House of Sand and Fog Sense of Self

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House of Sand and Fog sense of self essay In House of Sand and Fog by Andre Dubus III, the author states an epigraph in the beginning of the novel from (“ The Balcony” by Octavio Paz): “Beyond myself/ somewhere/ I wait for my arrival. ” This epigraph defines ones sense of self and Behrani, Kathy, and Lester in House of Sand and Fog all have a sense of self in some way. It may not be clear at first but the author burn’s an image of each character’s personality into the readers head.

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By the end of the novel it becomes quite clear of which character feels right at home with their sense of self and that Lester has the clearest sense of self. Dubus makes it clear through the novel that Behrani’s sense of self is to return his current status back to what he once had in Iran and to make his family respect him like before.

Behrani is forced to leave his country and had move to California in search of an aerospace industry job. He wants to get his life back in order and live a similar life to the one he lived in Iran.

The author first draws our attention to when Behrani states “I do not know if it was the glass of champagne my Nadi drank, or if it was because Esmail had fallen asleep early before his television in his room, or if it was simply the joyful news of the real estate appraiser who I hired to come here yesterday, the news I thank god for and cannot yet believe, that this bungalow is worth four times what I paid for it and the appraiser sees no difficulty in our finding a buyer for it, especially with the new widow’s walk that will overlook the sea”(page68-69).

Behrani takes every risk that no other would take.

He spends almost all the money under his name to buy the house just so he can change his life around and become wealthy like he was as a Savak colonial. Even though Behrani is trying to get his wealth and power he isn’t complete without respect. According to the author when Behrani is talking about his son Esmail, “He has seen me leave dressed in a suit and he knows I work two jobs, and that is all he knows, and many nights at this convenience store, even though it is situated two towns to the north of us, I have worried about his older schoolmates with driver’s licenses making this discovery”(page 33).

Behrani doesn’t want Esmail to know that he does poor persons work to make a living. He dresses like a business man to trick Esmail that he has a high end job. Bahrani plans on not telling him and changing jobs that gives better pay so that Esmail has high respect and belief for his dad. Even though Behrani has a strong sense of self in the end he cannot conclude both power and respect. Nadi notes “ You want this home for you. You. You could never live in the street because there no one would respect you, Behrani, and you need everyone to respect you, even strangers must respect you.

Here your uniform means nothing and this is killing you”(page 285). She loses respect for Behrani because he put the whole family in danger to satisfy his sense of self. Even with that said from his wife he still won’t give up on the house and this leads to the death of his son. This is when Behrani knows that he has pushed this too far end takes his wife’s and his own life. Behrani’s sense of self becomes corrupt and there for isn’t very clear. In this novel Kathy’s sense of self isn’t very clear as she wants to prove to her family that she isn’t a failure but at the same time becomes one.

This sense of self first becomes an idea to the reader when Kathy loses her house and doesn’t tell anyone. She has had a horrible past with drug and alcohol addiction. Her family knew about it which gave them an idea of what kind of person Kathy is. At the same time Kathy makes them think there’s hope by overcoming her addictions from going to drug rehab and AA groups. Dubus shows key examples that support how Kathy hides the truth. At one point Kathy utters to Lester “’Anyway, we never should have been charged a tax at all, and I only own half of the house in the first place.

My lawyer’s confident, though, so I’m trying not to harp on the negative. ’” ‘Your husband hold the rest? ’ ‘My brother. He doesn’t know about any of this yet. No one does’”(page 52). She is scared to tell her family about the house because she knows they’ll think she has no hope and is a disappointment. Another example that author draws our attention to is when Kathy wrote back to her mom,“Hi Ma, I’m sorry I haven’t called you. A bad earth tremor rolled through here last week and a tree hit the phone lines down the street.

As soon as they’re fixed I’ll let you know. Also , that’s good news about your coming out here but Nick and I won’t be in town this weekend. He’s taking me on a business trip. Sorry to miss you”(page 147). Kathy purposely lies so that her mom doesn’t visit and notice how much trouble Kathy’s in. Dubus makes it truly obvious to the reader that Kathy’s sense of self changes by the end of the novel. A Significant factor is when Kathy says “She stops dealing and looks up at me, her dark eyes waiting, though she has never heard me speak, and I nod at her ack of Marlboro Lights. At first she doesn’t seem to understand what I want, but then I smile, and put the fingers to my lips”(page 365). Kathy becomes at ease finally and finds her true sense of self in prison where she no longer has to prove to her mom that she’s not a failure. Lester’s sense of self is to satisfy the pain that he suffers from throughout his entire life; as well as please his needs and wants even if he has to be selfish. Lester first points out “ But always it was the same—“Burdone maricon! Burdone maricon! —and Lester would try and avoid the fight as long as possible. First he would deny to himself that that was where this name-calling was really going; he would try to smile off whatever insult was coming his way, and only when he felt the push of hands on his chest would he push back, hoping that would be enough, which it never was, and he would hold up fists he had no faith in only to be knocked to the ground, where he would stay curled up waiting for a teacher or someone to break it up or for the bully to lose interest and disappear.

But they rarely did”(page 232). It’s apparent that Lester’s sense of self entered his life when he was young and in high school. He was bullied and picked on because he was quiet and had a lanky body figure. This created a buildup of hate and anger toward people he disliked. He shows some of his sense of self when Dubus draws our attention to “he’d squeeze the cuffs on to tight, then pull him by the wrists to his feet. If he cried out, Lester would lean close to his ear and tell him to shut up”(page 233).

He does the littlest things like put handcuffs on too tight when he arrested criminals, or purposely hit their heads on the door frame while putting them in the back seat of the patrol car. Lester did this because he knew he had control of the situation. His actions show his true sense of self when the author reveals “Lester feeling he was being x-rayed, that this computer graphic of his face, this jailhouse mugshot, was really him, the true Lester”(page 341). Lester finds his true sense of self when he is taking his mugshot.

He knows he is a criminal and then he becomes satisfied with his condition. Dubus uses specific events that each main character deals with to prove which has the clearest sense of self. Behrani destroys his family by not giving up on the house. He does this by being too greedy and wanting his power of wealth. He realizes he lost his respect making his sense of self unfulfilled and unclear. Kathy’s sense of self is unclear as well because she goes with the flow of life and hasn’t been working towards a better life.

She ends up in prison and becomes satisfied with her circumstances. Lester on the other hand has the strongest sense of self because the reader knows that he is satisfied in the end. Kathy as well is satisfied but Lester knew his selfish actions would lead him there. He destroyed his own family as well as the Behrani family just to satisfy his need to inflict the pain he suffers from to others who he dislikes. Lester not only has the clears sense of self but in the end he suits it.