investigated the opportunity that doesn’t mean you have to take it further. But you never want to be the person who reaches the end of their life saying “I wish I’d started a business” or “I wish I’d told that person how I really felt.”
What This Looks Like In Real Life
While learning the piano you’re going to spend years making mistakes; it’s called learning. This process applies to anything and everything you want to become skillful at. While becoming a millionaire you’re going to go through business failures, rejection and a ton of mistakes. Millionaires aren’t the people who hit it lucky. They’re the ones that kept going until they got what they wanted. Great relationships don’t come from movies where the stars align and you meet the perfect person. Great relationships come from two people who constantly evolve to become that perfect person for their partner on a daily basis. They work on themselves to be the best partner they can possibly be.
You Get To Choose Your Ideal Life
If you want to live a life free of regrets then simply decide what you really want and go out and get it. Continue striving, pushing, working and driving until you get what you want in your life.
Don’t let anything or anyone hold you back
13 Things You Should Do To Live Life Without Regrets
Life is way too short to live in regret. Nobody wants to grow old and wish they took advantage of all the opportunities the world threw at them when they were in their glory days. Luckily, the only person who can force you to live a life of regret is yourself. The world is full of wondrous experiences and rewards and you have the chance to earn them every day. Ridding yourself of regret means engaging in your passions and interests in the most extreme methods possible. It’s about fully engaging in the pleasures and activities that make you feel honored and privileged to be alive.
What you need to do is reevaluate your life and the direction it is going to make sure you don’t end up on your last day regretting many things and feeling like you have lived a worthless life. The saddest thing in the world is a life that never amounted to anything. If you need to turn things around so you will live a better life, you will be thankful to know that you always have the chance to do so. Below are the 13 things you should do to live a life with no regrets.
1. Give your life a purpose
The first thing you need to do is understand how important it is for you to give your life some sort of purpose. The idea of a routine-based lifestyle of monotony and numbness means every day is less meaningful than the previous one. Think about what you want to be remembered for, the impact you would want to have on the lives of others. Your purpose is what you can do to make the world a better place for yourself and those who share your passion. When you live for a purpose, you have the courage to make your own path in life and truly love what you do to better yourself as a person every day.
2. Stop wasting time
Many people love to use the term of tomorrow. They push everything to tomorrow but the problem is, tomorrow never comes to people that put off making a name for themselves. Stop lying to yourself and start prioritizing your life. Stop fooling around, it is your life you’re playing with, your
future and the future of those that matter most to you. Start today, the more you lie to yourself the worst it gets. “Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
3. Stop playing the victim card
There are two types of people in this world: those who just sit there and love to complain about how things never go their way and those who keep fighting and never put their head down. You need to stop playing the victim, even though the world does seem like it doesn’t want you to succeed at times. Own up to what you have done and the results that come from your work ethic. Find a solution to things rather than cry about the problem. No one is here to feel sorry for you. “You don’t make progress by standing on the sidelines, whimpering and complaining. You make progress by implementing ideas.” Shirley Hufstedler
4. Take advantage-each day is a new beginning
Your future is not determined by where you have been or the mistakes you have made or how many times you have failed. It is about where you are about to go and that is based on what you decide to do with each new day. Don’t let a bad day make you feel like you have a bad life. Learn from it and move forward, today is a brand new day and a new chance to become the best version of yourself possible.
5. No more excuses
There is so much wasted talent in this world. The reason for that is because people love making excuses when they don’t feel they were in control of what their talent brought them. The truth is, they were looking for the easy way out rather than taking the more complicated and stressful road that ultimately grants success to those who overcome its many obstacles. Stop looking for the easy way out. If you take the energy these people used to find the easy way out and actually apply it to the rough road instead, you will most definitely accomplish so much more. Look within and know there is something you can do better than anyone else. Find what that something is and share it with the whole world, for that’s where you will find happiness.
6. Stop comparing yourself to others
This is not high school anymore, therefore you shouldn’t be comparing yourself to others and how well they are doing in life. You are only responsible for what you do in your life so that should be your sole concern. You are unique and you have your own path to walk on. Your journey will be just as exciting and filled with self discovery as it possibly could be. Life is not about being better than others, it is about being better than you used to be.
7. Stop sabotaging yourself
People unintentionally sabotage their own chances for success all the time. We say we want something and the moment we feel it’s coming our way we get scared, so we start sabotaging ourselves in one way or another and this usually happens at the subconscious level. The only thing you should fear is fear itself.
8. Stop the what if
“Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.” – Steve Jobs Don’t live your life based off what could have or should have been. Live it based off conviction and confidence in your decisions and a positive outcome. You will never know how well you do at anything if you don’t have the balls to try. Have courage and don’t be afraid of failing or looking stupid. The one who can say they had the courage to try can never be judged by the peanut gallery that is too afraid to amount to anything in their lives.
9. Step out of your comfort zone
Your comfort zone is there for you to step out of it. Get comfortable with the uncomfortable. When you are too comfortable that means you are not challenging yourself enough. Take it to the next level and allow your mind to expand by experiencing your interests at a more in-depth level. Don’t be afraid to try new things, you can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.
10. Don’t be afraid to ask questions
In order to grow as a human being, you need to ask questions and always challenge the status quo. Nobody was born having the answer to everything.
It’s okay not to know, so don’t be afraid to ask questions. The person who does not ask questions is a fool forever.
11. Improve yourself at all times
There are so many resources in today’s world for you to learn more about what you want to get out of life. Take the opportunity to always be learning. Learn about the way the industry that attracts you operates so you don’t ever stay stagnant. Use your time to make yourself a more knowledgeable, worldly, and capable human being. Be as prepared as you possibly could be for the upcoming tests of will, adaption and intelligence on the path to success.
12. Find a mentor
Nobody in the history of man was able to build Rome in one day all by themselves. They had someone older and wiser guide them along the way. Having a mentor can help you answer questions that you will be asked in the job you dream of having and prepare you for the curvballs life that will come your way if you indeed pursue this dream. This person will instill you with information that will prevent you from making all the mistakes they made trying to do something similar to what you want to do. Find someone who inspires you and take their advice very seriously. They have been there before and they know what you can do to increase your chances for success.
13. Don’t ever give up on yourself
No matter how hard life may seem and no matter what happens to you, don’t give up on your dreams and your ability to reach them. Have faith in yourself and know that, just like Dale Carnegie said it: “Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” Winners never quit or give up, that is why they are winners. You should be trying new ways to get what you want and messing up in the process every day because that means you are pushing yourself and your boundaries. The juice is unquestionably worth the squeeze when it comes to making your mark on this world. You will not realize how strong you are as a person until you refuse to put your head down when it seems that all the odds are against you.
Your life is purely based off what you do with it. If you want to live a life full of regrets, don’t take our advice. But if you want to be important, valuable, elite, follow these 13 things to create your own destiny.
How to Live Without Regret in 2013
It’s been said that “regret is insight that comes a day too late.”For many of us, this insight comes decades too late. We reach a point in our life and look back wishing we had taken a different path, lived a more meaningful life, acted more authentically.This is what nurse Bronnie Ware learned during her years working in palliative care. As her patients approached the end of their lives, she often asked them what they would have done differently.The number one thing they mentioned was this:”I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”Wow! Ware’s patients were honest. Facing the specter of finality demands honesty, and they expressed what many of us secretly yearn for — to live a life of our choosing, one that is not controlled by fear or guilt or about what other people think.Psychologists call this need autonomy — which is simply our natural desire to do things because we want to, not because we are forced to.
Personal autonomy is among a handful of psychological nutriments that, like their physiological counterparts, are essential ingredients to a healthy, high-performance life. It’s only by doing what you love, of your own choosing that you become what you are meant to be. But autonomy does not mean independence. We are also hardwired to interact and care for others — to feel connected and know that we belong to something greater than ourselves. Think about your most meaningful experiences. We bet you shared them with others.And herein lies the challenge. How to balance the me with the we. We yearn for self-expression and self-direction, yet are drawn to other people. We want to pursue our own, personal goals and care for those around us. It takes courage to balance these two competing needs — to be true to ourselves and others. However, it is only here that we can live without regret.Here’s how to do it. First, identify what it is that you long for most in your life — your vision of the “good life.” One of the best exercises for identifying this vision is to picture your deathbed experience and then work backward to today.
While metaphorically laying on your deathbed, ask yourself these two questions: “What is my legacy?” and “Who is there with me?”These two questions challenge you to recognize your core values. The first question pushes you to choose your own destiny — autonomy in action. The second challenges you to recognize who matters most in your life — love in action. Now begin working backward to today. What are major milestones (specific goals achieved) that you would need to accomplish along the way? These should be professional and personal — what you want to achieve in work and life. Begin mapping in your mind your accomplishments, from future to present. Second, draw a line horizontally across a sheet of paper. On the top write “professional” and on the bottom write “personal.” Moving from left (today) to right (future), write down your above determined milestones. This gives you a map of accomplishments for your journey.
Initially, the various stages of your journey may appear vague, a little undefined. As you continue to reflect upon specific goals and experience small successes, the means to achievement becomes more evident. Start walking your path; it is in movement that your vision continues to unfold and unexpected opportunities present themselves.Third, make a proclamation. Say out loud the vision that you have discovered for yourself. This is a type of name-it-and-claim-it experience. Write it down and share it with others. Make your expectations known. Now you own it. Fourth, work toward your vision without regret. You’ll discover here what many have experienced before you — that the journey toward the goal, moving toward the vision, with all the ups and downs, is actually the best part of the process.
As you pursue your dreams, be ever mindful of writer Lloyd Alexander’s affirmation that “the journey is the treasure.”As far as we know, no one has arrived at their deathbed without missed opportunities, failed goals, and relationship blunders. Everyone misses it. However, successful people will tell you that their ability to persevere, embracing the “we and me” experiences along the way, happens because they are in the driver’s seat of their destiny.Resolve today to live without regret. Don’t wait for tomorrow, next week, or the new year. It is in our daily experiences that we discover who we are and what we can become. Own your own destiny and become who you were designed to be. J.R.R. Tolkien perhaps sums it up best,”The greatest adventure is what lies ahead. Today and tomorrow are yet to be said.
The chances, the changes are all yours to make. The mold of your life is in your hands to break.” A study was performed on elderly individuals a few years back. The study showed that there are many people who regret the things they didn’t have the courage to do, but only a few who had regrets about the things that they did.
Taking this study into consideration, let’s assume that tomorrow is the last day of your life. Would you have any regrets regarding the things you did or did not do?
What I want to point out through this mental exercise is that you should review your life in advance – before it’s too late and you start having regrets. If you are not exactly sure how to do that, then here is a list that could help you turn things around so you will live a life free of regrets. I would also love to know which of these 13 things you found the most challenging.
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