I did not expect this. It was too early, too soon, it happened suddenly and so quickly my gran had passed away.
I had not once learned valuable lessons in life. One of them that I learned is to be thankful and appreciate for those around me. Maybe it is true that we are not grateful for what we have until it’s gone and there are moments in life that when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them out from your dream and hug them for real.
I did not experience these until my grandmother passed away.
My grandmother was the one that watched me grew up and took care of me when I was a little girl, she loved me so much that she would do anything for me but I did not realise this until she passed away. Since she was the only adult at home she had to do all the housework and take care of me at the same time, while my parents were at work.
Every day after school, she would wait for me at the doorway and she would ask me what I wanted to eat for lunch and she would cook the food for me immediately. Every time when I go out to play with my friends she would ask me where I was going and when I’m going to be home so that she knows when to prepare the dinner for me. As I grow older, I started to hate the way that she would wait for me every day at the doorway and asks me where I was going.
I told her that I am older now and that she doesn’t have to treat me like a little girl anymore. However, she continued to act the same way as usual. One day when I came home from school and saw her standing there waiting for me, which I did not expect, I was very angry and had an argument with her and told her I did not want her help and care anymore. She did not say anything to me and I ran up to my room and find that she has left me a plate of food. I did not eat the food and then took it down back to the kitchen. The next morning I woke up early and went to school without saying anything to her.
Two months later my parents decided to move to another country. My mother told me that my grandmother said that she did not want to go with us because she felt that she was too old and would just be a worry for the family. I was depressed that I had to leave the place where I grew up but at the same time, I was glad that my grandmother was not leaving with us which I regret. In the airport, she told me to take care of myself when I got there and it was the first time that I saw her cry. I wanted to cry too when I saw the tears rolling down from her face, but I turned my head away and did not even say goodbye to her. After arriving at the new place I didn’t call home to her even though I heard from my parents that she became really sick after we left. I remember that it was on a cold December day when I heard the news from my parents that my grandmother had passed away. After hearing the news, I couldn’t help it and the tears continue to roll down from my face. In my heart, I felt that something that is always there is suddenly gone and I could not stop crying.
Two years have passed since my grandmother passed away. Every day I think of her and everything she went through. She worked so hard to give my family and me the life we enjoy today. The grief will come at random times and will linger for days, but she never leaves my mind. I love my grandma more than anyone I have ever met in my entire life. She inspired me to do what I love, and I wouldn’t be half the person I am if it wasn’t for her. Every time when I look at her pictures, the tears just begin to roll down my face. I felt regret for not apologising to her for the argument that we had and all the strong words that I had said to her. I felt regret for never thanking her for all the things that she had done for me. If I had another chance, I would tell her how much I appreciate everything she has did for me and hug her so tight and never let go but except it’s too late now.
I now realize that life is different without her and not as easy as it was when she was there.
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