The incident that I am going to be talking about, involves a year 10 female pupil. This member of the youth was always willing to participate in activities, willing to help at the end of the sessions or events that were being organised. Unfortunately, this member always wanted something far greater. An achievement that she could say I did that! I poured my heart into that!
Over the next few weeks, I began to see a change in this member. I felt like she was giving up on helping us as thou she did not see the point no more and could not see things progressing. Her attitude towards other people also seems to change as thou she was jealous of other people who were helping out, or other people who were getting bigger jobs in the youth. Thou she never asked or came forward asking for a bigger part (confidence?)
I did not know what to do with youth, I knew she wanted more and I could see that but did not know what path to take. I decided to talk with other leaders and they mentioned about the next youth camp coming up later in the year. Thou it sounded like a great idea I was concerned she was not ready or confident enough in her self to take up such a huge challenge, because she was new to the club. However, am I then putting my own fear in front of her ambition? Was I then going to put a halt on something so life changing?
As a leader of the youth club, I knew it was in within my power to change something and act upon it.
I decide to confront my own personal worries and pluck up the courage to talk to her guardian, I mentioned about the camping trip that the youth club was participating in, and some youth members there was an option to join in the service crew. I went to mention some of the roles that they could undertake and what was involved in being a service crewmember. At first, this guardian was concerned and unsure about sending their daughter to do something far greater than helping at the youth club, but slowly came to the understand that this could be the break and confidence boast that they needed.
With her willingness to send her daughter to camp to be a member of the service crew, I decided to get to know this individual more and at the club. I would sit between her and her fellow friends and chat and listen to see what hobbies they enjoyed, activities in the club and what they wanted in life, there goals, but this member was also shy or scared of opening up to me. Over many weeks and recent talks, she became more confining in me. She was able to talk and share feeling about what she wanted to do in life. From this, I could see that there was great potential for this youth to gain a wider aspect in life’s achievements.
It reminded me of me when I was growing up in a youth club, how I was shy and sacred of new things. How I felt alone and nobody understood me. How I felt that I was being ignore for being good or helpful.
From my pass experience of my own life in a youth setting, I decided to draw on the willingness of her kindness and slowly over time got this member to open up more; I gave her an opportunity of being a my personal helper in the club. So that later on in life she could later work her way up if she so choose to and become a trainee leader.
Sometimes it felt wrong for me to picking on a just one member but never did I feel like the youth were against me. I felt like they understood the situation and I also began seeing changes in the circle of youth I was interested in, they were also showing a willingness to lead a helping hand. It was like the first stepping-stone. Not only was I was helping one member of youth but her circle to.
I decide to look up self-confidence in the bible for this member of the youth and maybe for my self as well. I found a passage that goes on to say: There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love (NRSV 1John 4:18)
This passage begins to answer the question on how much God loves us and believing in him is so important. Fear and worry signal that we are not yet perfect in our belief in how much God loves us. If we believe that the God of infinite power and wisdom loves no one in the universe more than us, what do we have to fear or worry about?
We believe in how much He loves us, and then we know the trial is for our own good. Because of His love, we should know that a trial is not just an arbitrary act without rhyme or reason. Because He is God, it cannot be an accidental circumstance happening without His awareness or concern.
From reading this passage I felt that this member needed a little pushing, I started to understand that fear should not stop no one in gaining something so huge in life. So I decided to mention about the service crew team at the campsite. I was waiting to hear silence or the answer of I will think about it, but instead I got a strong yes! There was no umm or r-ing it was as if they had gained so much confidence and needed something more. I felt a sense of achievement that I had changed, accepted, and understood this member. I am glad that I did not over look this person and gave up my own time to help them. I am glad that I listened to the other leaders and looked to the bible for inspiration.
Looking back and reflecting on the way that I acted to this situation, I would say that there were grey areas. For example, I decided to talk with the guardian first maybe that was not the correct way or best way of things. I think I should have just gone straight to individual form day one and started a conversation to try to understand there difficulties and reasoning behind events. The reason for my thinking is because I am a youth leader and my job is there to get to know and understand individual needs. Thou granted this was my first time of acting on something, something I thought needed action and doing about but still I did play the safe card.
Thou on another hand I am extremely happy that I achieved this person particular goal and changed them so great that even other leaders and parents congratulated me. That this person is now so confident they do believe that fear is no object that fear is just a simple word. However, it was just not one person I changed. Her circle of friends also changed and that was because I stepped into that friendship circle, and I now know and understand more than one person. I feel like I have personally changed to, because I would say for me it was a learning curve, and probably I grew in confidences to. Why, because I showed my self that I can do things for my self and others. Those other leaders do not have to do my work for me.
From this experience, I decided to act more upon events in the club that if something did not feel or seems right I would investigate more into. From this I also feel that I have helped changed other members of the club and hopefully one day they will do the same for others.
My goal is that one day the youths that I helped will help other in similar situations, and I happy to conclude that this member I mentioned about it now a trainee leader of our youth club, so now she can share her own experiences with other members of the club.