Juliet's Dilemma: A Hasty Proposal and an Uncertain Future

Dear Diary, You would never guess what? Oh, I am so happy, confused and sad. What to do, I know not. I never knew one moment would change my life so quickly, and drastically! I have to tell you the most exciting news first... I'm getting married! Oh, can you die of happiness? My mother has just put upon me the proposal to ‘The County Paris’. When I was told the news my life flashed before my eyes, I saw myself in a loveless marriage, sitting at home in old clothes, slaving over a hot stove all day and looking after the children, what kind of a future is that?

Getting married is an honour that I do not dream of, because it shows you are wanted and the older you are, the less likely you are to get married and men won’t give you a second glance.

I never even thought that anyone would find me interesting. Father has stated clearly that he will only agree to this marriage if it is what I want as well.

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If I do agree to marry now then would I have to slave after Paris? Massage his shoulders and his feet every time he returns from somewhere? Urrghh, I can just imagine my destiny entwined with him..... Does Paris want children?

What if he’s using me for that purpose alone? That ghastly thought just gives me shivers running through my body repeatedly. This may be a little difficult as I have seen it with mother and father.

Paris is good-looking and quite rich for my liking. Is mother eying his money? If that is so, then that would be outrageous, but who am I to believe such nonsense? I wonder what will happen after I’m married off to live with my father and mother in law. Would it be scary and awkward? I knew my time would come soon; I don’t know what to do or what to think.

I don't want to disappoint my parents, but truly feel marriage, at this stage in my life, is not truly what I want at this moment. I am not ready to make such a huge commitment and get married very hastily. Does Paris really and sincerely love me enough to want to marry me? Is it something he just thought upon one morning and didn’t consider the idea first for a few weeks? I, Juliet Capulet, am getting married to ‘The County Paris’; Would my name change to something bizarre like ‘The County Juliet’?

I just wish things weren’t going so fast for me; I would love to go back a few more years and enjoy life while I can. But I always knew my time would come. Nevertheless I always knew that no matter how many times I disagree with a proposal, mother and father would still bring more proposals and remain waiting for me to get married. Paris is known to nearly everyone in Verona and to reject this proposal brought by him would be shameful and quite embarrassing! Mother and Nurse are really trying their best to persuade me to marry this fine, wealthy man; maybe I should reconsider this proposal?

Mother says that I could learn to love anyone as well as going out with Paris in the upcoming days. Yet I could not see how it could work no matter how hard I were to try. I told my mother that I would try to love him if I could and please her as much as I could; knowing that this was the right thing to say to her because she started to glow rather joyfully. Mother explained without a doubt about how she got married to father far younger than me and how at first it would be very uncomfortable but quite a great experience later in life.

She is making me a little anxious and confused just thinking about this marriage. After mother’s ‘speech’ to me on her life so far with father, Nurse interrupted mother and I rather suddenly, and spoke a great deal amount of how she has always watched me grow along the years as well as waiting for me to reach this particular age to get married to someone as worthy as ‘The County Paris’. She also stated that if I was to marry Paris my life would turn remarkable. The only time she stopped to catch her breath was when mother halted her for peace!

Everyone seems very eager for me to get married. What will happen when my news breaks their hearts? On the other hand I am only 13! What will everyone say if I do this? Will father disown me as his only, cherished daughter? What if I don’t get another proposal until I am 30! In spite of mother and nurse’s opinion in this marriage I am still apprehensive about father’s reaction if I say no. What will he say if I tell him I want to wait a little and enjoy my life for a bit more, rather than get married right away.

I am his only daughter so he might want to show me off to his special acquaintances that I’m old enough to be married to such a high and prosperous man ideal to be my husband. What a thought. I don’t want to embarrass father if I reject this marriage, he might become a laughing stock! Father has given me everything I have always wanted and to say no to this just makes my heart swell up and my throat filled with regret. Tension and stress roaming all over my body, why or why does this have to happen all of a sudden.

Father has already enough on his plate, adding this ceremony if I agree would be too much for him. This huge decision which has been put upon me is just really difficult to bring an end to. Father has been extremely gentle and caring to me since this was heard from Paris. I wouldn’t ever want to leave him, his calm and tender voice soothing me on my tough days; it just makes me weep of thinking to leave him. How will I cope without him? All I know is that my love for father will never end. Despite the marriage issue, this morning there was a lot of fussing going on around the household.

Apparently father is holding a gathering in the main chamber for his honoured guests to socialise and take pleasure in this eventful day. Of course father wouldn’t waste precious time pondering upon the Montague household as there standards are a disgrace to us. The rivalry between us is too deep to comprehend. Is father thinking of announcing my marriage to all of the guests? I will be humiliated if this happens as I have still not decided what I want! I hope mother is with me on this and stops father’s outburst on this undecided announcement.

On the whole, I still have faith in father whatever his actions are as they are for my well being. Mother expects me to dance with Paris at the ball tonight and get the chance to know him better so I don’t feel hesitant around him in future. I am really nervous and I have clammy hands just thinking about saying the marriage vows! Perhaps I am old enough to marry and I am beginning to show off some of my wonderful beauty which has not sprung upon me till now. But what will happen is still unspeakable..... I must hurry now as mother is going wild looking for me to get ready......

References

• Encyclopedia Britannica - Romeo and Juliet
• SparkNotes