The Roommates Essay
This case is about the dual conversation between Bernadette and Celia regarding the disagreement of two roommates. The goal of studying this case is to identify the proper language to be used while making the verbal conversation. The purpose of this study is to identify ‘you’ language and the proper conversion to ‘I’ language and identification of loaded and ambiguous language. Also how to convert ‘you’ language to ‘I’ language is the major focus of this case study. The following paragraphs are based on the questionnaire based on the case study. The you-language in this conversation and the possible change to I-language are “You shouldn’t do that” could be “I wouldn’t have done that”. “You make me nuts the way you just throw your stuff all over the place” could be “ I would have kept it in one particular place rather than throwing it all over the place.”
“Your mess makes me really miserable” could be “ I am not comfortable with the mess that we create” “Sounds like you’ve got a problem – you, not me” could be “I don’t seem to be the real problem here” . “Since when? This is the first I’ve heard about it.”, “You make me nuts the way you just throw your stuff all over the room.” , “Your mess makes me really miserable” and “Well it’s you and your mess that are my problem” are the loaded language in this case. “You shouldn’t do that.”, “But you are so messy”, “Do you have to be such a slob?”, “Sounds to me like you’ve got a problem” are the ambiguous language in this case I agree with Celia that the problem is Bernadette’s because Bernadette’s should have said it earlier if she didn’t like the behavior of Celia. When two person share a room both needs to compromise and make them comfortable. Also, in the conversation Bernadette uses many You-Languages that show the problem is of Bernadette towards Celia.
Bernadette and Celia are not engaging in dual conversation properly to understand each other. Both of them are using ambiguous language. Also, they are using You-language which is not appropriate during conflict management. It is likely that both have been into deeper conflict after this conversation. The proper language is to be used wile conversing in order to make the conversation sound better and proper. We should try to avoid ‘you’ languages and focus on “I” language to make the verbal communication sound better. In this case if Bernadette had used the proper I language then the conversation would not have converted to conflict. The use if ‘I’ language is not only important in situations like this but also in organizational verbal communication. We can make the other party more convincing by using the ‘I’ language in our work place too.