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“I am who they say I am, or am I who I say I am”
Growing up, people’s opinions and the way they felt towards me, affected me a lot. After a while, I began to believe what everyone was saying about me was true. For instance, when my friends (Then) would call me “stupid” or “ugly”. I believed it. Had I known what I currently know now, that words hold so much powerful force things would be differently. I am typically reminded of a statement (Jessamyn, West) once expressed “A broken bone can heal, BUT the wound a word opens can FESTER forever”.
I still deal with the names people have called me. The names they called me, had brought so much damage to my life. What they were calling me, I started acting on it or telling myself, that’s what I am. They called me ugly, I just knew that I was ugly. They said I was stupid then that’s what I was.
For example, in school, when the teacher passed us back our assignments and I’ll see a bad grade, I would think to myself, “they’re right, I am stupid, I am a failure”.
I didn’t really realize I was really acting the names they were calling me until one day I was sitting in my room, contemplating on how powerful and importance words are. I recollect when I said some things to people and others would react, “be mindful of what you say and how you say it, words have so much powerful meaning behind them”.
It final dawn on me, people were speaking certain things on my life or about me, I started acting on the words and became who they said I was. From that moment on, I knew I had to make a change. I had to change my surroundings and the ones I associated with. It was the one’s who said they had “My best interest at heart” when they truly didn’t. They’re the one’s who would dig a ditch for you and watch you fall in.
When people talk about me, I always take it to heart whether their talking good or bad about me. It took me a while to say you know what, “I will no longer let someone’s else words affect or define who I am. I had to get rid of a lot of people which meant letting them go. It was hard, but I had to do it. They were causing so much pain in my life I started to think who they say I am was true. I began talking constructive things about myself and my life. Once I began speaking positive things about my life, I notice a drastic change. That’s when I realize I am who I say I am, and no one will have control over me like they did. (Wille, Nelson) couldn’t have said it better, “Once you replace negative thoughts with a positive one, you’ll start having positive results. I started speaking positively about my life I am smart, I am beautiful I’m not who they say I am, I am who I say I am.
When it comes to verbal and non-verbal communication, I try to focus more so on the verbal side of the communication. Verbal communication is easier for me to understand and hear, not just going off someone’s body language. But for a very long time, I was the same one who did non-verbal communication. I was at the point in my life where I was just so focus on everyone’s opinion about me, and me acting on their opinion’s. I was like in a shell shutting everyone around me out, using my body languages for people to try and figure out what was wrong with me or how I felt. (Elizabeth, Warren) Recited, “If you’ve been treating me is a mark of fondness, maybe you better look at your own interpersonal communication skills”. Reading what Elizabeth Warren statement, I needed to do some assessment on my correspondence and not simply mine but rather others also.
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