What Makes Your Child Difficult?
What Makes Your Child Difficult?
The difficult child is the child who is unhappy. He is at war with himself, & in consequence he is at war with the whole world. A difficult child is nearly always made difficult by wrong treatment. The conditioned, disciplined, repressed child lives in every corner of the world. He is docile, prone to obey authority, fearful of criticism and almost fanatical in his desire to be conventional & correct. He accepts almost he has been taught without question. Adults take it for granted that a child should be taught to behave in such a way that the adults will have as quiet life as possible. Hence the importance attached to obedience, to manner, to docility. Very often it seems impossible to understand the child & his behavior & the main & the most difficult thing to understand is the reason why the child behaves in such a way. There are some factors that govern the child’s behavior. Analyzing these factors we can answer what makes the children difficult. First of all every parent should pay attention on his child’s temperament. Certain children are hard wired to be difficult. Some children are naturally hot tempered.
Some children are placid. Some are very flexible and others are resistant to change. These are basic personality characteristics that are part of the child’s internal world. These traits don’t come about as a result of what goes on in the child’s life. Every child is born with them. Included in this category are natural abilities and disabilities that the child may possess. Your child may be very smart or he may have eye-hand coordination difficulties that are causing him problems. All the natural abilities and weaknesses of the child combine to create his temperament. Everything he sees and all his reactions will be shaped by his temperament. Still, the child’s temperament is not static. It can be changed. The child can change many aspects of his basic temperament. But it will take an active effort. He will need to choose to do so. The next important factor is the relationship between children & their parents.
Parents are the most influential people in the child’s life. They are the examples for their children. & of cause children’s wellbeing depends on their parents’ love & attention. Parents must be on their child’s side. Being on the side of the child is giving love to the child-not possessive love-not sentimental-just behaving to the child in such a way the child feels you love him & approve him. All children need affection. Of all the function of the family that of providing an affectionate background for childhood and adolescence has never been more important than it is today. One more important thing that influences on the child’s behavior is the temperament of his parents. As have been discussed, parents are the most important persons in the child’s life. So how parents react to their child is of paramount importance.
And just as the child’s temperament affects how he behaves, parents’ temperament affects how they behave. And now we have come maybe to the most influential factor that can turn a child into a difficult one. That is family environment. Home plays many parts in the life of the growing child, it is the natural source of affection, the place where he can live with the sense of security, it educates him in all sorts of ways, provides him with his opportunities of recreation, it affects his status in society. Moreover the behavior of the child depends on the people that surround him. The life of an only child is very different from the life of a child with older and younger siblings. Family relationships, whether you are a single parent or married, whether your child has natural or step siblings etc. will effect dramatically your child’s environment.
If the child has a sibling who is disabled or one who is outstandingly successful, if parents are happily married or if there is marital stress or divorce- all these things will determine how much stress the child has and how much he can endure on a daily basis. When parents step back and look carefully at the major factors that determine how their child reacts, they will have a much better understanding of why their child does what he does. Parents will not be able to change a lot of these factors, but if they understand exactly what is going on, they should be able to predict and sidestep many of the negative reactions and behaviors that their child has.
Ideal parents Raising a child can be very difficult. Children learn how to be adults from none other than adults themselves. Parents need to be willing to teach their children. In my opinion, there are key things that a parent needs to do to be a “good” or even an ideal parent. Parents need to be good listeners. They are sometimes too quick to judge their children’s actions and words that they do not hear them cry for love, attention or help. Parents need to listen to their child’s feelings and reactions to things. Also, they need to let them have their own opinions and voice them too. They should look at their child and show them that they are listening to them. Understanding their point of view and where they are coming from also will help one to be a good parent. If parents want their child to do what is right, I think that they need to set an example by also doing what is right. Children should be taught how to be responsible, caring, hardworking and patient from watching and learning these traits from their parents.
Making time and traditions for your family is another part of being a good parent. True, many parents do have to work a lot to provide their family with the things they need. Spoiling children does not mean parents don’t need to show love and spend quality time with their kids. Parents should invest time, not money into their children. Children shouldn’t have to ask if they are important to their parents to know. They should just know. The time a parent puts into their family and the traditions they have will always be there. Parents should respect their child’s interests and get involved in their life. They should participate in activities that they all can enjoy. Parents should try out new things that their child likes. Unconditional Love is the key to being an ideal parent. Parents need to love their children no matter what.
If a child doubts a parent’s love for them, the parent is not being a good one. Moreover an ideal parent should be committed. This quality should already be implanted before marriage because a parent should realize that he or she would carry the burden of taking care of the children’s well-being; for instance, in terms of providing emotional and financial supports. A parent who is not committed would not be willing to fulfill his or her duty as a parent and this would result in a downfall of the family. Being firm and well-disciplined are essential qualities an ideal parent should have.
To develop a child to be a well-behaved and well-mannered individual, a parent should correct a child’s wrongdoings so that useful values could be instilled into the child. A parent should never be too lenient towards a child, so much so that, the child becomes too pampered and may become complacent. An ignorant parent would create an ignorant child. This child would then be making mistakes through his or her life and this may result in a self-destruction to the family. That is why, a parent must guide the children to the right path so that they would enjoy a bright future ahead.
Is TV a national disease? For many time Television plays an important role in our life. We can see TVs practically everywhere: at home, in pubs & clubs, in shops, in sport clubs etc. Every day millions of people watch different programs on TV. In general we can’t imagine our live without television. In such circumstances many people suppose that TV can become a national disease. Every man or woman spends their day in a different way, but all people sleep, eat, work & watch TV. About a third of all man’s life is his leisure time, during which people are free to occupy themselves in any way they see fit. In our great-grandfathers’ days the choice of entertainment was strictly limited, but nowadays there is an enormous variety of things to do. The vast majority of the population though seem to be quite content to spend their evenings watching TV. It draws us away from active spending of our time like going to the cinema, the theatre or reading good books.
The great boom in television’s popularity is destroying the art of conversation. It means that very often while talking with the other person we have no more things to discuss except films or other tv programs. As a result television has had a beneficial rather than a detrimental effect on conversational habits: at least people have something to talk about. Families do not communicate their feelings and do not exchange impressions. Children do what they want because parents do not talk with them. Parents are often too busy working or taking care of the home, to monitor exactly what their children are watching at all time. Many times TV set becomes a substitute parents even a friend. More disturbing is the possible effect on people’s mind & attitudes. A lot of people who watch TV are telly addicts, because television is a thief of our time. When we watch, the time goes faster, and we have not got it for things that are more important for us.
There seems to be a particular risk of television bringing a sense of unreality into all our lives. But if television is dulling our reactions to violence & tragedy, it can also be said to be broadening people’s horizons by introducing them to new ideas & activities-ideas that may eventually lead them into new hobbies & pastimes. Telly is the most important source of information about what is happens in every corner of the world. There are many discussions about political and economical situation in country and about some others things. TV is necessary for people who like to know what is going on in politics. But sometimes television do irreparable harm. It has become one of the major sources of political propaganda. Lately there has been a vast increase in educative programs.
You can do sports with TV, learn foreign languages, study history, geography, cooking and many other things. Moreover you can become a viewer of many different real or imaginary events & situations. The good point in TV is the materials which presents on TV are usually easy to assimilate and often are used by students at school and by teachers during the lessons. Television, arguably the most important invention of the 20th century, is bound to be exerting a major influence on the life of the modern man for as long as one dare predict: that it will also continue to grow in popularity as the years go by is virtually certain. Yet in arousing hitherto unknown interests- challenging to its own hold over the lethargic minds of its devotees- it is not inconceivable that television may be sowing the seeds of its own downfall.
The problems of the young
Problems affecting young generation cover a wide range of activities from education, health and housing to employment, criminal justice and participation in public life. These problems of young reflect the problems of society as a whole entity, because our tomorrow day in greatly part depends on how our young generation will be and how it will be able to cope with difficulties of life. That’s why there is an acute need to consider them with more attention and focus, this means an increasingly important role for youth policy within main stream politics which requires a more integrated approach to the needs of young people, intensified contact with youth organizations and further involvement in practical activities such as youth work, non-formal approaches to education, volunteering and development. Young people have to be considered as a resource for society. But first of all, to deal with the problems, they need to be recognized and studied in a fundamental approach, to identify main cause and eradicate it in the very beginning.
In world today, millions of young people suffer from a range of problems which are increasingly related to economic, social and cultural, rather than political issues. Sadly, young people are more likely to be affected by poverty and other results of the high unemployment levels and social difficulties, than adults. Another Problem is education access. Education is considered by many people as the only way to ensure the integration of young people into social life and to lead them out of poverty. Indeed, with the constantly growing technical progress, more and more of uneducated are left outskirt of modern economy and behind of poverty line. In fact it is true to say that today’s young people are better educated than the youngsters of any of the preceding generations.
However, there is still much to do, as recent experience showed to ensure the only access to education system is not enough, it also needs to be harmonized more with the labor market. Finding a job is one more problem for the young people. They are inexperienced enough to get a good job but they have not enough money to live a normal independent live being low paid. It’s also refer to the housing. Nowadays accommodation costs much so it’s difficult to find a house of a flat appropriate for a young man if he had not enough money to buy it. In many countries this problem is still actual because in their policy there is no solution to this matter.
Emotional problems for young people can be far more difficult than financial ones. The typical teenager problem is drug-habit. Some young man use drugs, because they think that will be cool guys. But they don’t understand, that it’s wrong. Some of them can’t stop that, and they become dependent on drugs. And they commit different serious crimes, because they need some money to buy drugs. Youth is also the time to meet your first love. It is, of course, wonderful, but, as it is widely known that first love often has an unhappy end, this also increases young people’s problems. We also face the problem how to spend our free time. We can do it in different ways. Some of teen-ages spend their free time in different night clubs. Other young people spend their free time in the streets.
Another typical problem for most of the teen-ages is problem with their parents. Happiness or unhappiness of any family mostly depends on relations in it. So many families so many family relations. Each family establishes its own relations in its own way. It has its own traditions & customs & its own unwritten constitution including rights & duties of every member of the family. The level of democracy is also different in different families, which mostly depends on the viewpoints of adults usually not coinciding with a child’s point of view. So the problem of misunderstanding becomes urgent. Some people can it generation gap. It as a rule sharpens as soon as a child approaches his or her difficult teens.
And both sides (parents & children) should be patient & tactful & it’s the only way to settle down all the problems & stay friends. Parents say that its difficult to discipline children. But experts state that parents will get the best results if they try to prevent or stop misbehavior in natural, logical & when possible fun ways. So, as you see, it is very difficult to be young nowadays, as it always was. But you only can be young once, & some wonderful things can happen only when you’re young. So, should enjoy youth while it lasts.
University/College: University of California
Type of paper: Thesis/Dissertation Chapter
Date: 29 September 2016
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