At some point we’ve all always said to ourselves that you can’t fall in love with a white, black, Hindu, Sikh or even a Muslim, guy because of the consequence it would have on your dad’s izaat. Yea it’s the whole ‘honour’ issue. How can we put our father name to disgrace? But isn’t love stronger than honour? Well only you as an individual can answer that. But for Heshu and Sadhia, this day dream became a horrific nightmare, when they had to face up to the disgrace they bought there family.
In the winter issue of Asiana, we reported the tragedy of Heshu Yones a 16 year old who was brutally murdered by her father Abdullah.
He admitted to stabbing his daughter to death because he claimed that she was becoming westernised. Heshu was described as lively and loving and had decided to run away with 18 year old Lebanese teacher. It was also reported that she was suffering abuse by her father leading up to her death.
She left a message to her parents saying: “me and you will probably never understand each other, but I’m sorry I wasn’t what you wanted, but there are some things you can’t change. Hey, for an older man you have a good strong punch and kick.
I hope you enjoyed testing your strength on me, it was fun being on the receiving end. Well done. ” This tragedy was only the causes of the fusion of two cultures.
Abdullah Yones tried to take his life, by slitting his own throat and jumping of the balcony after killing his daughter, but failed. He has been sentenced to life imprisonment. According to Scotland Yard there was 12 ‘honour killing’ last year in the UK, but it wasn’t just the Muslim community who were involved, also the Sikh, and Christian communities, who also carried out honour killings.
Amongst the tragedies of honour killings Sadhia’s boyfriend was murdered. Sixteen year old Sadhia and her boyfriend Rexhap Hasni, an Albanian Christian asylum seeker, were planning to get married. When the family were informed, the father decided to kill his daughter’s lover in order to restore his family’s honour. Alluring him into the East London factory and making out that his daughter needed a prosperous future; Rexhap Hasni was suffocated to death by the use of an electric flex after a week working for his supposed father-in-law.
The reason for murdering Hasni, 22 was because he wouldn’t allow her to marry another faith. He was sentenced by the old Bailey. It’s a terrible story and a misfortune to the loved one of Yones and Sadhia, but this is increasingly affecting the lives of many Young British Muslims. The battle of the culture- is it east meets west or the trigger of the argument you have with your parents! – “the effect of living in multi-cultural Britain” Confused being bought up in the western and eastern world is the cause of these deaths.
People who’s parent are from Pakistan. Indian, Bangladesh, and other parts of the world who have bought there children up in a western world, cannot expect their children to have a Pakistani culture is the reason for the unfortunate tragedy of Heshu Yones. Although mix religion/culture marriages are being accepted, I don’t think the society of ‘Asians’ will really ever accept it! The fusion of the two cultures has caused confusion amongst the younger generation and that’s the effect of living in multi cultural Britain.
It’s just not culture that effects are living and relationship with our parents, it’s every we are, sometimes they won’t accept it! History of Arrange marriages However believe it on not arrange marriages have been around for ages. It’s only the age of my parents that reminds me of the fact that arrange marriages have been around for a long time. Arrange marriages aren’t really a part of religion, but more culture orientated especially in Islam. According to statistics, 95 per cent of marriages in India are arranged.
It wasn’t so common in ancient India, but over several years it had become common as it was unsafe to bring up a daughter in a community were there were frequent abduction of daughters. As of the abduction the age of parents giving away their daughter became younger as they wanted to protect the virginity of their daughters. So young that both bride and groom were cradle bond, this is Hindi was called “val vivaha. ” This no longer is in practice, but the arrange marriage aspect of it has been preserved.
Arrange marriage was a form of preserving caste in India. The preservation of caste reflects 21st century arrange marriage; marriage is only head if the groom and bride are from same religion and cultural background. Arrange marriage today is very different and the perspective bride and groom have much more of a say than they used to Your opinions- When speaking to a selective group of Asian girls aged 16and older they didn’t give a straight answer, many of them found it difficult to say yes or no, instead they gave me the pros and cons to arrange marriages.
Hazra aged 16 had this to say ‘Arranged marriage are a good ides and benefit all people involved. Parents are happy, you have a choice if you want to marry the guy or girl, it really your decision. ‘ We can only question one thing in what she has said and that would be, is your parents happiness, more important than your! This is just an everyday question that we have to tackle before making the ‘right decision.
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