I can’t take this any more I have no job and therefore no money, I can’t see where my next meal will come from. I am lucky if I eat more than once a day. I have no family that could help me and I do not know what I can do. Losing my job at Birling & Co was the worst possible thing that could of happened to me. I’m desperate I must do something before I starve. The lodging I live in are adequate for just keeping me alive but they have nothing more to offer than four walls and a roof which leaks when it rains.
I have been looking for work since I lost my job at Birling & Co as I had little money due to the fact that I was sacked recently after the summer break and so I had little money. Fortunately I for me and unfortunately for others there is a case of influenza sweeping through the city and it has taken staff from a high-class clothing shop called Milwards so there are now some openings for sales positions and as long as my present luck turns around I may be able to land myself a job there.
It would be so good to get a job I have been out of work for two months now and I can no longer take it I need money and a sense of self reliance. I got an interview at Milwards on Monday, that was more than I was expecting as I didn’t look like a woman who would work in a high class shop like Milwards as I am not exactly the picture of health but I think the make up I was wearing helped to cover that up.
I got it , I got it. Finally my luck has turned around and now I can get some sort of stability and self-respect in my life. My job is going excellent and I have made some great progress in my time at Milwards. I have made some friends and at this job I can afford to go out and have a good time with them, one friend in particular is Miss Franciss she helped me in the period when I wasn’t quite sure about where things went of how to do something and I would have found my job a lot harder if it wasn’t for her. Looking back on it if I hadn’t lost my job at Birling & Co I may never have gotten this job and so it was a sort of blessing in disguise that I was sacked. But I could have done without the two months of despair in between. I have a place in the world now and I would be happy to stay there until the end of my days.
Today I turned up for work as usual and the manager confronted me and told me that a customer had complained about my work and told me I must leave. I had no idea what I had done wrong and then I remembered an incident that had occurred the day before. A woman had came into the shop with her mother and had asked to try on a dress. This was against the advice of her mother and Miss Franciss but she was determined to try on the dress. She looked wretched in the thing and so I tried to compose myself but I just couldn’t do it and I let out a small snigger unfortunately she saw this in my reflection in the mirror and didn’t look to happy about it. To make things worse I was told to hold up the dress to make it look as if I was wearing it and it looked a lot better on me than it did on her. I saw her eyes fire up with jealousy and anger.
She must have been the one who complained about me and lost me my job. All for the sake of a little snigger, it seems a little petty but I can see no other reason for my dismissal. My life has fallen back into the meaningless sham it was before and if I cannot find another job I do not think I could stand any more time feeling that desperate. I have sunk lower than I ever thought I would sink. I am way past the level I was after I was sacked from Birling & Co. I have demoralised myself to the state where I now have to support myself by picking up men in the palace bar. I hate this life and would gladly swap it for the one when all I was poor and hungry. I must get out of this life I have humiliated and demoralised myself far too far and I can’t go along with it much longer I need a different way of supporting myself.
Today I was in my usual place in the palace music hall and a fat oaf I later learned was Joe Meggarty was trapping me between his own fat body and a corner. I couldn’t escape until I saw a gentleman who I have never seen before in the palace bar and he had a kind face. He moved towards me and joe and whispered something in his ear I couldn’t quite hear what it was but it seemed to make the fat, drunk man standing in front of me go away, for which I was very grateful.
This man told me he was named Gerald Croft. I told him my name well I told him my name was Daisy Renton but I didn’t tell him what I was doing in the palace bar but he may have realised as the palace is known for being filled with girls of the town. We made a great bond and stayed together for the rest of the night talking for a long time. He bought me food and drinks and I felt the best I had in a long time.