The Experience of Vietnam War in Tim O'Brien's If I Die in a Combat Zone

In Tim O'Brien's book “If I Die in a Combat Zone”, he puts his experiences in the Vietnam War into written perspective. O'Brien goes into detail about the conflicts and demons that he had to face both internally and externally during the war. In “If I Die in a Combat Zone", Tim O'Brien argued to get the point across that the Vietnam War had deteriorated his and his fellow soldiers’ minds due to the soldiers feeling the need bear the responsibility of serving their country, and the constant back and forth mental conflict of wanting to leave the war but needing to stay, and the scars left on the minds of the soldiers that had served in the war.

Throughout the story, the underlying conflict remains constant that O'Brien really does not want to go to war, and is trying to find a way to get out. The reader sees these in the times where he wishes to find a way out of the war such as trying to escape from military training, but every time O'Brien sees an opportunity arise for his leave, something holds him back from doing so, and that something is the responsibility for their service to their country that O'Brien, as well as his fellow soldiers, hold to themselves.

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Many would define these feelings as patriotism alone, but it feels more as if O'Brien is afraid of disappointing others and facing the shame of not serving his country in its time of need. O'Brien, as mentioned in the earlier parts of the book, was raised by World War 2 veterans, which also serves as another example of people that O'Brien does not want to disappoint.

These consequences for refusing to serve his country could very well lead to rejection by loved ones who served previously to him as well as rejection by the country that he had sworn to protect, which seems to be what O'Brien is afraid of the most.

O'Brien is not the only one is this state of mind in which he carries the responsibility of his country on his back in fear of rejection, but many other soldiers who were fighting the same battle faced these inner conflicts as well.

In parallel to the previous paragraph, the constant back and forth thinking between staying in the army and leaving is not at all healthy for the mental state of a soldier. We see O'Brien attempt to find a way out of the military on several different occasions, but never makes the choice to leave once the opportunity presents itself, with O'Brien constantly weighing the options and attempting to figure out rather leaving or going is better is going to lead to distraction and loss of focus on what really matters, which is the war that is being fought. A mind that is not focused on current conflicts outside of one and rather focused on internal conflicts can ultimately draw the line between life and death on the battlefield, which leads to even more mental scarring in the end. With O'Brien undecided if he wants to stay or leave the service, it leaves him with a sense of insecurity around his comrades. We see O'Brien attempt to compensate for this by trying to be the "funny guy” and bring humor and joy to his other soldiers, but inside O'Brien's mind, this is his way of making sure that nobody assumes him of his current inner conflicts which he is trying so hard to hide. We see O'Brien make one last attempt to flee the military, but he doesn't leave yet again. This serves to show, once again, that O'Brien is so conflicted and wrapped up into something that he really doesn't want to be involved in, but he is so afraid of disappointing those around him that he cannot make the choice to leave.

O'Brien eventually ends up going to war on the battlefield, experiencing many things no human should have to witness in a lifetime, and ultimately lives and is brought back home in a non-combat position. On paper, this sounds of what O'Brien wanted all along, not to fight and to stay home, but the things he had witnessed, seen, and had to do while deployed scar his mind. He is unable to enjoy his return home as a hero as the war had finally taken a heavy toll on his mind, leaving him as a shell of his former self. What O'Brien had been exposed to in the war, combined with the stresses that O'Brien faced before even being deployed and the uncertainty of wanting to stay or not, leads to loads of mental damage as a result. This is not only seen in O'Brien, but many veterans back then and still today, suffering from the memories and visuals etched into their mind by the wars and battles that they had fought in. This is what O'Brien wanted the readers to see; that this problem of emotional and mental scarring of soldiers who went to battle in war still very much exists today in our veterans and men and women who served or currently serve in our active militaries. The mental toll that these wars take on these soldiers can completely change a person from who they once were for the worse, leaving them a shell of their former selves.

What war does to men mentally often extracts a heavier price from them than what the war had done to them physically, which was the ultimate point that O'Brien had wanted to get across. War, as a whole, leaves wounds that cannot be healed and can ultimately change a person from who they truly were before they went to war. What scars are shown on the outside of these warriors hold nothing to what it has done to them on the inside. O'Brien wanted his readers to know that war, and the results of it, leave unhealable scars on the minds of which it touches, and the scars that remain will ultimately never heal.