Reading this book was a touchy and a emotional encounter formebe in gable to connect and relate to the feelings and emotions of the two main characters. They helped me understand every word i was reading in this book. First of, i really enjoyed the concept of the book:a girl explaining why she committed suicide and the people responsible for it . I think personally the chain of tapes beings entone person to a notheronaso called “ list” was a concept i found in triguing and allowed me to stay involved and crave more with the next chapter.
Just like Clay Jensen, i find myself wanting to know who is on the next tape and why. I really enjoyed Clayas a character and the way he was written in the story. Most of the time i felt like i was in his shoes, hearing the tapes through his ears and experiencing the journey alongside him .The hesitation of each tape coming was very entertainng and figuring out what tape Clay was on gave methesense of impatience.
Each time a new character was introduced was clearly a sign of relief to me as it wasn’t Clay’s turn to be humiliated.
I found myse lf wanting the best for him but also having that sense of why he was involved in the death of Hannah Baker. There is really something quite addictive about this book which makes you not wanna stop reading.I just desperately wanted to know happened next in the story .
One of the feelings i felt was distressed to be so obsessed over a dead girl’s story , even though the story isn’t true, thought of Hannah as a real someone i knew beca use throughout reading this book i had grown to her and needed closure over her death.
I realised that the purpose of these tapes being sent was seen as a consequence for most people and can highly affect a person’s life exactly like Hannah’s. The tapes and the secrets were all connected and were not sent out as blame or blackmail but as proof that you never really know what’s going on in someone’s life and how one tiny movement can have the ability to push someone over the edge.I became really egaged in tape number 13 as it features the school counselor Mr Porter.
At a time in Hannah’s life where she felt alone, defeated by life and extremely depressed she still m ana ged to build up the courage to approach the counselor to talk a bout her suicidal feelings. Mr porter was her last chance and only hope of surviving and Mr Porter failed to deliver appropriate advice or certain methods to deal with these feelings therefore caused Hannah to take her own life. That part really broke me. I was often told that what i was feeling instead of bein gable to express my own thoughts freely, counselors often shove a symptomlist idea of suicide down your throat and expect it to come back up in your words.
For teenagers it’s really hard and as truggle to be able to talk about your own feelings and to find the strength somewhere in you to admit it is hard enough let alone admitting it to someoneelse , therefore in my experience when you try to get help and the results are unproductive and end up feeling more alone a sever. This personally makes me wonder if Hannah was a real person , would i be able to tell what she was going through?I wonder how many Hannah Baker’s there are in this world , feeling exactly like her, like there’s not a single soul here one arth that understands and cares for them:feeling alone with no friends to share their secrets with , thinking that there’s nothing left to hold on to so the only option is to end their lives instead.
She could’ve of passed me in the halls , or she could be there locking herself in the bath room , muffling her cries, or she could be there in her bedroom secretly wishing death would just come and swallow her whole .I learnt from this story that you can never truly understand what goes on in a person’s life and that even though they’re smiling on the outside doesn’t mean that the pain inside isn’t unbearable .