Sister And My Younger Brother

Categories: My Younger Brother

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I Believe in Faith being Stronger than Fear

I believe that faith is stronger than fear. For me fear comes in the form of anxiety. When I was seventeen, I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder and panic disorder. Anxiety disorder is excessive, ongoing anxiety. Panic disorder is having a sudden episode of intense fear that triggers severe physical reactions when there is no real danger or apparent cause. I have suffered from worrying all my life because both of my parents suffer from addiction, and that left me in charge of taking care of my siblings.

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Due to this, my whole life I always felt I needed to be perfect and in control. For the first half of my life I took care of my triplet brother and sister and my younger brother. However, some of the stress and burden was taken off my shoulders when my mom got better. Then when I was fourteen my alcoholic dad and his girlfriend had my baby brother.

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Through my freshman and junior year, I was forced to take care of a baby, while my dad drank, and his girlfriend got high. Also, I lost both of my grandparents in two years. This was so hard because my grandparents raised me and gave me stability when my parents could not. Finally, in the second half of my junior year I had a complete mental breakdown, affecting me physically. I was not able to go to school for the last month, I lost fifteen pounds because I could not eat, and I slept a lot.

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I was having panic attacks every day that left me feeling nauseous, tired, and in a constant state of worry about when the next panic attack would be. I was not able to take my SAT and thought all my hard work was for nothing. To get better mentally and physically I began to take medicine and started therapy. Both helped me tremendously.

I did not start to feel true peace until I established a relationship with God. I began to pray daily and read the Bible. I began to go to mass every week with my grandpa’s sister, aunt Maryann. My aunt Maryann showed me church was somewhere I could always go. It meant a lot to me that my aunt brought me back to God, because as a child she was the one who first introduced me to Him.

I know that without God I would not be here today at TCU finishing my first semester of college. My faith in God gets me through my fears and anxiety. Because of my faith I know I am never alone because God is always with me. I can turn to God and talk to him whenever and about whatever. I know that no matter what God will love me, never judge me, and never turn me away. What faith did for me is described in Psalm 34:4 “I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears.” Thank you, God.

Two things that we have studied that can be connected to this is the Black Church and the Civil Rights Movement, and Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I’ve Been to the Mountaintop” Speech. The Civil Rights Movement was a political goal achieved through religion. The heart of the movement was the black church. The movement merges the Bible with democracy. African Americans thought of their story as the modern Exodus and that God was inspiring MLK as he inspired Moses. In the late 60s religion moved from personal salvation to a social gospel, which came from the movement who refused to accept the Gospel as simply a message of personal redemption. African Americans apart of the movement were going up against discrimination, slavery, prejudice, and racism. They used their faith to give them hope.

MLK’s “I’ve Been to the Mountaintop” was just an example of his faith inspiring him during fearful moments. He gives this speech to support Memphis sanitation workers. Many people who were a part of the movement were being attacked with fire hoses and dogs. MLK tells people trying to stop them that he and other civil rights protestors are not afraid because they have God. MLK says he is fine with dying if it is God’s will. MLK dies the next day. MLK died for his faith and to help create change that would lead to others having better lives. MLK did not even care if he was not alive to see it, which is true sacrifice.