There was a time in middle school where I felt like an outsider meaning I didn’t feel like i could fit it due to my extreme shyness and sensitive personality.This quiet and shy personality was made because I didn’t really go out with friends at that age so im thinking I didn’t have much experience on what to do if I was being bullied.So this is the time where I was in an age period of late childhood and during those times I didn’t know it would change me as a person but make me stronger.
What I mean by stronger is that if someone says something to me now I will stand up for myself or be able to ignore them fully so they will not affect me in any way.School in my early childhood was a constant struggle having to do with my social life and school life. During those times people told me to ignore the situation but it was not that easy to just do that but I was able to overcome those times and think to myself why I let myself be treated like that.
This experience has influenced me in a good way by making me a stronger person and not let people take advantage of my kindness.
When I was 12 years old I lived in Bakersfield, California but I have always lived here my whole life.In this period age in my time I still didn’t know who I fully was and was still trying to fit in.
So, bullies saw me as a target because I looked like I didn’t want to cause any trouble and if they were to tell me something I wouldn’t have said a word. My behaviors included being shy, being insecure about how I looked, and too nice as said by people.These were some of my behaviors that were visible to people so they saw vulnerable I was and thought that if they said something about me that I wouldn’t do anything about it. In the book Santrock(224) Essentials of Life-Span Development there was a quote which says “In the same manner , low self esteem may reflect either an accurate perception of one’s shortcomings or a distorted, even a pathological insecurity and inferiority”.This quote is talking about how low self-esteem reflects a perception of one’s failure to meet the certain standards and this related to me because when I had low self-esteem I would think to myself how I did not fit people’s standards in terms of how I looked and acted. People in that age were more outspoken than I was at the time and they were starting to care about how they looked. The environment was really supportive and friendly with my family around but when it came to people at school who liked to bully in order to make them selves feel better it was not a fun time. In the article named Bullying in School:The traumatic effects of bullying on children Ehiorobo(2012) found that bullying can have a long lasting effect and act as a disease that can become worse.Bullying can have long effects because it can traumatize an individual and make them think that they are not worth it or cannot become the best they want to be. In terms of it can become worse is when the individual does not seek help from someone or they always have what the bullies say to them in their mind.
In the book Santrock(22) talks about Skinner operant conditioning it talks about the consequences of a behavior and how it can happen again because of rewarding and punishing stimulus.For example when I was bullied the bullies felt like they did something good so they rewarded themselves by consistently kept bullying me so they would feel like they were getting a positive outcome out of this situation. The proper way or best way that this could have been avoided or dealt with would be to tell an adult or can talk to the bully and tell them they are not getting anything out of this and that they are just wasting their time.In the book Santrock(22) made it known or put more emphasis on developing and how it consists of a pattern of behavioral changes that are made by rewards and punishments(Santrock 22).The author wanted the audience to know when people start in the development stage many behavior can occur and can be different due to the rewarding and punishing stimulus. One example would be when I was in the stage of development I didn’t really know much and wasn’t trying to get too involved with people because of the bullies who made it harder to trust people. Later in life I eventually found out how to deal with bullies which would be to just ignore them and they will see that you are not getting hurt by what they are doing. Some of my experiences support his theory to be true which is when I someone said something to me I would show some time of reaction and they would tell me again so they would get the same reaction. In the Skinner’s Operant theory the period where I was bullied was the consequences of a behavior from the bully and at that time I was still figuring out who I was also with positive people around me I was able to live a positive lifestyle.The reason I was able to develop as an individual was because I was always supported by family and friends and if I did something wrong I was not punished harshly but I was given a lesson and was told what would happen if I did something bad.
Even though I had some traumatic experiences with bullying I was able to over come that with the help of positivity with friends and family. Now that I overcame that I can go through life and not have to worry about that anymore because I was able to gain self-esteem and confidence due to all the support I had.Whenever I get reminded of those times I let my self know that those moment made me stronger than I was at that time.One of my experiences that supports Skinner’s theory is when I was bullied I showed a reaction that they expected to see and then they felt like they accomplished something or tried to be funny and they did it again. Another example would be that I was a really shy person but differences in the environment that I experienced helped me become a really social person that I am today. Now I can easily make new friends and keep a conversation going because of how much I changed as a person. So in the future I hope I can help other people who struggle with a shy personality or have a tendency to be quiet because I know how they feel not being able to stand up for themselves and having a difficult time in their life.The Theory I chose was able to be supported with experiences that I have lived through and learned from them. Bullies do make a bad impact but it can make you stronger person and overcome it.