I am outraged! I cannot believe that girl. How dare she refuse such an offer from such an agreeable man? Handsome too, has good fortune, and acquainted with Lady Catherine de Bourgh. What on earth does she need more? That Lizzy, a real dimwit I tell you. Oh and Mr. Bennet, opposing my opinions in such a foul way, after three and twenty years of marriage. It is inconceivable.
Wait a minute, I know, he’s just… playing with my nerves.
That must be it! Silly Mr. Bennet… He’s already admitted that he loves doing so before. I am slyer than he thinks, not one of his old tricks can fool me. But I must admit, although his humor has proved to be of quite bad taste, I dare say, I do not think he would stoop to such ill measures. Oh dear Lord he would not! My devastation has blinded me as have the tears drowning my eyes: my husband has not played me.
That wrecked Mr. Bennet; I could kill him I could. With all the devotion I give to this family, managing five daughters out at once, this is how he repays me? With betrayal? If my honor did not object to it, I would divorce him. Then I would take the girls and get them married to respectable men who make no less than ten thousand a year, that way I could meet the expense of living the life I have always deserved and finally have the satisfaction of having my daughters happily married… married in any case.
Oh I can see them right now, Jane, Kitty, Lydia, Mary. Elizabeth. I would think though, that Lizzy’s lack of beauty may be an obstacle, but I am sure someone will settle for it. After all “it is a truth universally acknowledged that a man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife”. A man such as Mr. Collins…
That girl, always feeling superiorly smarter than anyone. She should be honored by a proposal instead of declaring it preposterous. I have tried very hard to bring her to reason. She is too headstrongof a girl; and that is a flaw only few men are ready to accept. Poor, poor Mr. Collins, I could see the astonishment in his eyes, the quivering in his speech, the sweat on his body, the silence of his heart. If that daughter of mine continues to “go on refusing every marriage in this way” (if she has got any left to refuse) she “will never get a husband at all- and I am sure I do not know who is to maintain [her] when [her] father is dead- I shall not be able to keep” her. I have warned her so, but still, that stubborn girl continues her nonsense. I cannot tolerate this, I cannot bear it. An affair like this will not go on if there is anything I can do to stop it.
Nevertheless, what more can I do? I have argued, convinced, cried, screamed, begged…A woman of my age should not have to go through all these efforts. Not only yesterday was I making our whole family’s reputation one of great admiration at the ball. All the Bennets partook at least a bit in the amusement apart from Ms. Elizabeth Bennet. I thought she looked ridiculous trying to stay in her corner pretending to be embarrassed when we were clearly astounding everyone there. Honestly, I was almost embarrassed to be her mother, and I am now too. That child is impossible! She makes everyone around her suffer, even dear Mr. Collins.
That deprived man, what must he think of us? What will he tell Lady Catherine de Bourgh? What will she think of us? Oh, I must stop this; Mr. Collins is on the verge of leaving and therefore not marrying my daughter! I must find a way to regain his love for her. However, I should talk no more, I already have. I would not want him to think of me as desperate, for I am not. Never mind, it is hopeless! All is lost. There is nothing more I can do but sit and wait for fate to take its course. It is God’s will: I must suffer.
No, I will not. I will find a way to make this better before it is too late. If he does not marry Elizabeth, he will marry one of the Bennets. Perfect!
No no no! I cannot bear to have my efforts and dreams ripped to pieces once again. I am too weak. It is over, I will not, for my own sake, continue to hope. All I can do now is sit here and sink into self-pity until the end of my days. Elizabeth will never get married. I bet she will even blame it on me, her meager mother, whilst all I ever do is try to help her. She ruins everything and I am the one to blame?
Jane is my last hope and I shall do all in my power for her hand to be Bingley’s.