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I feel overwhelmed by all the information that I have been able to find out from Rahim. This is just too much for one day I feel like I know nothing about my own life. How i feel so foolish was never attentive enough in my childhood to notice everything that was happening right under my nose If only I paid more attention I could have seen all the signs that were so clear, I am very sad that all that I managed to feel for my own flesh and blood was jealousy.
How vain l was to only care about some stupid attention from Babat I wish I had found out about this a lot sooner. All I want at the moment is just a chance to say how sorry I am. This news disheartens me so much because I do not have the chance to talk to my best friend anymore How cruel was I to have treated him the way I did.
1 cannot believe that he could stand all that humiliation because of me. How i feel so disappointed that Baba, the man who made me believe that he was honorable, was not the person I thought him to be, After so long I get to know that I had believed in the wrong things. It is so disenchanting to have all my childhood beliefs be shattered in just a single day. How stupid was i to let myself be fooled by all the things that he said.
I feel like my heart is filled with a lot of anger and the sad part is that my father, who I respected so much, is to blame for this.
I also feel so ashamed of myself, All the things that I have found out today make me realize just how similar I am to my father. I feel like a criminal. I am also a thiefjust like my fathert This feels very ironical considering how he taught me lessons on how to be righteous. I am saddened that I cannot have a chance to apologize to my friend and brother Hassan for what I did before I ran away from my problems. All I ever do is run, I am not even courageous enough to face my problems Baba is even better than I am because at least he did not abandon his illegitimate son even though he never had the courage to tell him the truth, I wish I could have gotten here sooner before the death of Hassan and Farzana because then I would have gotten a chance to apologize. I feel somehow responsible for the chain of events that took place in the life of Hassan, I really am the worst friend that anyone could ever have., How I feel ashamed that I kept a lot of secrets from Hassan. In fact, Baba and I are no different. Both of us are just liars. This makes me feel like a thief I also feel deep sorrow that Rahim who was a great influence in my childhood is now ill.
It is like I am losing almost every person who is important in my life How unhappy I am that life has not offered me a chance to rebuild all the relationships that I left back at home. Now I finally get to understand how kind and caring Hassan really was. In spite of everything I have done to offend him since we were children he still misses me and writes this letter for me. How I feel guilty that I was never a good enough friend to my brother. How i wish I could have come back earlierr I must redeem myself too I must travel to Kabul and help rescue the son of Hassan from the Orphanage he is being held. With Rahim Khan ill and his parents dead, I might just be the only person remaining who has the power to save her. I do not want to add any disappointments towards myself for not taking care of my responsibilities. How I feel overwhelmed by all the responsibilities that await me. I hope that I get the courage I need to carry out all that I am supposed to, I feel like I owe Hassan so much. Although this will not cater for all that I have done, I know it plays a big role in redeeming me. For once I choose to fulfill my responsibilities instead of running away like I am always doing. I of all people should know that it is never possible to bury the past as it will eventually find its way back to haunt you. I know this is going to be dangerous and difficult but Hassan also took a risk for me so I will be a man and do the same for him, Going back to Kabul will put my life and that of my family at risk but I am willing to take the risk I also am afraid to go back to Kabul because this is where all the childhood memories and the memories of the wrongs I have done are held.
I cannot begin to imagine how Sohrab has been suffering living in an orphanage without parents. I feel so apologetic for everything that has happened to Hassan and his family that I will do my best to finally deliver his son from all the suffering that he has been experiencing since the death of his parents I am afraid of the test of my loyalty and manhood that waits. Although sorrow fills my heart because my best friend died in the hands of the Taliban, I am happy that at least he never forgot that I existed. The fact that he wrote me a letter is reason enough for me to believe that he always thought about me [must do something to repay Hassan for being the person who cared the most about me. I hope that wherever Hassan is right now he will be able to forgive me for all that I have done to him At last I find something that can help me be good again. How happy I am to know that finally I have something to repay Hassan for being a good man. I must save Sohrab at all costs At least now I will not have to hold the guiltI feel inside of me because Sohrab’s rescue will be my redemption. I swear I will do everything I can to complete this task
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