Relationship varies in people and among different issues involved. Indeed no man is an island and you are what you are today because of how people made influences to you. Maintaining a good relationship is vital in every man’s life. It serves as inspiration and a driving force to succeed in every career or goal that we want to pursue.
This research aims to discuss further relationship types and issues. Our way of living and how it affects dealing with people will also be analyzed. At the end of this paper one will begin to realize what are the responsibilities and role of every individual as they relate with every people around.
The first type of relationship is friendship. As discussed in class in this relationship type, people tend to have more friendships during young adulthood than during any other period. It is easier to deal with younger people since they are free of anxiety, envy and insecurity. Hatred is easily taken out of their minds unlike fights between adult. They are after the happiness of their playmates rather discussing petty arguments. “Children’s friendships are the training grounds for important adult relationships, including marriage” (Finding A Friend, 2000). As they grow up different preferences occurs as they began to choose the kind of friends that they will have and also during Friendships in old age are important for maintaining life satisfaction.
Friendship among adult includes three broad themes: First, Affective or emotional basis of friendship based on trust, loyalty and commitment, Shared and communal nature of friendship and Sociability and compatibility. Men tend to have fewer close friends and base them on shared activities. Women have more close friends and base them on emotional sharing.
According to psychologist Erdley and Nangle in an article of University of Maine website:
Close friendships are characterized by affection, a sense of reliable alliance and intimacy the sharing of secrets and personal information. The experience of having a friend to confide in can promote feelings of trust, acceptance and sense of being understood. As a result, friendship mediates the link between acceptance and loneliness. (Finding A Friend, 2000).
Trust is really vital in any relationship this is a strong foundation especially during your maturity years and you need somebody to rely upon. Your loyalty is really the basis as to up to what extent your friendship will last. It is also a commitment that requires integrity with each other on secrets and when businesses are already included. As you build trust you can easily gather people of common interest with what you have, from here enters the second theme of adult friendship.
Sharing the same nature of likes and dislikes brings a more sense of belongingness and acceptance. From those commonalities, it leads to the third theme as you begin to adapt social responsibility as a friend. “Unlike close friendships, peer group acceptance offers children a sense of inclusion. Both social relationships offer nurturing and self-worth. But while peer acceptance influences children’s feelings of belonging, friendships directly affect feelings of loneliness” (Finding A Friend, 2000).
Most of our time is spent outside mingling with our peers but more important are those people whom we see upon arriving home. Blood relation is indeed more greater since they are the ones who stood by us after we are given birth. Sibling relationships are important and among the closest relationships. There are five types of sibling relationships that have been identified in class these are: Congenial or having the same disposition and desired things in life siblings who live with congenial relationship results in a more harmonious way of living as they associate the likes and feelings on one another., Intimate sibling relationship is more delicate and sweet in the truest sense they are after the concern of each other while the third type is in contrast with the first since apathetic type of sibling relationship is more spiritless and indifferent with the feelings of their siblings. Lastly is more of antagonistic approach since being Hostile to their siblings is because of certain malevolence and interest to family property.
Sibling relationship is indeed the most important on any relationship since they are the ones who stood beside us right after birth hence sibling rivalries makes the situation worst at times. This is considered as the rocky part of family relationship since jealousy and envy takes place between brothers and sister over affection, time and material things.
Children are sensitive from the age of one year to differences in parental treatment and by three years they have a sophisticated grasp of family rules and can evaluate themselves in relation to their siblings (Mersky Ledder, 1993).
This is also explained by psychologist Freud as he states: the sibling relationship is an extension of the Oedipus complex, where brothers were in competition for their mother’s attention and sisters for their fathers (Mitchell, 2003). And since sibling rivalry is part of every family it happens once in a while but siblings manage to fix things over quicker with the aid of parents.
Next relationship taken up is Love relationship where Passion, intimacy, and commitment are the key components. Selecting a mate works best when there are shared values, goals, and interests. Passion is important to keep the romance alive and be more sweet to your love one. Intimacy is having the same extent of emotion and shared interest while commitment is being responsible to your partner and where fidelity takes place. The best way to love according to one love website is to :Love deeper. We love others to the degree we love ourselves (Self Creation, 2008).
Part of loving one’s self is accepting (being okay with) who we are. Consequently, we love to the degree we’re happy. While we are unhappy and attending to our fears, we do not love. The self is always crying out for acceptance. When we deny ourselves that acceptance, life gets twisted. Our attention gets sucked into a void inside ourselves, leaving nothing left to give to another (Self Creation, 2008).
Love and acceptance goes hand in hand in order to maintain a good love relationship. Communications is also important to know each others feelings and it is better to find a mate who shares the sane set of values and beliefs to avoid any further arguments. If love is not taken care of properly violence in the relationship may occur and worsen the scene.
Violence in Relationships
Violence in Relationships contains levels of aggressive behavior range from verbal aggression to physical aggression to murdering one’s partner. The causes of aggression become more complex as the level of aggression increases. People remain in abusive relationships for many reasons, including low self-esteem and the belief that they cannot leave.
Insecurity and obsession merely causes violence in relationship. A person greatly obsessed tends to take ownership on his partner and don’t want anybody to get into their way. Insecurity makes a person think of ways to secure his/her partner so that no one will have the power to get into the scene. Low self-esteem causes lack of confidence. Hence this violence can be avoided if only trust is preserved in the relationship.
However, violence in a relationship can be classified into three: Physical, Sexual and Emotional Abuse. Physical Abuse involves kicking, hitting, hair pulling, spitting, biting, pushing, shoving, beating with weapons and murder (Understanding Violence, 2008).
Sexual Abuse occurs when forced or coerced sex, unwanted touching, sexual accusations, unwanted sexual acts and Emotional Abuseises extreme possessiveness and jealousy, name calling, put downs, manipulation and control, isolation from friends and family, threats of suicide, threats against your life or to harm loved ones and pets, destruction of property (Understanding Violence, 2008).
Abuse and neglect of older adults is an increasing problem. This can be also considered as violence in a relationship since the feelings of adult people is being put at stake. The feeling of rejection and neglected to be taken care of is really hurtful to its very extent.
According to our class lecture, Approximately 75% of men and 60% of women are single between the ages of 20 and 25. People remain single for many reasons; gender differences exist. Singles recognize the pluses and minuses in the lifestyle.
The freedom that one may gain being single is irreplaceable since no one is dominating your life and you don’t need to think of giving consideration to any ones feeling since you are only depending on your individuality.
In this kind of relationship couples are living together without any legal or moral consent. People in committed, sexual relationships lives together and is now becoming an increasingly popular lifestyle. This up to date trend is not healthy but can be considered a trial and error relationship to determine the characteristics of your companion before jumping into marriage.
However, such measures should be taken loosely, as researchers report that cohabitation often does not have clear start and end dates, as people move in and out of each other’s homes and sometimes do not agree on the definition of their living arrangement at a particular moment in time (Manning & Smock, 2005).
Most countries prohibits this kind of relationship since it is ruled with morality and ethical issues. But gay male and lesbian couples are similar to married heterosexual couples in terms of relationship issues. The issue here is how open is the society to accept the validity of their relationship. Since in the present generation there are laws made to allow marriage of same sex couples.
The validity of a relationship is often measure through the legality of Marriage. The most important factors in creating stable marriages are maturity, similarity, and conflict resolution. Marital satisfaction is highest at the beginning, falls until children leave home, and rises again in later life. Failure in marriage results to emotional damages and may lead into divorce. There are also instance when you find that there is someone else whom you should have marry instead of the one you are currently attached. This is the time where divorce and remarriage takes place.
Divorce and Remarriage
Although most couples intend their marriages to last, roughly half will end in divorce. Divorce is not viewed as negatively as it once was and expectations about marriage have increased. Gender differences are found in adjustment; men have more short term problems but women have more long term problems including financial difficulties. Most divorced couples remarry.
Widowhood is more common among women because they tend to marry men older thank they are. Widowed men are typically older. Men generally have problems in social relationships and in household tasks. Women tend to have financial problems
Finding a Finding a Friend: Children’s Friendships Training Ground for Adult Relationships
(2000). University of Maine Website, Retrieved, January 23, 2008 from: http://www.umaine.edu/mainesci/Archives/Psychology/Friendships.htm
Manning, Wendy and Smock, Pamela (2005). “Measuring and Modeling Cohabitation: New Perspectives from Qualitative Data.” Journal of Marriage and Family 67(4):989-1002.
Mersky Leder, Jane (1993). Adult Sibling Rivalry. Psychology Today. January-February Issue 1993.
Mitchell, Juliet (2003). Freud Lecture. Retrieved January 23, 2008 from: http://www.freud-museum.at/e/inhalt/wissenJulietMitchell2003.html
Self Creation (2008). Be Selfish in love. Retrieved, January 23, 2008 from: http://www.selfcreation.com/love/index.htm
Understanding Violence in a Relationship (2008). What is Violence in a Relationship. Retrieved January 23, 2008 from: http://www.chebucto.ns.ca/CommunitySupport/Men4Change/violencerelate.html