NFL Season Opener: The Exciting Commencement of Football Frenzy

Categories: Satire

It is that time of year again; the NFL is kicking off another season. Millions of guys are all set to get settled in their preferred chair and spend each Sunday afternoon in their underpants, enjoying hours upon hours of NFL games and highlights. It is likewise time for spouses and girlfriends to carefully prepare and bring out sexual affairs, primarily with foreign men who have little or no interest in American football.

Sally resides in downtown Pittsburgh and her spouse is a big fan of the Pittsburgh Steelers.

"He sees every game, every highlight, and every report. He does not miss out on anything, which offers me time to have an affair with Simon, my British enthusiast", she told reporters.

Like Sally, a growing number of American females now eagerly anticipate the NFL season, instead of dreading it as they have in the past. "I used to get so upset during football season", stated Sally, "and now, it's a good time for both people.

Get quality help now
checked Verified writer

Proficient in: Football

star star star star 4.7 (657)

“ Really polite, and a great writer! Task done as described and better, responded to all my questions promptly too! ”

avatar avatar avatar
+84 relevant experts are online
Hire writer

He gets to watch all of the games, and I get to have an affair". In 2015, Sally suggested to several of her girlfriends that they too, have an affair during the NFL season. From this, a new subculture was born.

"At first, I wasn't sure if I should", said Sally's friend, Allison. A few weeks later, just after the pre-season, Allison found herself on a date with Simon's friend, Ron. Days later, an affair began between the two. "It's nice" says Allison, "Ron doesn't care about football, I have my affair, then season is over and I can get back to my relationship with my husband.

Get to Know The Price Estimate For Your Paper
Number of pages
Email Invalid email

By clicking “Check Writers’ Offers”, you agree to our terms of service and privacy policy. We’ll occasionally send you promo and account related email

"You must agree to out terms of services and privacy policy"
Write my paper

You won’t be charged yet!

Everybody wins this way".

Marriage experts frown on what is being called "gridiron affairs", but acknowledge that in some cases, it can keep a relationship or a marriage together. "Some men really do care way too much about the NFL", says relationship specialist Dr. Parker. "Having the affairs may keep wives and girlfriends from getting angry and resentful, and therefore keep an otherwise healthy relationship together." Parker stresses that there are better ways to deal with the NFL season, such as planning a night together
each week when football is not televised.

Sally and Allison, however, plan to continue their "football flings" as long as their husbands insist on watching hours of football each week. "No way am I giving up Simon", says Sally. "Not until my husband stops loving football, which isn't likely to happen anytime soon ".

Updated: Apr 29, 2023
Cite this page

NFL Season Opener: The Exciting Commencement of Football Frenzy. (2017, Jun 03). Retrieved from

NFL Season Opener: The Exciting Commencement of Football Frenzy essay
Live chat  with support 24/7

👋 Hi! I’m your smart assistant Amy!

Don’t know where to start? Type your requirements and I’ll connect you to an academic expert within 3 minutes.

get help with your assignment