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For anyone who has ever had someone they know commit suicide Janice Mirikitanis Suicide Note allows you to see what makes a person take their own life. While reading this poem, the reasons behind this college girls suicide are given. She has written this note as an apology to her parents. She compares herself to a sparrow, wishes she was someone else, and believes that if she is not perfect there is no point in going on. This poor girl feels that she has to achieve perfection in everything that she does.
The reoccurring line in this poem shows that she feels that she is not good enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough (In 3). In the italicized paragraph, the reader finds that she has committed suicide because she did not get a 4.0 grade point average. When all the blandishments of life are gone, the coward sneaks to death, the brave live on (Miscellaneous). Instead of seeing her failure as a challenge, she chooses to see it as an obstacle.
If she can not face the fact that she is not perfect, she can not face life.
Life is full of imperfections, you just have to live with them or learn to overcome them. She feels that she has to apologize for her imperfections, imperfections that most people just over look. A grade means nothing in the real world; it is simply a number that you earn for your work. If only I were a son (In 10). She feels that men do not have to face imperfection.
She is only trying to run away from the fact that she is not perfect by wishing she were something else. She feels that if she were male she could see the pride in her parents eyes. She only needs to look at her parents to see the pride in their eyes. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem (Donahue). Instead of hoping for her problems to get better, she decides to take the easy way out. She feels that every mistake that she makes is ice above her river (In 28). Life is full of mistakes that you have to overcome, which is what makes life interesting. You have to learn from your mistakes and not let them pull you down.
As she stands on the ledge of her building waiting to jump, she compares herself to a sparrow waiting to take flight on wings that are not strong enough to fly. Not strong enough (In 35). Snow has started to fall and she begins to doubt what she is about to do. Not smart enough (In 41). She acts as if she were just a bird that could not go on in the storm. The storm of life is a turbulent one and some can not weather that storm without help. She overreacted to a grade; her parents must love her for more than just her grades. Life should never get so hard that the thought of suicide comes up. Life is ever changing you have to go with it even through the tough rides. Hope is a necessity for normal life and the major weapon against the suicide impulse (Menninger).
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