Every time we have a family gathering in our house, informal debates are always part of the “program”. My family and I are delighted to involve talking about current issues especially that concerns the humanity’s welfare morals. It will start from simple talks and later become a big debate amongst our family members. It sounds funny but that is how we have our family gatherings. In fact, discussing current issues make our spirits alert and alive but if there is none, our gathering will become boring and seems incomplete. I personally really like exchanging ideas and point of views from others.
Through them, I can learn many insights and know their position regarding the issue, whether they are pro or not. This kind of characteristic really runs in my veins. I am a kind of person that will truly stand for what I believe is right. I will never concede to a perverse beliefs and ideas. Even though I have this kind of attitude that like to debate even on simple issues, I do still have my friends that stick with. There are times that we argue on nonsense things that sometimes lead us to a “fight”. I can still remember one incident that I and one of my closest friends had a fight over on one issue and that is upholding the good morals.
I know we have different views when it comes to that matter. She is quite liberated but I am a reserved and quite conservative type of person. So if we talked over on morality, our ideas always clash and it is not new to me at all. Yes, we are friends but I do not do what she does and she does not do what I do because of our opposite views when it comes to morality. The argument started when she confessed to me that she and her boyfriend had indulged into premarital sex several times. My initial reaction was shocked. I was not able to talk for a moment because of her confession to me.
I was shocked with her confession not because the idea itself is new to me but because I was not expecting them do it. I trusted her boyfriend very much that he will not do anything wrong to my friend because I expect him as a person who wants my friend to be preserved even we are in this perilous times where our morals are already deteriorating. I am not against on the idea of having sex because it is a gift of God to be enjoyed by individuals specifically for the married people but doing it outside marriage is a very big “no, no” to me.
And I don’t even say that I want her to be like me because I do believe on individualism. All I want to see is, she will learn how to respect her own self and not allowing anyone, not even her “beloved” boyfriend, abused her body and take advantage on her. In this modern world, several people either young or old, of legal age or not are into it. It becomes a trend of our society. If you don’t experience it, people will regard you as “loser” and coward but if you do, you will gain their appreciation and approval. See? This is how our world being corrupted of worldly pleasures.
And I don’t believe that if everybody is doing it, it is already right. We have to uphold our morals as people and not letting the things of this world influence and corrupt our good character. That is one of my convictions as a person. Furthermore, she continued to relay to me the things they did in full details and silence came up in the atmosphere. I just allowed her pour out her heart on me. After a few minutes, I asked her why she sticks for that idea and permitted it to happen.
But she only answered, “Why not? Everybody is doing it. And besides, we love each other very much. I was very annoyed and disgusted with her answer but I tried to hold back my temper and trying to make a “good” discussion with her regarding the matter. So, I continued asking her. “Do you think that is the only way you can express your love to your boyfriend? ” I asked. Then, answered back “what do you mean? We do this because we love each other. Don’t you understand! And don’t you ever dare to dictate my life on what should I do. You are not my parents! ” she exclaimed. Those words struck me a lot. I am just discussing this matter to her because I love her as my dear friend and I want the best for her.
I am hoping that, through our discussion, she can be able to realize the possible things that might happen to her in the future if she and her boyfriend will continually indulge on it. So I told her that even though everybody is doing it, it doesn’t mean that it is already right. My point was, even though everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible but not everything is constructive. What seems right to our eyes may lead us into destruction. I told her that she is just destroying her life. Her dignity as a woman was lost.
I am trying her to understand my point that I would just want her to preserve her virginity until she will get married because that would be the only best gift she can give to her husband aside from her precious love. But she chose not to understand my point because she was “extremely” in love with that guy. I can understand her feelings but I can’t tolerate her actions. What she only thinks is the present happiness and not looking for the possible consequences in the future. I told her that every action she will be doing has its consequence. It might be right or wrong. Then, I asked again. “What if you get pregnant?
Is he willing to accept the responsibilities and marry you? ” She was silent for awhile and thinking for an answer. “Well…My boyfriend loves me so much and I am pretty sure that he will! ” she replied and I can see her trying to convinced herself as she said those words to me. “Oh, well… if that’s the case, I can’t force you to listen to my advices. I respect your opinion and decision because that is your life. But, always remember that I am not intruding your personal life. I am just worried what might be the consequences of your action and if you are really ready to face that consequence. ” I responded.
So, that argument is closed and I am thinking that it will never be an issue again to both of us. As time passes by, she continued to share to me what she and her boyfriend were doing and it was all about their sex escapades. I do listen to her even I do not like what I am hearing. I am trying my very best to understand her and remind her that it is not yet late to change. But she will just tell me that there is nothing wrong with her. In fact, she is very proud to experience it. One day, she phoned me and asked if we can dine out. We went to our favorite restaurant. When I saw her, she looked restless and haggard.
I smiled at her and asked, “What is wrong? How are you and your boyfriend? ” She just smiled bitterly to me. “Why? ” I asked again. “I am pregnant and I do not know what to do with this baby. ” I just looked at her and never said anything for a second. “I will abort this baby! ” She started to cry. “No! ” I said. “Did your boyfriend learn about this? ” What did he say? ” As I asked those questions, tears kept falling on her eyes. “Tell me… What did he say about the baby? ” I repeated.
“He wanted me to abort the baby? He doesn’t want to marry me because we are still young and he has no job yet. I told her to keep the baby and never mind her boyfriend. Anyway, she can take care and provide the needs of her baby if she wants to. But she told me straight on my face that she will abort the baby. Due to her confusions, abortion came up into her mind as an ultimate answer for her recent problem. I told her that she already committed sin once, the sin of committing premarital sex, and now she should not sin again by aborting her own child. It is not right. It is morally not right. You are killing an innocent child, a child that has no strength to defend and fight for himself.
This time, I persistently argued with her not to abort her baby. I told her that the guilt will always haunt her for the rest of her life. She might escape the shame for having a baby without a husband but she will not surely escape the guilt that will forever haunt her conscience. She was very stubborn because she told me that she needs to abort the baby because she cannot handle the responsibilities and the shame. I told her that all those scorns from other people will just pass and never be remembered again as the time will pass but the life of her baby cannot be withdraw from death once it is aborted.
University/College: University of Arkansas System
Type of paper: Thesis/Dissertation Chapter
Date: 19 February 2017
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