Jennifer Weiner once said “divorce isn’t such a tragedy. A tragedy’s staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of divorce”. Lots if people go through divorce for various reasons, such as financial issues, not being able to have children, not communicating, infidelity, etc. there isn’t always bad effects there is positive and negative effects of divorce. You have to find your ways of dealing with your divorce and ways to heal from your divorce.
Divorce has become a much more phenomenon than it used to be.
Divorce comes about in so many different ways, such as money, money is the #1 cause of divorce. Having little money or living in poverty also brings on a lot of stress, because you will always be worried about it . In a marriage if you are having differences in spending and saving habits it causes arguing over money and leads to misunderstandings. Also because men are insecure when women do better than them, if the women is bringing in more money than the man it can cause issues.
Infidelity is another cause of divorce. Marriages are based on trust, faith, and feelings for one another. When, one cheats the other partner loses that trust and faith. When a partner is involved in infidelity, it causes pain and suffering for the other partner. Not only having physical affairs but emotional affairs count as well. Social media is a very common way to cheat, coming in contact with old ex’s or interfering with the opposite sex.
Aslo both partners have to be committed to the marriage. It is impossible for just one person in the marriage to make is successful on their own. Very few marriages survive from the impact of infidelity.
Other reasons for divorce being addicted to anything, especially alcohol and drug addictions. Alcohol or drug addiction, they lead to substance abuse. Having wrong or high expectations from your partner can lead to arguments. Aslo having different expectations on household task or about having or bringing up children. Not being able to have children or not wanting to have children is a big issue for the one who has always wanted children.
Most people think their is only negative effects of divorce, but there is also positive effects in a divorce. Going through a divorce is the best event to go through of our interesting in learning more about yourself. As you work on being yourself again, your children will see how important it is to value yourself. Also allows your children to watch and learn from your mistakes. You can finally understand what you needs instead of focusing on your ex spouses needs. Getting divorce creates a better house holds for some because everyone in the household can feel the stress when you are with someone you aren’t happy with. Divorce also improves your physical health, a bad relationship can cause a lot of stress and your body can only take so much stress.
Some of the main points as to why divorce has these negative effects, the well being of family, there are health consequences related to divorce that can affect a fragmented family mentally and physically. Divorced adults are over 2 times more likely to commit suicide than those who are married. Divorced men in most developed countries have twice the premature mortality rate of a married man. Divorce also affects children,, according to the university of New Hampshire, infants and toddlers seem to experience the fewest effects from a parents divorce. Children older than three seems to end up believing it is their fault. Elementary aged children will tend to act out and suffer from from mental anguish or depression. Also children of divorced parents are two times more likely to have their own marriage end in divorce.
Only way to get through a divorce is learning or knowing how to get through it, what to do, how to do it and more. Start with using the words “ I don’t” instead of “I do”. Using I do still love him/her brings pain avoid using you do still want him/her use I don’t like, i don’t need him/her the words I don’t helps you a lot put it in your head that is over and your going to get through it. Don’t blame and trash talk your ex, it hurts you more than it hurts them.(Riss, sockwell p. 3). Recognize that it’s okay to have different feelings and don’t fight them. Know that it is normal to have ups and downs, and feel many emotions, like anger, relief, fear, and confusion. Joining divorce groups/clubs helps, you will gain friends that are going through what you’re going through. Going to these groups and talking about your breakups, and sharing your experiences, strength, and hope with other people helps you feel less alone. As you share your pain, mistakes, and recovery, you gather a lot of wisdom. (Riss, Sockwell p. 3).