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on My Self
My Teen Years
By thirteen I was a fully-fledged tom boy. With a hundred percent of my friends being boys, it came with benefits. Not the ones that typically come to mind but the more sentimental ones. I knew I was never alone. I knew that if I ever needed some support or some jokes I could count on them and soon enough one of them became more than a friend and more of a rock. Someone who would never leave my side despite the nay-Sayers. At a young age I knew what unconditional love felt like …or at least I thought.
As a teenager wrapped up in all these emotions it was hard to not get carried away. Do not imagine. Do not build a hypothetical life with someone till your dying days. And so, despite the one year that I knew him, I did it anyway. Relentless love is what I see it as today. The kind of love that would never die out. The type of love that got me through any situation no As a fifteen-year-old girl whose father knew almost everything about me there was one thing that he didn’t. The one thing I’m almost happiest for. The fact that he did not know I was 3 weeks pregnant. I didn’t necessarily know where my safe haven was going to be but I did know it was not going to be the house I grew fond of during my childhood years. The house in which memories piled in my mind like the books overflowing on the bookshelf. It was a shame my child couldn’t experience the life I had which that Somali neighborhood had to offer. But I knew that there was a life beyond that at age 15. That somewhere out there would be a better life worth living with my child without the scrutiny and judgment I had got there.
My Attempt to Start a New Life
On May 10th 2004, I landed in Minneapolis airport. Ready to embark on a new journey. Ready to face whatever life threw my way. And so, I did and just like when I was five years old, the days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. Just like when I was a child I started to loosen the concept of time but not for the irresponsible reasoning’s I one had, this time it was more because of the overwhelming pressure I had. Tasks needed to be done. Deadlines that needed to be met. All this combined with my pregnant hormones of a now 16-year-old girl was not a good mix.
As time went on I felt the overwhelming pressure of pursuit. I knew I needed to evacuate as soon as possible. By the grace of god, one evening my cousin called from Saint Paul Minnesota and explained her struggles with her newborn daughter while she was juggling her career. She had offered me a deal. The best deal I have ever heard in the entirety of my life. Whether it was the timing that made this deal more appealing or the convenience I don’t know, but what I did know was that when opportunity knocks on your door you’d be a fool to not open it.
American Dream
And so, my adult life had just begun. I learned how to drive. I went to school again. I found a job. I finally found my own feet. With the help of my cousin being my guardian as I was still a minor I learnt a lot. I learnt what the American dream was and more importantly how to chase it.
On January 7th 2005 my first of 6 children were born. Abdirahman Abdullahi was born. I can explain what it was like giving birth and seeing him for the first time. My own life’s work was laying down crying in front of me. The amount of emotions that rushed through my body was insane. Every type of feeling you could possibly feel I felt in that one moment I was formally introduced to him by a nurse. My son. My very own human which would love me and I would no doubt love it unconditionally back. I remember thinking how silly I was to think that what I had with a boy that I’d very shortly known was unconditional love. In that very moment I knew what it meant. It’s very raw form. It was a form of pure love I had never experienced before. It was selfless. It was undivided.
It was truthful no matter how hard it got. By 18, I was now no longer a minor which gave me the freedom I was longing to have. I decided that California would be the best fit for me. It reminded me of home with the weather and the beautiful palm trees spread across what seems like every acre of land. The scenery was picturesque; dare I say even better than what I’d known as home. Soon enough I found my own place, settled in and found my own feet once again. It almost felt like it was a cycle. I became desensitized to the idea of moving at some point but something about this move felt different. I knew in my heart this was my home. I knew this as I felt my heart get lighter every time I stepped into my apartment. I was building my own home. It was my safe haven. I knew I could now be whoever I wanted to be and enjoy whatever I wanted to do without the pressure and worry I once had to bear on my back. This is my home.
How I Wrote My Memoir
I chose to use various techniques in my memoir to emphasise emotion and to deepen the readers understanding through the use of techniques like similes. One line where is used a simile was “The house in which memoires piled in my mind like the books over flowing on the bookshelf” I implanted this line through describing what it was that my house looked like and trying to bring it to life in the reader’s mind perhaps personifying the bookshelf to help them vividly understand the description of the setting more. The techniques and strategies help bring an image to the reader’s mind and therefore helps them understand the story more.
I also use short sentences throughout the memoir. I used them in order to give great meaning and importance to the line in which I was trying to accentuate. For example the ending line of my memoir “This is my home”. I purposely made this a one line sentence to signify the end of the memoir and also to show how much of a life changing moment it was for me. Also i wanted to go full circle with my story and end it how i started it with short and factual sentences therefore giving the reader a full loop of my experience and arguably giving them closure by the end of it. Also I wrote one line paragraphs too in order to emphasise how powerful an epiphany I had which was that I had finally “learnt what the American dream was and more importantly how to chase it”. Making it a one line paragraph was a great technique I used as making that line stand out on its own really signifies its value and grandness it had in my life story.
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