Statistics have it that one out of 10 men in their life time will go through a moment of impotence. Such impotence, depending with an individual, is likely to have devastating consequences. Erectile dysfunction refers basically to the inability of a man to sustain an erection that can enable him to have a fulfilling sexual intercourse. Traditionally, erectile dysfunction was being associated with aged persons of over 65 years, but in reality the problem is more common than what many would wish to admit. It is a normal occurrence especially when it is episodic or periodical.
Experts have recognized that it is possible for men to experience continuous sexual virility. Ones performance is bound to fluctuate once in a while. Erections at times may not be instantaneous and when they are, they may not be hard enough to sustain sex and if they are, recovery time may be lengthy (http://www. respondagain. com. au/e/e003. cfm. ) Erectile dysfunction may be either caused by physiological or psychological factors. Physiological factors are but complications that touch on the internal body mechanism that would compound the entry and retention of blood in the penis.
Psychological factors have to do with a person’s emotions and thoughts. They emanate from anxiety rather than any sort of injury or any complication in the penis. To establish whether there is any physiological complication in a man can be done through a simple test conducted while one is asleep. Men experience nocturnal erections that occur subconsciously. Having such erections at night is an indication that one is not in any way physiologically impaired (Walter C S. , Michael K. C. , 2000. ).
Whereas momentary or periodic erectile dysfunction is a common phenomenon in men, not all men are able to cope with such impairments and it might end up having devastating consequences not only in their sexual life but also in their personal lives. It is this impact of erectile dysfunction on men’s life that will be the focus of this paper. It will also look at the impact such a problem may have on a man’s sexual partner. The importance of sex in a man’s life cannot be underscored neither underestimated.
Sex is core in many people’s lives and more so in men where it is often than not used as a measure of masculinity and manhood in the society. Anything that would impede or impact negatively with a man sex is bound to spill over and have devastating impact on ones sense of masculinity. Traditionally, men have been made to believe that a show of ones masculinity starts with the key organ; manhood. It has over time been used as a source of great joy and show of power as many people may be heard basking in the glory of their sexual exploits to earn them respect amongst their fellow men.
Such is the stature that a man’s virility is held that any evident of malfunctioning may result to emotional draining. This emanates from a resultant feeling that one may be less masculine than his counterparts. So much importance has been attached to sex such that anything that might affect one’s sex life is viewed as impeding on the general enjoyment of life (Benet AE, Melman, 1995). While it is normal for men to experience sex problems, not many will come forward and admit to having such a problem. It is a distressing issue and a source of great embarrassment.
Some even shy away from consulting their doctors on how to resolve the issue. Sex has been recognized by many as a source of great pride. Erectile dysfunction impacts negatively on this. A man suffering from it is likely to decrease the level of his self-confidence and most importantly self image. Men will start believing that their life is coming down in shambles and that they can no longer stand up to be counted amidst other men. A good performance in bed has been seen as a great booster in a man’s confidence and self-image.
Like wise, any failure in such a performance is also bound to have extreme consequences. The dissatisfactions experienced in the bedroom quickly with time spill over to the social life as the man will start seeing himself as a lesser man, a fate many men claim is worse than a call of death. Men start becoming withdrawn and are likely to turn violent or hostile with the slightest provocation. This problem is usually further exacerbated by the lack of communication between the partners involved.
A common occurrence, it is usual for men upon discovering that they have a problem, result to silence and total disengagement from sexual intercourse for fear that people will come to know about it and look down upon them. They may shut off any display of affection fearing that it will eventually lead to sex; an act they might not handle satisfactorily. This problem further affects the man’s partner who might fail to understand the nature of their partner’s problems. Men are likely at this time to become vexed easily and be isolated from what their partner is doing.
They do not participate actively in sex, as they are embarrassed that they will disappoint their partners half way through the act. It is possible that those suffering from erectile dysfunction may experience momentarily erection, but will not sustain for long. They hence feel that they are igniting a fire that they might not be able to extinguish in the end (Lue TF, 2000). At the initial stage of erectile dysfunction, a man’ partner may be tempted to think that it is her who has a problem rather than the man.
Many women think that when their men fail to rise to the occasion, it is because they are unattractive. Take for example Wallace, who for the last 18 months has been unable to rise to the occasion, even after having had hit it off with Jane. Jane has all along been complaining of Wallace’s problem to no avail, he is embarrassed of the situation. He is experiencing a temporary impotence and does not wish to discuss the problem with even his best friend Julius. Jane is distraught and thinks that she is the cause of the problem.
She is unable to come to terms with the fact that Wallace is unable to have sex with her, as he should. She blames it upon herself doubting her attractiveness. This affects her self-esteem as well as that of Wallace and their relationship is strained beyond repair. This is an indication of how erectile dysfunction affects the life and self-confidence of a man a well as the partner. Lack of proper communication between the partners is bound to complicate the situation further.
The man is ashamed of his inability to sustain an erection and satisfy his partner, while the partner is psychologically affected by the belief that the man is unable to rise to the occasion, as he no longer finds her attractive enough (Pease, Bob, 2002). Most of the relationships where men experience these problems end up in shambles, as both partners may not be tolerant enough. The man may not want to continue in a relationship where his masculinity is in doubt and for that fact his ego, while the lady thinking that the problem is irreversible may wish to walk out of a non satisfying relationship.
She may also walk out of the relationship for most often than not the man is bound to become withdrawn and keeping to himself. If erectile dysfunction is not confronted early enough it is likely to lead to a number of problems that might tremendously change a mans’ life and that of the partner (Real, Terrence. (1997). Erectile dysfunction can be cured through both medication and psychiatric help. Drugs such as Viagra and others can reverse this problem. It has been identified that, erectile dysfunction caused by psychological factors just requires confidence boost.
It is thoughts and emotional based whose cure should also centre on the psychological foundation. A psychiatric session can reverse this where a man is supposed to focus on the positive side of his performance and not doubt his ability to satisfy his partner. Although this might not change overnight, it can be done through a number of sessions and counseling. For the erectile dysfunction caused by physiological factors, it is important that a physician be consulted to repair any damage or injury that might be affecting sustenance of an erection.
It is more than apparent that erectile dysfunction is a common problem in men that is as distressing as it is disturbing. Human beings value sex and men have been known to use it as a measure of their masculinity. Failure then to rise to the occasion is devastating and may lead to diminishing self-confidence and image. The partner may also be affected by thinking that she either is unattractive or the man is having an affair outside the relationship. Such a problem hence can land a devastating blow to a relationship if the partners fail to come to terms with the complication and work out a solution together.